Beginning of a long road

Rosi Strasshine

Registered User
Mar 29, 2005
4
66
Hi

I am new to this website owing to the fact that my Dad has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers (early to mid stages). My brother & I have known for probably more than 2 years what was wrong but have had a struggle getting a diagnosis, mainly because Dad has an incredible brain which up to now has over ridden his problems. Lately however, all his coping strategies have crumbled and he is deteriorating quite rapidly.

Dad lives alone (my Mum died almost 15 years ago) and has lost the ability to do some of the very basic things needed to look after himself. (I know I do not need to explain this to anyone reading.) Most days we find him sitting in the dark with his curtains closed because he often cannot differentiate between night and day. Our problem is that he will not admit to this and refuses any outside help because 'there is nothing wrong with me'! We would very much like to involve a Care Manager as suggested by his Consultant but cannot find a way in.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how we can introduce this sort of support for him (and us). My brother & I are working and worry constantly that we are unable to give him enough of our time. I would be so grateful to hear how others have overcome what must be a common problem.

Thank you for listening and for the website, which I have found inspiring. However, it makes me realise that we definately are at the beginning of a long road!!

Rosi
 

nikita

Registered User
Jul 31, 2004
92
long road ahead

hi would your dad consider a day centre to gt him out of the house, if not maybe just introduce someone even to get himout of teh house even once a week, my gran was veery reluctant to have carers some she liked some she was realy nasty 2, at times she wouldnt even open her front door, good luck
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
West Sussex
Hi Rosie, this is always a difficult one. Could you perhaps have someone call just as a "visiter for the elderly" at first, or like Nikita suggests try a day care centre, (I called it Mum's lunch club when she used to go to Crossroads one day a week) Any little fib that gets you the help he needs without upsetting him is worth trying. Love She. XX
 

Rosi Strasshine

Registered User
Mar 29, 2005
4
66
Thank you She and Nikita. I am obviously going to have to put my thinking cap on for a solution. A Day Centre would be great and I know there are a few available but that would follow on from Dad's acceptance of help. His consultant suggested he could talk to a student (for research purposes) but that was not welcome. We are in touch with a Social Worker but he has left it to us to find an initial way in.

Ah well - one step at a time. His consultant is visiting again on 3rd May so we may make some progress then.

Many thanks - Rosi
 

barraf

Registered User
Mar 27, 2004
308
Huddersfield
Dear Rosi

Have you been in touch with Crossroads? They are very good at winning over reluctant patients.

Margaret was very averse to having anyone coming into the houise originally, but now she accepts them albeit sometimes grudgingly.

I never refer to them as carers, it is always, Jane is coming to visit, which seems to work.

They take her out for a drive if she wishes which she prefers to staying in the house.

I know this isn't exactly what you are looking for but once you can get your dad to accept someone coming in you can progress to other types of help.

It is I'm afraid a long slow proccess and you will find you have to prevaricate to get your dad to agree to accept help.

But as in love and war, you have to do whatever is needed in order to achieve the desired result.

Cheers Barraf
 

Rosi Strasshine

Registered User
Mar 29, 2005
4
66
Thank you Barraf. I feel like a sponge at the moment, soaking up every bit of advice I can get. I am going to speak to someone at Crossroads on Monday to see what they can suggest and am also going into our local Alzheimer's Society to talk to someone there.
Its wonderful how much help there is when you start looking.

Thanks again
Rosi