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Billy no mates

danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Can someone explain the friends bit.Is it a bit like facebook.
Why would you request to be friends with someone.
If you don`t have many friends does it mean you are unpopular
If you make a friend request do they ever get declined.
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
0
Derbyshire
Hi Danny - I have not had one declined but some I have little contact with :D:D - not a problem though.

If you want to test it I will go now and invite you to be a friend - you can accept or decline as you wish!!!!
 

danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Thankyou Jan,now I am happy:)

No seriously what do you do with the friend section,is there some secret room where you meet up,are you alerted if your friends are on line.I suppose really I`m asking what is the purpose of it.I als feel sorry for people who do not have any friends:(
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Hi Danny,

I seem to have lots of friends but that may be because I was around when the system was installed and we were all practising and getting caught up in it. I have no idea what it really means and would personally prefer it if it weren't there at all for the very reason you have mentioned. It may make people feel like Billy no Mates:eek: I have sometimes used it to help someone new feel welcomed in a sincere attempt to help them have a sense of belonging.

It really is a silly part of the system in my opinion.

Love
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,095
0
Bolton
I agree with Helen. The site was changed last year and this facility was such a novelty at first but slowly I've stopped even looking at it so I have no idea if I'm being horrid to people who have asked to be friends or even if I have no friends at all.

For me the 'New Posts' section and the 'Private Message' section are the only sections I ever use or feel the need to use.

xxTinaT (probably another no friends billy but I haven't looked so I don't know)
 

Daisy Jane

Registered User
May 2, 2010
183
0
A new user's view!

:)
Hi, Danny,

I wondered if you would be interested in my thoughts, as an incredibly new user of the site!

I have made a few friends since I started joining in a few days ago, and they have mainly been people who share something in common with me - other than being a carer! So, maybe it's someone who has a similar family make-up, similar challenges, etc. I have at the same time sent them a personal message, saying hi and why I've invited them - I have the list to send and receive messages of support etc.

I have found it useful, if only to keep track of new friends! Do you think that it would be a useful tool for those suffering from Alzheimer's also?

but I do agree with you - I feel sorry for those who have no friends, they do look lonely!

Hope a new user's view helps!
take care
Daisy Jane
xx
 

danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Hi and thanks for taking time to reply,nice to meet you:)

Fraid I`m with Helen and Tina on this one.

It does come over a bit of a useless excercise and I really think it makes some people not feel `part` of this forum.

I started this thread because I thought I was missing out on something I did not know how to use correctly:)
 

Sandy

Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
6,847
0
For what it's worth here is my view.

When this feature was added to TP I was a bit skeptical as to what it really did. I was also rather wary of the concept of 'official' friends - displayed publicly.

I also wanted to start from the point of view that everyone on TP had the potential to be my friend, so singling out specific people seemed unnecessary.

So anytime that someone has sent me a Friends request, I say 'thanks' but I'm not using that feature (there is no option to turn it off on a user-by-user basis) and decline.

The real question is what does this feature give you as a user?

1) If you have identified members as Friends (or Contacts) you can easily see when they're online (+ symbol next to their name on the Who's Online list).

2. You can easily send them a PM using Quick Links > Contacts Popup.

3. You can create an album or blog which only your Friends or Contacts can access.

And that's it as far as I know.

Personally, I use the Contacts option instead of Friends as it doesn't require a formal invite and it's not publicly displayed.

There's no 'right' answer to this question, it's completely down to personal preference.

Take care,
 

Winnie Kjaer

Account Closed
Aug 14, 2009
2,011
0
Devon
I agrre with Helen, Tina and Danny. I feel we are all here as friends and supporters of each other.

We may have different circumstances, different opinions and be at different stages of the journey, but we are all here because we need friends and support during this difficult time.
 

Haydar

Registered User
Mar 13, 2010
60
0
Istanbul-Turkey
Hello Danny,

I am glad that you have opened this thread for discussion which I was asking to myself also.
I want to thank Sandy?s reply having her opinion about using TP?s feature related to 'official' friends - displayed publicly and informing us what this feature used for.

It looks to me for my own personal reasons entering member?s name to my contacts list (like she does) will suit my needs better than entering his/her name to my friends list. Even many members might thing I have no friends listed because I am not popular.

Best wishes to all of you, Haydar
________
 
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Daisy Jane

Registered User
May 2, 2010
183
0
Hi,
It is interesting to hear all the views of you guys who know what you are doing on this site!

