1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Tomorrow is Peg's birthday,she doesn't remember it is,Christmas slipped by unnoticed and tomorrow will be the same.
    Some presents arrived from son No2 and the grand kids,but it didn't really register ,I have promised to remind her tomorrow to phone and say thank you. Her worry that they would think she was ungrateful'
    I bought her a bunch of beautiful roses,and I arranged them for her.
    She said they are beautiful but all I want is you and you won't ever leave me will you? I'm not a nuisance am I ?
    I'm sorry Chesca I cannot complete my late shift it's now12.00 and I feel a bit down and despondent.
    I will slide into bed and snuggle up to her, and wish and wish for that future that can never be again.
    All the very best wishes and kind thoughts to you all
    Norman
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear, dear, Norm, you make me cry with pride at just knowing you! No one could have a more loving partner. Peg is blessed to have such a husband. Oh that I could grant your wish my love. Peg is a Capricorn then, same as me, my birthday is Monday. Today, we visited a lady Mum went to Crossroads lunch club with, she was 84 and is early/middle stage. Her son arranged a little party because who knows what next year will bring. In your own words Norm, day by day, all the very best to both of you and have a lovely day, love She. XX
     
  3. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Norman, snuggling up to Peg is the very very best place you could be. Dear Peg knows she is loved - the touching comments, the flowers, you, they are all the assurances she needs at this time. And tomorrow you will have a fine day because that's what you do, with love. Although it is your's and Peg's day, can I steal a little of it and say that you both remind me so much of my mum and dad? It gives me a warm feeling for a moment. Thanks so much for that. Let's forget the bad moments for a little while.....

    You know, I learnt as things have progressed with Mrs P's AD that every day can be a festivity, a celebration. Not the falderols of commercialism, just a beautiful gesture of love, caring. Christmas did pass Mrs Pumblechook by but there is a particularly cleverly designed card she received with which she is fascinated and for some reason she can read the message: to the best Mum. This was from my sister, the one who barely shows her face! We keep all of these things and drag them out at any time of the year. There is a certain liberation in not worrying about a time appointed occasion. A smile is a party!

    Take care of you, too, you are more than special. Will be thinking of you tomorrow (or should that be today? doing the nightshift again!). Must go to bed myself. God Bless

    Love
    Chesca (aka Ms Midnight Minnie)
    xxx
     
  4. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I agree with Chesca - every day when you share a smile with Peg, when there is some sort of conversation, when you look at Peg and she shines through making you forget she is not well - every such day is far more important than any formal day, such as Birthday or Christmas.

    Have as good a day as you both can have.

    Best wishes
     
  5. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    hi norman
    i felt pain for you and myself,and everyone in our situation.Jim lost most of his vocabulary after coming off aricept 6 month ago he mostly babbles, but when i am sat holding his hand ,wich is most of the time,he can say ,very clearly,i love you very much ,please dont leave me ,i think it is this fear that brings out the aggression whenever we have male visiters,Jim also has a very choice and sho cking sentence he uses to send them on there way.and a funny one for the only brother in law that he still likes ,in the middle of his babble he smiles and says ,your a ploncker. then we all roar with laghter ,It seems he is hanging on to the important bits ,as we all should do .
     
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Normn, hope today has been a 'good' day. Thinking of you and Peg. Love to you both, Connie.xx
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Angela, it is wonderful that you can still do this, it's what makes you keep going, day by day as Norman says isn't it? "When the going gets tough, the tough get going. " If you are a carer, you learn to be tough don't you, not in a rough way, but with yourself, you put yourself on hold and just get on with the goin'!! Love She. XX
     
  8. Louise

    Louise Registered User

    Dec 19, 2004
    22
    PEMBROKESHIRE
    Happy birthday to peg!
    She may not be that aware that it's her birthday, but, you are there to remind her, and, you are there!!!! Just think that if you weren't able to be there through ill health or something else! How dissapointing that would be for you and peg.
    Well, i know things arn't as you would like them to be, and all your future plans are just a wish. My last wish was that i could have been there, on my mums birthday.
    But, i was in hospital with ill health and having to undergo an opperation. I cancelled a month before because i thought that i might miss out visiting my mum on my monthly visit. I couldn't cancell a 2nd time as i would have gone right to the bottom of the waiting list.
    Any how, just to let you know that it is all about making the most of the time we have!!
    I do know that it is a hard call, to be greatfull for what we have, and not yearn for what might have been, I do.
    Please accept my appollogies if i seem a little hard, but what you have is togetherness. That is something that, my dad didn't have, he was so ill and my mum, that he could not be with her on many of her birthdays etc., I hope you can understand where i'm coming from and know that i sincerily wish you and peg a happy day together, if only for one moment you can feel that it is so special, what you still have and for all that you were ! all my love louise xxx.
     

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