1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

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Best Interest Meeting - no decision

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Sterling, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Sterling

    Sterling Registered User

    Jun 20, 2013
    69
    Best Interest Meeting took place 6 votes for 24/7 care only 2 against that being social services. After an awful 2hours and 40 mins no decision was made because the Decision maker didn't want to. The NHS professionals had left and I was further pressured into changing my mind which I didn't do. I have now been told that there will be another BIM and I don't want to go. The Majority rules is the usual code but this was a farce! Have made a complaint.
     
  2. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    Thinking of you Sterling. Such a hard day! This sounds ridiculous. Funny how the purse holders are the ones saying no!!!! Outrageous is a word that springs to mind amongst others!!
    Please do go to the next one. Don't let them beat you down xxx
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I can't believe this! There must be a precedent somewhere. I'll have a look and see if I can find anything. So sorry, you must be so stressed
     
  4. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Hi Sterling,

    How awful for you. Good for you in making complaint.

    I wonder when the next BIM is? My opinion is go to it. I really don't know how your health system works.

    In Ireland it is horrific especially for vulnerable people and the elderly.

    Aisling ( Ireland)
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    If I did go to the next one but I would insist that the same people are present or they might bring in reinforcements to overturn the decision - that would be my main worry. It sounds highly suspicious to me and if they overturned it then you would have a massive fight on your hands. Meanwhile I would ask for a written explanation as to why policy wasn't followed and the majority decision ruled in favour. Don't let them get away with any verbal explanation
     
  6. Sterling

    Sterling Registered User

    Jun 20, 2013
    69
    Thank you so much! Have been so stressed. Why would they ignore all prof medical experts? Can't believe it...
     
  7. BillBRNC

    BillBRNC Registered User

    Jan 26, 2016
    40
    USA NC
    I'm sorry to say, because it doesn't matter if you are in the UK or the USA, but the only people you can count on to do what is right for you (if you have Alz) or your loved one with Alz are the people in the family, and sometimes not even then. Personally, I don't think the penny counters will ever choose what isn't in their own best interests, whatever that might be at the time. Good luck to us all.
     
  8. Sterling

    Sterling Registered User

    Jun 20, 2013
    69
    I don't believe it!!
    I have just received a phone call from a live in carer service saying that they have been given my number by Social Services and have been instructed to start on 15 th February. It is a complete farce!! The 2nd Best Interest Meeting date has not been agreed to.
     
  9. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,369
    Male
    North Manchester
    Can you contact the decision maker and ask if they have made a decision?

    I'm not sure whether or not there has to be a second Best Interests Meeting.

    As I understand it the decision maker has to make the decision based on a large range of inputs one of which is the Best Interests Meeting, they may have decided that they now have all the information they need and made a decision or the LA may have taken unilateral action.
     
  10. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Goodness me - that is such a strange response - without even speaking to you first!!
     
  11. Sterling

    Sterling Registered User

    Jun 20, 2013
    69
    If a decision has been made the hospital consultant is not aware of it. There is to be a 2nd meeting because the Decision maker refused to make a decision.
     
  12. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    This is so stressful for you, bloomin professionals don't seem to realise they strain they put folk under! Keep your chin up and see what happens next. Do you want the live in carer? I haven't heard of SS providing 24/7 care at home!
     
  13. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    403
    Orpington
    This happened to me and my Mum. Two SW, Physiotherapists, Nurse and Ward Doctor. They had best interests meeting, I protested, they still send her home with broken pelvis, broken down hip repair and bedridden. 3 hours later she was back in hospital. I had great pleasure in telling them Mum was a failed discharge. I then stuck to my guns and told them I am not giving them Mums house keys and I am refusing to care for her anymore. Hard to do but if worked! She eventually went into a Nursing Home.
     
  14. Anna Rose

    Anna Rose Registered User

    Aug 27, 2015
    4
    stick to your guns

    it always amazes me how decisions were made by people who have never even met my mother, yet the opinions of those who knew her best were ignored

    My advice is
    Write to the chief executive of the Trust. Make it clear that social services have gone against medical advice, your mother is a vulnerable adult and you feel she is being put at risk.

    Speak to your mothers Gp. Ask him or her to assess you mother if they havent already done so. Ask if you can have a copy of the report.

    Is there someone who could go to the best interests meeting with you for moral support? Social services normally turn out in force. it's so intimidating if you're on your own.

    Make a list of all your concerns, and the points you want to make before the meeting . Before you leave, give it to the chairperson and say you want this list put on record.

    Try to keep on the right side of social services, especially your mother's care manager. we got on the wrong side. What ensued was like trench warfare!!

    Make sure you get everything in writing either by e mail or in a letter. Ask for a copy of the written notes of the meetings, and take your own notes as well.

    If all else fails get legal advice. Most Solicitors offer a free comsultation. Sometimes just the threat of legal action is enough.

    I'm truly sorry that you're having to go through this. Stand up for your mother and what you feel is best for her. I worry if you don't go to the meeting that it will play into the hands of Social Services. I wish you the very best of luck.
     

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