Bit my tongue!

[dognecks]

make sure you are getting plenty of help at home and with daughter ........ massive hugs from me.... paul a carer

 

[kingmidas1962]

Both sets of my Grandparents had their elderly parents living with them at different times when they could no longer live alone. My Mum looked after Dad's Mum & the her Mum again when they were too old to live alone. Both their husband's had died 1st so they were alone. Hubby's grandparents were looked after by their family too. It is nothing new & the only reason it stopped was because society changed.
Now you can shout me down for the next statement, but I'm not worried! If you look back to both the old & new testaments in the bible, it was normal to have extended family living under one roof. When a woman was a widow & had no children to care for her, church members took her in to care for her in old age. It was normal to have one's parents & perhaps grandparents under one roof - as recently as the last century too. It's people who have changed. Our entire lives have changed. Back then it was normal for women to be homemakers & when the children were going to school or perhaps married & left, the older grandparents filled their gap in the house. It's so different that now we all live separate lives, in far off towns, with busy lives. So this isn't the 1st generation at care at home. Nothing new under the sun.

I wouldn't shout anyone down for anything - we're all entitled to our opinions, and if we can't say what we believe here then where can we!

What you say is absolutely true - its nothing new, folks caring for family members - BUT as you also quite rightly say peoples lives have changed - and I'm not saying for the better ... but something has to give, as things in society are so very different now ...... so what is it? Do I grind myself into the ground until I suffer a breakdown like my mum did at my age from caring for her mother? Or do I break the chain .....

 

[treecol]

Do I grind myself into the ground until I suffer a breakdown like my mum did at my age from caring for her mother? Or do I break the chain .....

ooh sorry my point wasn't about that actually. No, I have been bought up to care for elderly parents, but can I continue to do it myself? Today, yes, tomorrow? I don't know. I too would walk away & put Dad in care if my stress levels climb above what they are right now. Hubby wouldn't let me continue either. Dad is sooo difficult at the moment, it wouldn't take much to put him in care. We all do what's best at the time & it's hard.