We are struggling with MIL with apparent early dementia but also heart failure and broken neck (diagnosed after only two weeks living with us and apparently 4+ months old - no treatment). We are pushing her to a 9 pm bed time - largely for us so that we have a break together as we now can't leave her alone and spend much of our time worrying on her behalf about her falling, pulling clothing over her head etc as she has forgotten her time in hospital and doesn't now believe she has broken vertebrae ( neurosurgeon told us in her presence that it was pre terminal and that a slight trauma could kill her). We are taking all precautions such as button up clothes, constant surveillance etc but she has forgotten any conversations. This is very stressful and we need the 2,hours each evening just to spend together as we can't meet friends or go out together without a babysitter but she has no concept of that. We are also genuinely reinforcing the bedtime so that she can take her heart meds early enough in the morning to be safe but do need the time to ourselves. Her life should be so much better now as she had lived alone for the last few months with little company when we were not visiting and was not going out at all but she is getting very combative about early bedtimes and can't seem to get to sleep. Are we wrong to try to protect ourselves too? We are thinking we have to try to get her to go to nearby home for respite without her thinking we are trying to get her into a home, which to be honest we are thinking is the only medium term option for us all to survive :-/