After reading your opinions, I am beginning to understand why you started the thread, Danny. I am also aware that I am not as familiar with the mechanics of it as you are - eg using contacts. I haven't explored how things work in detail, because I've been so interested in the thread content, so maybe if I took the time I would agree that the friend option is redundant.

I'm not usually so easily swayed, so please don't think I'm soft! I think Winnie put it in a way that really brought it home - we are all friends and supporters here. This is how I have felt (more than any of you will ever know!), and I do agree the choice of friends contradicts that.

And I don't for a minute think you are not popular, Haydar! Anyone reading the threads will know how highly you are thought of.

It may not be the most important debate in the grand scheme of things, but I will admit defeat! ;)

Daisy Jane
xx
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
0
NW England
OK - I wasn't getting involved - coz I have raised this issue before ..... :(

I have yet again had another 'newbie' (no posts or blogs) invite me as a friend (they obviously don't know me!:D) ... and I don't think it's fair for 'ordinary members' to be tasked with handling requests from total strangers and refusing them politely and explaining how the 'site' works and how different members may use it ...

I have asked before that AS/TP come up with some standard response (if the 'friends feature' can't be switched off) .. so for what it is worth I am posting the reply I have just sent to some poor soul who is obviously needing support - has found 'friends' facility but is perhaps not clear on posting or using the forum ....

Hack it to bits by all means anyone .... but then I will keep it as 'standard' for myself and hope others might use it too ....

(And thanks Danny - reference to this thread obviously helped at this point in time!)

I have just seen you have invited me as a 'friend' on TP .... firstly I would like to welcome you to TP and understand it is not a happy situation that you have had to find the forum.

I am afraid I don't use the 'friends' facility. I am also a member who tends to rarely, if ever, read 'Blogs'

In fact there has been a recent thread on this issue ....

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=23729

I hope, however, I, as well as many other members of TP will come to be 'friends' and support you in whatever way any of us can.

I do hope you understand. Users use the site in lots of different ways. Please do post in the main forum. If you are having any difficulty finding your way around the forum - (but hopefully can respond to this PM) I will help as much as I can (or find someone who can) to get you started creating your own threads/making posts and finding responses to them ....

This is an excellent link: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=8727

I appreciate sometimes new members register because they are in urgent need of support - don't expect you have to 'read through' everything before posting!!!! Just post anywhere if you are not sure - and it will be picked up …..

Kindest regards,


Karen
 

Nanak

Registered User
Mar 25, 2010
1,973
0
61
Brisbane Australia
And of course I have just checked and I have seen the friends bit. And of course I have accepted one friend!!! Now how silly do I feel? My only excuse is that when I first joined I was stressed! Other than that my only fallback is that I am now 50 and seem to be losing the plot!!
Kim
Mum 12,500 miles away
:(
 

Haydar

Registered User
Mar 13, 2010
60
0
Istanbul-Turkey
Friends list

Hello Tender Face,

I am glad hearing that you have asked before to AS/TP come up with some standard response (if the 'friends feature' can't be switched off). I totally agree with your solution to eliminate some member?s thinking of being unpopular because they don?t have friends to advertise.
I am also glad seeing you and Sandy while you both definitely popular in TP not advertising your friends, which gave me psychological relief since my friends list is also empty.

Best wishes to you all, Haydar
________
 
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Countryboy

Registered User
Mar 17, 2005
1,585
0
South West
Hi Danny hope ur ok, if your diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or any dementia that changes your personality friends will start to disappear, I have sat with you over a coffee for over 2 hours and also attended the open day seminar with you so you will know the type of person I am honest truthful and straight to the point, we both live in a small community I can count my friends now on one hand if I lost half my fingers. { I define a friend as some one I know closely for several years unfortunately on T.P we have no idea who were talking to and by the way I would never use twitter , face-book or you-tube}

Danny saw your photos on another thread, I still find it difficult to find my way around T.P site and I started using a computer with the council in 1986 put it down
to the dementia

cheers tony xx
 
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danny

Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
3,342
0
cornwall/real name is Angela
Hi Tony,I think if we are all honest most of us only have one or two really close friends who we can share our deepest thoughts and secrets with,mine is probably my husband.

Popularity is not all it is cracked out to be Tony!Ask these people how happy they really are and you will be suprised!
 

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