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Been 5 weeks in care home

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Hi all, hope you are all doing ok.

Its now been 5 weeks since MIL went into care home and she is still doing well, unfortunately with the coronavirus we can only take her out in the car as long as she does not get out! CH also advised yesterday that only immediate family to visit - so that has screwed up the interfering cousin's plans who, on a side note, the other day demanded we give MIL a stick as her zimmer does not fit in her smart car - on your bike (excuse the pun!).

Don't think its going to go down well when we tell MIL her outings will be curtailed with the cousin but we can take the dogs to see her weekly in her room and she enjoys that. She does understand that there is a new "bug" going though. Conversation a bit limited as she seems to be forgetting family and friends a bit more and we have to remind her which one we are talking about but that's only to be expected. Is it me or do you find that less people visit their loved one once they go into a home, that is the ones her visited at home previously seem to just stop?

No surprise the invisible has had no contact with MIL or us since she went into care home, not even sent her a card or flowers - if we are not in lock down at the CH by mothers day, will be interesting to see if he sends anything.

It feels strange to think its only been 5 weeks feels a lot longer, but the OH and I are enjoying the quality time we get with MIL and with each other. The cat has moved back "home" as well! The eldest son and his girlfriend will be moving into the annex in a few months (so cat will probably move out again!), it will be strange to see movement in there again but welcome. I can go from carer to moaning mum but from a distance - about 20 feet!

Anyway I witter on - hope you are all keeping well and look after yourselves X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,287
Bedford
Glad to hear that the move has gone well and MIL has settled. Mum’s home said I can still take Mum out (as she still loves walking) providing it is open place and I don’t go in any cafes etc)
I created a photo album of family, friends and places she loved. The Carers will use it with her and if Mum looks confused or can’t remember someone I can use it hopefully in a tactful way.
As I moved Mum about 70 miles away to be nearer me I can’t really comment but at Mum’s CH it does generally seem to be mainly family visitors
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Glad to hear that the move has gone well and MIL has settled. Mum’s home said I can still take Mum out (as she still loves walking) providing it is open place and I don’t go in any cafes etc)
I created a photo album of family, friends and places she loved. The Carers will use it with her and if Mum looks confused or can’t remember someone I can use it hopefully in a tactful way.
As I moved Mum about 70 miles away to be nearer me I can’t really comment but at Mum’s CH it does generally seem to be mainly family visitors
I think our CH is being cautious as we live on a small island and only 1 case but I think that once it starts and due to the close communities, it is going to spread a little quickly hence no getting out the car. Good idea re the album thanks
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,908
South East
Good to hear all going well @Donkeyshere , and nice to see the annexe will be used again. Why can’t interfering cousin purchase a stick she can leave it in her car !
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,798
Chester
Good to hear all going well.

Interfering cousin comments made me laugh - as if she'd manage/be safe using a stick if she needs a zimmer.

Enjoy being a moaning mum from a distance. My dau had kidnapped the cat into her room, now she has gone, cat chooses son's room. We still have the other cat though.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,018
Essex
Dear Donkeyshere,

I'm glad that mil is settling. I felt as if I was on holiday mode when dad first went into the care home although I also felt grief and guilt.

MaNaAk
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Good to hear all going well @Donkeyshere , and nice to see the annexe will be used again. Why can’t interfering cousin purchase a stick she can leave it in her car !
Because of her balance her frame is better we think one of her falls was because she was using her stick and lost her balance, I could buy a stick and tell the cousin where to......you get the gist!
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Hi All I hope you are all keeping safe - what a strange time the last few weeks have been, everything all upside down, the MIL's home now in room lock down due to a local care home having the virus. So I just hope you are all managing as well as you can. Keep safe X
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,405
A room lock down must be very difficult for your MiL to cope with - and hard going for the carer's, but from what we see on the news once the virus gets into a care home setting it can spread rapidly. We've all got to dog deep in these grim days, I must admit to being a bit stir crazy myself.
Did the invisible send his mum a Mother's day card or maybe it got lost in the post!
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
A room lock down must be very difficult for your MiL to cope with - and hard going for the carer's, but from what we see on the news once the virus gets into a care home setting it can spread rapidly. We've all got to dog deep in these grim days, I must admit to being a bit stir crazy myself.
Did the invisible send his mum a Mother's day card or maybe it got lost in the post!
Hi Dimpsy apologies for late reply we've been sending cards on a weekly basis as she does not have a phone in her room and the wifi does not reach there unfortunately. When we last visited the week before mothers day she understood about the virus (may have forgotten the next day) but hopefully she still does. Other family members have been sending cards as well but as for the invisible not a word and we could not see her on mothers day due to lock down so no idea if he sent a card. I heard through the grapevine that the interfering cousin is sending cards as well so I am sure she keeps the invisible informed not that there is much to say.

