1. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    Hello everyone, i have established new thread, will get back later when time permit's...Thanks, best wishes to all carer's
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    Hallo bebee

    Well done you for establishing a new thread. I`m still tagging on to everyone else!

    So sorry you are having such a difficult time with your wife. It`s such a shock when behaviour becomes so irrational and unpredictable.

    I`m finding, with my husband, that it`s best not to get involved in arguements, if that`s at all possible. There is no logic in his discussion, so I`d be fighting a losing battle. Anyway, he`ll have forgotten what he was talking about within 30 minutes.

    Also, if I can, I walk away , go into another room and completely ignore him. This usually works and when he calms down, he comes to look for me.

    The most difficult thing I find, is getting over the upset as quickly as he can. He has forgotten all about it, while I`m still upset.

    You`re in good company. This TP is a life saver. you`ll find many friends in the same position as you. Keep your chin up.

    Grannie G

    PS I`m not usually as positive as this but today is a Good Day!
     
  3. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Bebee
    What Grannie G has said is exactly how I feel about my mum!!!
    many a time I have to walk away and it is incredibly frustrating but remember you're certainly not alone and we're all here to give each other the support we so need....so keep posting and welcome aboard.....
    if I didn't have TP I think I would have lost it altogether by now!!!!
    love
     
  4. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hello bebee,

    so glad you managed to find the new thread, look forward to hearing more from you hope all is ok
    take care
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Sorry Bebee but I have not seen your 'new' thread. However I agreed that to walk away is one of the best ways of coping with potential differences. I was adivsed the 'didum doit' attitude was best and it generally works well for me. However I do agree the difficulty is getting over the upset yourself when your partner as long forgotten. There are occasions when a stern 'ticking off' works well. Michael E has posted on this in the past. Its as if you have to bring them to heel occasionally so that you are just not taken too much for granted.

    All this advice is wonderful but there are days when sheer exhaustion and stress take over from the good intentions we all have.

    However, as has been said previously here, we do learn to cope and different situations keep occurring. The important thing is give yourself some space and time - take advantage of good friends (that is another topic as you really do find out who are the true friends ). We have been very lucky with our local Alz Society and have made many friends in the same situation as ourselves (sad though that is).

    Sorry to ramble - just waiting for my husband to return from day care - he has said he will not go again and I gather that he is only going for assessment - so it will not last long anyway.

    Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  6. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006
    181
    leicestershire
    Hi Bebee,

    Just wanted to say "Hello" and Welcome to TP

    Jarnee
    XXXXXXXXXX
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hi Bebee

    Well done on posting your thread!!!! What is so lovely here is how supportive people are ... I was so new to 'forums' (and still don't understand all the techincal stuff).... but it matters nothing.... we're all here - somehow getting our messages across to each other (and when we find we can't there's always someone to help!!!) trying to help each other through the 'really important' stuff....

    Look forward to hearing from you more.....

    Just wanted to say 'welcome'....

    Love Karen (TF), x
     
  8. Rosalind

    Rosalind Registered User

    Jul 2, 2005
    203
    Wiltshire
    If this site does nothing else, it helps to know others are in the same boat, and have the same feelings. In this thread alone we have had the arguments, which leave me angry and upset hours after husband has forgotten them, and the 'I am not going to day care' which had the potential to be last night's argument, but I have learned about removing myself. I think I am also getting better at exuding something that indicates that all is not hunky dory, as last night for the first time in months he cleared the supper and put stuff in the dishwasher.
    Day care battle looms again now, but someone is coming to take him, and I think I might make myself scarce before that, as his behaviour with other people is always much pleasanter than with me.
     

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