ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Hi everyone
    Today is my birthday and I thought it was going to be a good one but instead it turned into an upseting one, mainly for my Daughter because it hit home that her Dad was not the same man she knew and loved so much.
    He had kept on about getting my card which she did for him along with a gift and this was something she has done for a few years with no bother but what upset her was the fact that my husband could not remember what my name was and could not spell his own name .
    So it hit home just how bad things were getting and she shed a few tears, thankfully she did not make a fuss about it to her Dad and changed the name when he went out of the room.
    I am blessed with a good family who support me when they can so to see her upset was upsetting for me also ,but we had a litte hug and went back in to Dad and stared the day over again.
    Sorry to go on just needed to talk.
    All the best Roseann
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Roseann

    So sorry you've had this upset on your birthday. These days are often sad, because they bring home to us how much things have changed over the last year.

    You are so lucky to have a supportive family, and your husband cares to remember your birthday.

    I hope you and your daughter have managed to put this behind you, and you enjoy the rest of your day.

  3. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006
    Happy birthday

    Happy birthday Rosann.
    I think I can relate to your daughter - I too buy presents/Cards for Mum on my Dad's behalf. At christmas I told Dad to leave it to me I would choose a lovely present for him, however he kept ringing me everyday asking about the present and what he could get her - then he would forget about it again. However, along came Christmas (I spent it with Mum and Dad) and would you believe it - Dad had actually remembered to buy Mum a present - Mum was so pleased - she got two presents from Dad this time! - so it was a very happy day!

    It is interesting to hear how you feel about your daughter now seeing her Dad changing. I often wonder how Mum feels seeing me with Dad (we talk alot but I don't really talk about how I am feeling as I don't want to upset her). I find it hard to think that my Dad is changing, and I wonder how best I can help Mum (I live in Scotland - they live in Yorkshire - but I visit at least once a month). Maybe you can tell me from your experience how us daughters can help out our Mums the best way possible.
    Happy Birthday again - do enjoy yourself you deserve to!

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Hi Gromit
    Thank you for your good wishes.
    From my point of view the fact that my daughter and I can talk is one of the good things we have, she will listen if I need to let off steam or if I just want to talk about anything else.
    She comes to sleep one night every three weeks [she has three sons and a full time job so dos not have alot of spare time] but when she stays we have a girly night, cook a curry open a bottle of wine and when Dad has gone to bed have a good old natter about everything but AD. so then I feel refreshed the next day and she feels shes helped her Mum.
    She also gives me a break when she sometimes just comes to sit with her Dad and they get the old photo`s out and she will ask about the people in them [ this is one thing Dad can remember] she feels she helps him and also gets to know about her grandparents and aunts.
    I also have a good son and daughter-in-law who will do the same so that I can have a few hours to myself. It dos not have to be much just be there when you can even if it`s only on the other end of the phone
    The fact that you show you care means everthing and when you visit ask mum if she has any jobs you can do for her or arrange to get done.
    the one thing I stuggle with is that I have to do most things now even D.I.Y.
    Hope this helps a little as most of this just applies to me.
    All the best Roseann
  5. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006
    Thanks Roseann

    Thank you.
    I speak to Mum everyday on the phone (sometimes several times a day depending on how things are) and I try to get down to Yorkshire as often as committments allow. When I do visit I now take cowboy films with me - my Dad's favourite - so we can stick a film on for him and I can take Mum out for an hour or so and let her have a break. Luckily we can still leave Dad on his own for short periods as he is in early stages. The thing I think Mum needs most is a break from doing everything all the time. Dad does try to help out but can lose things very quickly and tasks take much longer than they used to. So Mum is taking over more and more of the daily tasks which I am sure must be tiring. I also wonder how Mum copes with the repeatativeness Dad has. He reads the same newspaper articles to her 3/4 times in a row sometimes - Mum must have the patience of a saint. On the positive side though Dad must be one of the few people that really does get value for money from tabloids!
    I do try and do as much as I can when I visit - but Mum being Mum doesn't like me to do too much, so I have to insist.
    I have taken on board your comments and will definitely try do as much as I can for my Mum.
    I hope you have a truly great birthday - it sounds like you have a wonderful family.
    All the very best to you all.
  6. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Sussex
    Happy Birthday

    Have a lovely day Roseann,

    I know it started with an upset, but the good thing is that you have a loving daughter and she has a loving set of parents, make the best of the rest of your day.

    The curry and wine nights sound wonderful, I have 4 daughters, maybe I could have one a week!!


    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Birthday Wishes

    Thank you all for your good wishes, the day did not turn out too bad after all.
    Lots of visits from the family and husband was having a good day, after pestering the daughter to get me a present it turns out he had got one weeks ago with the help of a friend so I had two presents one of which was an eternity ring so once again tears alround but this time happy ones.

    Gromit from what I have read from your post you are doing what you can for your mum so don`t beat yourself up, you are doing yourself proud so take care of yourself as well and don`t forget you are allowed to get upset from time to time.

    All the best to you all
  8. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006

    How wonderful - an eternity ring - that is sooo lovely.

    I'm glad to hear you had a good birthday - confirmed by your tears of joy!

    Going to phone mum soon, its hectic there at the moment, my brother, sister in law and my Neice are visiting at the moment - and my 5 year old Neice certainly knows how to keep her Grandad busy!!! Its like having two children in the house!

    Take good care of yourself and stay in touch.


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