I'm so upset and hope someone can offer advice. There are a few things I'm struggling with. I apologise for this being a little disjointed. Dad was diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer's a few weeks ago. Since Jan he has struggled with his mobility after a fall and has fallen about 7 times since then. He had carers in from May following a uti. I've been looking after him as in calling in, cooking, cleaning and helping with bills for the last few years. I was concerned about his memory and took him to the drs 18 months ago. I have a toddler so the carers at home 4x a day were a great help as since may he became doubly incontinent. In June a carer found him on the floor and he was admitted to hospital with a uti, chest infection and jaundice. After 2 weeks he was sent to an assessment centre and he's now in his 6th week. I've had 3 meetings. The first was with the OT who said he needed 24 hour care. She recommended a nursing home. I was upset and my hubby and I looked into moving in with dad and getting extra carers in. I was called to go for a funding meeting and they have granted dad nursing funding. After this meeting I made it clear to the OT and social worker that we really wanted to pursue dad's wish and care for him at home but they called a 'best interest meeting' and on Wed it was made very clear to us that 'the decision had been taken out of our hands'. I was devastated. My dad can't stand unaided and is doubly incontinent. Mentally he has good and bad days but recently seems to be quite good with his short term memory. He said last week 'don't leave me here. They'll take all the money. It's yours' I knew he meant that they will take the house (my inheritance). He's always been very concerned about this as he lost a lot of my grans when she went in to respite. The rest of the time she lived with us and dad cared for her. This makes me feel even more guilty as dad was her carer 6 weeks and she went in a care home for 2 weeks respite. Our circumstance are slightly different as I work part time and have a toddler but dad was made redundant and I was grown up but it all still feels unfair. I phoned around nursing homes on Thursday and there are only 3 out of the 14 in my area with beds available. I looked around 2 on Thursday and ruled one out straight away. The other seemed quite nice but I'm still terrified that dad will know what is happening and that I am putting him in a home. The physio and Matron said they would talk to dad on Monday and I'm terrified how he will react. I know he will be very hurt and I know he will worry about money. I think his pension will cover about 80% and the rest will have to come from his savings before they take the house. What happens to a house if you own it and can almost cover the cost? Do they hang on to it in case it is needed for payment? Is nursing funding an indication that I couldn't care for him at home? Should I insist on taking him home and trying? Deep down I think this will be impossible. My other concern is when to move him. We are going away for 5 days on the 18th Aug and I don't want dad to think I've given up on him. I am looking at the 3rd home tomorrow but it is much more expensive. If I went for the home I looked around on Thursday and liked, there are a choice of 3 rooms. One was in the 'hub' of it all but had an awkward layout. Another was a nice layout but at the end of a corridor and the last room was in a quieter section but had a view of the car park, had a good layout and was straight outside the lift. I don't know which to choose. I'd like dad to choose but know he won't like any as he wants to go home! (Although he hasn't really talked about home but he knows he doesn't belong there). I'm worried if I don't decide soon, he'll have less choice. Or should I leave him in the assessment centre until I get back off holiday even though I know the matron will want to move things quickly. Should I move him early to get settled in over a week before I go away? I've just got to the assessment centre and a few of the carers are surprised that he is being made to go in a nursing home. They said 'there are worse people in the community' and feel I should take him home. Truthfully I think it would be easier for me if he went in a home but I would like it to be his decision. Again I apologise that this is all very disjointed and rambled. I'm so confused and upset. Thanks for taking the time to read this.