Bedtime is the problem, is there a way of getting a patient to go to bed at a reasonable time?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Old bill, Jan 11, 2020.

  1. Old bill

    Old bill New member

    Jan 11, 2020
    3
    My wife aged 86 was diagnosed 4 years ago. Bed has always been a problem. She hates getting up in the morning but the worse is getting to go to bed at night. I've tried everything I can think of but it is rare I can get her in bed before midnight then she normally disturbs me during the night. I sleep in an adjoining room and always leave the doors open. Bedtime is the problem is there a way of getting a patient to go to bed at a reasonable time ( I'd settle for 11 pm)
     
  2. Old bill

    Old bill New member

    Jan 11, 2020
    3
    I've literally just joined the forum. I am already heartened to know my wife's sleep problems are not unique. I've not yet resorted to sedatives but reading others this is an area I have to explore.
     
  3. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,606
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Old bill

    Sleep, or lack of it is a common problem on here. I’ve seen others who have resorted to the old fashioned bedtime drinks to try to help their PWD to sleep at the right time. Warm milk or, in one case, a tot of whisky sometimes get the desired result.

    I hope you have a peaceful night!
     
  4. Tea and. toast

    Tea and. toast Registered User

    May 8, 2019
    43
    Hello Old bill. I look after my Dad ( he is not early onset though) and getting him to bed has worsened over the last few weeks. I am lucky if i get him to bed before midnight. Last night it was 1 am. Then I heard some banging noises. He was fiddling with the bedside drawers and headboard for some reason. I settled him down.
    I went to bed then heard him opening and closing drawers. He wanted the toilet then he didn't when he got there. Wouldn't lie down until after 3 am. I fell asleep at 3.30 am and woke up at 7.30 with a start as the carer comes early on a Sunday. Dad dozes during the day so that probably doesn't help. We are meeting the consultant at the Memory clinic in a couple of weeks to review Dads updated diagnosis so will mention his sleeping patterns. Though Dad has been falling a lot too so doubt if a sedative is advisable. Dad has tea and biscuits to get him out of bed. Not sure if a biscuit at night may help.

    I hope you find a way to to help you and your wife get some more sleep.
     
  5. Old bill

    Old bill New member

    Jan 11, 2020
    3
    Thank
    thank you For
    Thank you Bun boots ( love the name) Yesterday for the first time for ages she went to bed. I give her a cocoa and talk to her for a while and she volunteered it was bedtime. I never argued and she was in bed after a minor anxiety attack and sleeping like a babe. I was so happy and this morning she got up without the normal need of persuasion . However since she got up she hasn't stopped talking, most of it is nonsense and some of it is fantasy. Is this the start of another phase? I really don't understand the minefield called dementia..
    Hope you get your Dad settled. I really feel for you.
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,086
    Female
    South coast
    Dont worry about the nonsense and fantasy - its her reality and you wont be able to bring her into your reality, so so long as she is happy it doesnt matter. I got very good at putting my brain in neutral and just letting mums chatter wash over me. I found that just saying things like "well, well" "you dont say" and "well I would like to have seen that" was enough to keep her happy.
     
  7. deepetshopboy

    deepetshopboy Registered User

    Jul 7, 2008
    202
    Ive had the problem with my dad although hes ok going to bed he sometimes will get up go into the kitchen back and down for hours i had 3 horrendous weeks when he didn't sleep i begged the gp /memory clinic for weeks they refused to help saying any medication will make him worse falls etc in desperation i started using kalm sleeping tabs which are herbel
    thank god seems to be working 2/3 a night knocks him out now for the night im dreading the time they stop working
     
  8. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,606
    Nottinghamshire
    I’m glad you got a decent night. It makes all the difference! Hopefully the bedtime routine will continue to work @Old bill
     
  9. BryanG2001

    BryanG2001 Registered User

    Mar 2, 2014
    78

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