We now have 3 care homes infected over here and my sons girlfriend who now lives in the annex is a carer in a home here so we have to be super vigilant with washing etc as my OH has diabetes. Its been strange to see the lights go on and off in the annex and the lockdown has been hard but even with all the beautiful beaches here, everyone has been obeying the rules which is a blessing when you see those who dont on the tv. Unfortunately, even though we have under 200 cases we have had deaths and its now getting to the stage where we know some people that have tested positive. But due to the local government doing a fantastic job here it has been better (if it can be) than it might have been otherwise if that makes sense! I've been working from home which is tiring in itself I dont know how others are coping with working from home and caring it must be very hard. Hope you and all on TP are keeping well and safe X
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,366
Sorry to hear about the room lockdown @Donkeyshere . I've not been able to visit mum for the last three weeks, and they now have a case of Covid-19. The home has been very good at posting pictures on Facebook, and until the case occurred the pictures were of residents doing things in communal areas. Now they've just posted a couple of pictures of people in their rooms. I'll guess I'll see one of mum sometime soon, but she is such a wanderer that I know she will find it hard. I too have been sending in cards, photos and ordering flowers and chocolate from Marks and Spencer.
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,405
Hi @Donkeyshere, good to hear from you and glad your MiL has settled into the care home.
The South West has got relatively fewer cases (at the moment) than other parts of the UK, but we definitely had an influx of holidaymakers before lockdown, although not as bad as Cornwall. People regularly spotted with walking boots and a rucksack; is that really necessary for the permitted hour's walk?
We are staying away from our lovely seafront as other people aren't, luckily we know the quiet places to exercise!
Mum watches the news, but has no real grasp of the situation, which is just as well really. It's great that you have your son plus his GF in the annex, that's the bit I find hard, not seeing the children/grandchildren. Facetime is ok but not as good as real face time.
My job is furloughed, so thanks to the lovely weather, we have a tidy garden and a greenhouse full of seeds popping up.
Still don't like the new normal though!
Stay safe
xx
 

Mousehill

Registered User
Nov 28, 2018
69
I think my sibling has read the same mobility guide as your cousins! He is absolutely insistent mum uses her stick - even though she is so much safer with her frame and the carers who come in once a week won't even risk the frame and use her chair!

I suppose in the present climate, sticking walking sticks where the sun doesn't shine isn't an 'essential activity' :D although the thought of it does wonders for my mental health...
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
I think my sibling has read the same mobility guide as your cousins! He is absolutely insistent mum uses her stick - even though she is so much safer with her frame and the carers who come in once a week won't even risk the frame and use her chair!

I suppose in the present climate, sticking walking sticks where the sun doesn't shine isn't an 'essential activity' :D although the thought of it does wonders for my mental health...
Hi @Mousehill you have brightened my day re the essential activity! Just had a couple of bad bits of news, my best friend a community nurse was at one of the care homes that has cases before they were diagnosed, now she is waiting to be tested as she has symptoms. Also heard from the MIL's care home as she is rather confused at the moment which is not good. Upset my OH a bit to hear that when we cannot go and see her. I was having a bit of a teary moment whilst trying to work from home (which I am not enjoying but at least I have a job) and read your post - yes I think it should become and essential activity if only for our mental health!!!
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Hi @Donkeyshere, good to hear from you and glad your MiL has settled into the care home.
The South West has got relatively fewer cases (at the moment) than other parts of the UK, but we definitely had an influx of holidaymakers before lockdown, although not as bad as Cornwall. People regularly spotted with walking boots and a rucksack; is that really necessary for the permitted hour's walk?
We are staying away from our lovely seafront as other people aren't, luckily we know the quiet places to exercise!
Mum watches the news, but has no real grasp of the situation, which is just as well really. It's great that you have your son plus his GF in the annex, that's the bit I find hard, not seeing the children/grandchildren. Facetime is ok but not as good as real face time.
My job is furloughed, so thanks to the lovely weather, we have a tidy garden and a greenhouse full of seeds popping up.
Still don't like the new normal though!
Stay safe
xx
Hi @Dimpsy just saying to @Mousehill having a bit of a melt down - yes its nice he is in the annex but its all been a bit quick with his girlfriend who has also moved in and they are a bit up and down just to add to the mix - but as my son said its ok mum we are adults and have to sort it ourselves! I've missed being on here - its save my sanity many a time before!

My sister is in Devon and she has a holiday home which she has had to shut completely for the time being and we do not even have a boat from the islands until mid May - I think we are all feeling a bit claustrophobic on the island! We do not have the furlough option on the island so its quite hard for businesses they have put other things into place but despite what people think we are not all loaded!

I agree I do like the new normal either!
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
476
channel islands
Sorry to hear about the room lockdown @Donkeyshere . I've not been able to visit mum for the last three weeks, and they now have a case of Covid-19. The home has been very good at posting pictures on Facebook, and until the case occurred the pictures were of residents doing things in communal areas. Now they've just posted a couple of pictures of people in their rooms. I'll guess I'll see one of mum sometime soon, but she is such a wanderer that I know she will find it hard. I too have been sending in cards, photos and ordering flowers and chocolate from Marks and Spencer.
Hi @Sarasa thats not good Covid I am half expecting it at the MIL's home if I am honest - even though its not what anyone of would want anywhere. The room lockdown was over a week ago the care home told us as soon as they did it and I dont think they have a facebook page but I have heard that the manager is now in isolation. I'm supposed to be working at the moment but I have taken my eye of the ball a little!
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,405
It's an especially difficult time to be forging a new relationship and GF must be worried sick about developing CV19 and passing it on to those in the care home and in your home.
My oldest daughter's in the same position, moved into her new flat last December, brand new boyfriend moved in with her at lockdown and is there for the duration. They are still working, so aren't in each others pockets 24/7, we are desperately hoping it works out for them (she's 40 and we'd like to see her settled) but only time will tell.

OH and I have had quite a few of our own meltdown and tetchy moment's, as a rule I go into the front garden and he stays in the back or does man stuff in his shed, that usually works. I'd be fibbing of I didn't own up to wanting to lock him in the shed for a few days, but he'd like that too much!
I get a bit stir crazy, but then, when I go out the fear sets in and I'm jumpy until I can get back home.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend and hope she comes through ok, most people do. No-one in my family / friends have shown symptoms, although someone I (used) to work with put himself into isolation right at the beginning, thankfully he remained all clear.

Oh well, time to go and tidy the airing cupboard!
xx