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Becoming Bedbound?

Bazzerbeeza

New member
Apr 2, 2020
3
My first post. My wife is 80 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimers some 3 years ago and I am her carer and until now I/we have been able to cope with her changing condition however, recently she is increasingly anxious to leave the bed. The occasions that she does try, she will get to the end of the bed and say"I can't do this" over and over and get back into bed. It is 14:30 today and she is still in bed. Leading up to this time she increasingly would get anxious and need to go back to bed during the day, it would seem as though this is her safe haven. She is also eating very little but takes regular cups of tea. Has anyone else been in this situation and will it lead to her being bedbound? Your feedback would be most welcome. Thanks. ps her medication is 20mg Memantine and 50mg Sertaline.
 

molly4747

New member
Mar 31, 2020
1
my mother who is 83 spends the majority of her day lying down, cannot do anything for herself. if I bring her up to my house, as i live upstairs to her, she climbs the stairs and walks to front room and lies down on couch all day, never sits. I get photos out for her to look at, she watches tv, she falls asleep, if I suggest taking her out she is all for it, and she enjoys that, even if its just driving around in the car and showing her things, she cannot remember much but always remembers where she used to live, I found that mam is eating less now, I tend to give her sloppy sort of food, but she will eat sandwiches. I insist she sits up at a table before I feed her, mostly to stop her bedclothes getting full of food and spilling food on the floor etc, she basically does as shes told until I leave her. Then she empties cupboards and there is always things moved, she opens her curtains for example every morning. I make sure she has bottles of water to drink when im not there to keep her hydrated. I think maybe you have to lie a little to keep them happy. I never ask her if shes hungry as she always says no im fine. I just make it and put it down to her and she tends to have a go at it. sometimes I think maybe they have forgotten they haven't eaten etc. maybe try and talk her into getting up, as in, come and look at this out the window etc, would you help me find something , she is probably tired, bored, and yes finds it easier to lie there, but if you can try and get her up , maybe say the doctor said you have to walk around the house a little, its very hard and takes up most of your waking day looking after them. my mother today has just put an incontinence pad down the toilet and blocked it all up, with not a care in the world. this is a disease where they don't or cannot make sensible decisions. and you have to think for them. try and keep them moving even if its a little each day, how about a walker, she may feel weak with lying about so much so hasn't got the strength or desire to get up , good luck and take a little time off for yourself sometimes
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,457
N Ireland
Hello @Bazzerbeeza and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for information and support.

Depression and anxiety are common bedfellows of dementia. My wife is treated for these as well as her dementia.

A chat with the GP may get you some help. If you would like to read the Society Factsheet about this issue just click the 2nd line of the following link

Supporting a person with dementia who has depression, anxiety or apathy (444)
PDF printable version

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,082
Yorkshire
That sounds upsetting for both of you. Have you tried calling the memory clinic/gp that prescribed your wifes medication for advise? They may have some advice that might help or decide to up the dosage of sertraline she is on. My mum was given sertraline a couple of months ago after getting increasingly anxious and agitated, she started on 50mg which did help with her agitation and anxiety quite a bit but she was getting very upset, so after the first month it was increased to 100mg and that has helped.
I hope you get some advice help x
 

Bazzerbeeza

New member
Apr 2, 2020
3
Thank you for the replies thus far. I guess boredom may be playing its part. She has gone through the painting, crayoning, jigsaws stage and doesn't recognise anyone on photos any more which doesn't leave us much apart from a bit/lot of TV. My previous getouts were a one to two mile walk somewhere every morning and a drive out most afternoons but due to the C-Virus these are not now possible. We do still have a daily exercise walk around an adjoining field however. Any suggestion most welcome. My big hope is the Sertraline 50mg pills but she has only been taking these for about two weeks so I guess its too soon to see any results yet.
 

Gabriel33

New member
Apr 9, 2020
4
Hi, we have a similar situation with my mum. We try to go with the motto the physiotherapist drummed into us a couple of years ago — use it or loose it but it is a fine balance that changes daily. Some days mum does stay in bed, on others she gets up and sits in a hospital style chair which the community physio gave us-it is high backed with side handles which she grabs onto and it seems to make her feel secure. It is all isolating for her though, as until recently she would be out of her room in the heart of a busy family every day. I do have a suggestion for anyone with a computer and internet. Before the virus we had a sitter twice a week for mum, this lovely lady now Skypes mum for an hour a day; my eldest daughter is also about to start Skyping several times a week and read mum a book. I know not everyone has access to this technology but if you do I can’t recommend it enough and if you don’t I wonder if either Alzheimer support or your local church or community could help? Our local college is lending laptops to young people I would hope that someone could help.
 

Cazzita

Registered User
May 12, 2018
547
Hi, we have a similar situation with my mum. We try to go with the motto the physiotherapist drummed into us a couple of years ago — use it or loose it but it is a fine balance that changes daily. Some days mum does stay in bed, on others she gets up and sits in a hospital style chair which the community physio gave us-it is high backed with side handles which she grabs onto and it seems to make her feel secure. It is all isolating for her though, as until recently she would be out of her room in the heart of a busy family every day. I do have a suggestion for anyone with a computer and internet. Before the virus we had a sitter twice a week for mum, this lovely lady now Skypes mum for an hour a day; my eldest daughter is also about to start Skyping several times a week and read mum a book. I know not everyone has access to this technology but if you do I can’t recommend it enough and if you don’t I wonder if either Alzheimer support or your local church or community could help? Our local college is lending laptops to young people I would hope that someone could help.
That's a really lovely idea :)
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,066
Yorkshire
just to say hello @Gabriel33
a warm welcome to DTP
how brilliant of your mum's sitter and your daughter to have found a way to keep in touch with your mum
 

Gabriel33

New member
Apr 9, 2020
4
just to say hello @Gabriel33
a warm welcome to DTP
how brilliant of your mum's sitter and your daughter to have found a way to keep in touch with your mum
It has worked better with the sitter as my daughter was a bit distressed at how far and fast mum has deteriorated but we also managed part of an Easter service on zoom which was great