Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea!!!!


Registered User
Nov 7, 2004
The problems carry on. No more legal stuff thank goodness.

I am very concerned about seeing Mum by myself after what I've been through, so with that in mind I saw Social Services yesterday with a view to moving mum to another home.

To put it bluntly they said they'd be very reluctant to move mum cos as far as they are concerned she is settled and seems to be getting cared for well. I understand that.

They also said that moving her could start a rapid decline, so what do i do?

If I move mum I could hasten her death, but I can't visit her where she is because I can't trust the staff.

Those damn nurses still have an influence on my life!!!

No matter what way I look at it, even if the manager of the home looks at the statements and tells the staff it's all lies, I cannot be comfortable that someone else may think "Good we'll make sure our story stands up this time"

Social services have not said they won't move mum but that would be a very last resort.

I cannot see any other solution to the problem. If I did move Mum, do you have any tips on how it could be done with the minimum of fuss so as not to upset her?

Also I cannot bear the thought of mum spending her last days in THAT PLACE. It makes me so angry. I want her in a better home. It's so drab!

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Registered User
Sep 16, 2005
You deserve a medal

Shakey, it sounds like your social services system is as bad as Australia's family law court system. I can offer little advice as I don't know the rules where you are, but I just wanted to say, you deserve a medal! If this disease isn't bad enough, I can't imagine having to go through what you have had to go through on top of it all! I will now knight you, Sir Shakey, go out there and do what you think is right and honourable as I know you will. God be with you, although I'm having trouble believing in him of late, so perhaps I will say instead, strength be with you.

Although I may sound glib, please don't take it that way, I am truly in awe of what you are coping with on a day to day basis and am serious that I would give you knighthood if I had it in my power.

All my best wishes for you and your Mum,


Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
West Sussex
Dear Shakey

As far as I can see. Social Services saying your Mum is settled and "seems to be well cared for" is not good enough. The two of you have been put through hell recently and really deserve better.

You are her son and if you feel that your visits can never be as relaxed as you would like, it is bound to have an effect on your Mum as well as you and your precious time with her must be the best quality it can be.

If you are constantly looking over your shoulder each visit then moving her is probably the best thing to do.

Good luck