Bebee

bebee.

Registered User
Mar 24, 2006
12
oxon,south.
Hello everyone, i have established new thread, will get back later when time permit's...Thanks, best wishes to all carer's
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,740
Kent
Hallo bebee

Well done you for establishing a new thread. I`m still tagging on to everyone else!

So sorry you are having such a difficult time with your wife. It`s such a shock when behaviour becomes so irrational and unpredictable.

I`m finding, with my husband, that it`s best not to get involved in arguements, if that`s at all possible. There is no logic in his discussion, so I`d be fighting a losing battle. Anyway, he`ll have forgotten what he was talking about within 30 minutes.

Also, if I can, I walk away , go into another room and completely ignore him. This usually works and when he calms down, he comes to look for me.

The most difficult thing I find, is getting over the upset as quickly as he can. He has forgotten all about it, while I`m still upset.

You`re in good company. This TP is a life saver. you`ll find many friends in the same position as you. Keep your chin up.

Grannie G

PS I`m not usually as positive as this but today is a Good Day!
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Hi Bebee
What Grannie G has said is exactly how I feel about my mum!!!
many a time I have to walk away and it is incredibly frustrating but remember you're certainly not alone and we're all here to give each other the support we so need....so keep posting and welcome aboard.....
if I didn't have TP I think I would have lost it altogether by now!!!!
love
 

dmc

Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
1,157
hello bebee,

so glad you managed to find the new thread, look forward to hearing more from you hope all is ok
take care
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Sorry Bebee but I have not seen your 'new' thread. However I agreed that to walk away is one of the best ways of coping with potential differences. I was adivsed the 'didum doit' attitude was best and it generally works well for me. However I do agree the difficulty is getting over the upset yourself when your partner as long forgotten. There are occasions when a stern 'ticking off' works well. Michael E has posted on this in the past. Its as if you have to bring them to heel occasionally so that you are just not taken too much for granted.

All this advice is wonderful but there are days when sheer exhaustion and stress take over from the good intentions we all have.

However, as has been said previously here, we do learn to cope and different situations keep occurring. The important thing is give yourself some space and time - take advantage of good friends (that is another topic as you really do find out who are the true friends ). We have been very lucky with our local Alz Society and have made many friends in the same situation as ourselves (sad though that is).

Sorry to ramble - just waiting for my husband to return from day care - he has said he will not go again and I gather that he is only going for assessment - so it will not last long anyway.

Best wishes Beckyjan
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Hi Bebee

Well done on posting your thread!!!! What is so lovely here is how supportive people are ... I was so new to 'forums' (and still don't understand all the techincal stuff).... but it matters nothing.... we're all here - somehow getting our messages across to each other (and when we find we can't there's always someone to help!!!) trying to help each other through the 'really important' stuff....

Look forward to hearing from you more.....

Just wanted to say 'welcome'....

Love Karen (TF), x
 

Rosalind

Registered User
Jul 2, 2005
203
Wiltshire
If this site does nothing else, it helps to know others are in the same boat, and have the same feelings. In this thread alone we have had the arguments, which leave me angry and upset hours after husband has forgotten them, and the 'I am not going to day care' which had the potential to be last night's argument, but I have learned about removing myself. I think I am also getting better at exuding something that indicates that all is not hunky dory, as last night for the first time in months he cleared the supper and put stuff in the dishwasher.
Day care battle looms again now, but someone is coming to take him, and I think I might make myself scarce before that, as his behaviour with other people is always much pleasanter than with me.
 

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