Best Interests Meeting

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Ducky601, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. Ducky601

    Ducky601 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2018
    My SIL has caused much angst for her brothers over the last 12 months following contention regarding their late fathers Estate. That’s a separate issue. There is no Deputyship in place as yet due to her lack of agreement and changing of mind. Legal advice currently being sought.

    My husband has just found out this week that his sister was attempting to move their 93 year old mother (who suffers with Alzheimer’s) from the care home, where she has lived for a good few years, to a care home nearer the sister AND without telling her 2 Brothers.

    My husband only found this out because MILs current CH contacted the Solicitors handling FILs Estate as they wereunder the impression that Solicitors would be Financial Deputy. The Solicitors had to inform the CH they were not instructed to act (as previously agreed by the sister), as my husbands sister now opposed them acting as Deputy.

    My husband has spoken with the current CH, explained a few things and been invited to attend a Best Interests Meeting. My husband hasn’t been given any information about the possible new CH his sister has looked at so how can he give an informed opinion about a potentially new CH for his mom at this meeting???? He has quite a few questions to put before the panel at this meeting and I will help him with it all.

    Is his sister allowed to take her live-in partner with her to this meeting ????

    I would like to support my husband also but we definitely do not wish for any unpleasantries to arise.

    Any advice gladly received.
  2. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    Hi Ducky.

    I'm not sure of the legalities of it but my instinct would be to exclude all but the immediate family from the meeting. Spouses and live-in partners, unless specifically appointed in some formal way, shouldn't really be privy to what should be pretty confidential information.

    My next thought is that it might be wise to involve someone from the social services (are they perhaps involved already, or with funding?), to get a more neutral voice in the room.

    Leading from that, my next question is who is actually paying for this care home? Obviously any decision to move would have to involve them anyway.

    Lastly, I think it's up to your sister to make a strong case that the move is needed. If mum in law is settled and the care is good where she is then the only reason I can think of for a move is to be close to the person who visits them the most, if that makes sense. So if, for example, sister i law was the only visitor and she could show that her local care home met mum in law's needs then yes, I could see how the idea might have legs. If, however, all the children visit and sister in law has to make a bit of a journey then to me, logically, mum in law being settled is more important.

    Just my thoughts.
  3. Ducky601

    Ducky601 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2018

    Hi Delphie

    Thank you so much for for responding.

    Yes, SS are involved as there is no Deputy in place. That is a good thing. I do find it odd however, that it is only now that SIL is attempting this proposed change. In all the years that her mum has been in the CH she didn’t visit once before her father died. My FIL was distressed by this. We live 100 miles away and while not ‘regular’ visitors for my husband to discover what she was attempting, obviously causes concerns. I think that even if he doesn’t attend this meeting, he will be able to ask questions with the council worker who will put his queries, concerns etc before the panel. For the SIL to sneakily try & change CH without telling her 2 brothers, frankly is not a good way to go about things, but that of course is only my opinion. MIL is self-funding but a large amount is ‘owed’ to the CH because of a deferred payment scheme taken out by my late FIL. I won’t even say what this SIL has done regarding the Financial Deputyship and the problems she has caused - its been truly awful!!! We’ll see how this latest issue is solved in due course. Thanks again.

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