Be prepared for vulchers.

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by CLAIREDAY, May 12, 2015.


    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    My father's funeral is on Thursday and so far I have had 5 phone calls from people who think they should benefit from his estate.
    They have all claimed they are relatives.
    The wider family is large but I have spoken to somebody who knows the wider family better than me and he does not think these people are relatives.
    My father warned me people could come out of the woodwork when he passes away.
    I suppose there are people about who will try it on knowing a close relative will be upset and they may get something but in my case they have picked on the wrong person.

  2. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    Near Southampton
    Presumably if your father was so aware of this happening, he wrote a Will so the vultures' attempts will be in vain. It is true but sad that this does seem to happen sometimes. Just ignore them if you can.It is shocking that people do this even before the funeral.
  3. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Claire, I am so sorry you lost your Dad, I remember how that feels so well.
    If your Dad made a will, then he'll have named the people he wanted to inherit from his estate, and no amount of pleading can force his executors to change that....they can go whistle! :rolleyes:
    If Dad didn't make a will, there is a particular way the estate gets divided up, have a look at....., for further help.

    Good Luck for Thursday, I hope the sun shines and the memories can be fond. x.
  4. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Goodness me!! Isn't it incredible what some people will try?!

    Hope your dad made a will Claire, so that will be the end of it.

    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    Dad / Mum did make a will.

    Just to let you know Dad / Mum did leave wills and I am the sole beneficiary.
    There is not much except for the house but it is worth about £350,000 so it is a decent inheritance.
    These wills were made over 20 years ago.
    Dad outlived the people I know he thought would try to claim on his estate so this may be a surprise to him.
    If Dad / Mum had not made wills I would have still been the beneficiary as I am the only surviving offspring.

  6. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Good grief, Claire, these people have no morals whatsoever. How despicable of them. Relatives or not, ignore them completely, they are simply not worth your time. If they are relatives but were not there for your mum and dad during their lifetimes then they deserve nothing, certainly not your worrying.

    I hope all goes well on Thursday x
  7. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    i We had this when my mum passed away but they were definitely relatives an aunt and an uncle turned up after clothes, garden stuff etc even was going to dig up pants my sister in law and myself told them were to get off . They said mum had said they could have anything they wanted but i know what my mum thought of her younger sister and no way was they gettig anything .
  8. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    Radcliffe on Trent
    I know you are strong enough to deal with these vultures but hope it helps to know how appalled we are at their disgusting behaviour.

    Actually I think it's insulting to vultures to call them that..they are just horrible humans.

    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    Oddly enough I offered my aunt some of my mother's clothes as they were no use to me and she accepted them.
    Oddly she liked 1 of my mother's coats and wanted to buy one before my mother died but the shop could not get any more. She wanted to pay for it as Mum had only worn it once.
    Basically my aunt only took what was no use to me with my permission which was fair enough.
    Oddly a friend of mine had a lady say that her father had said she could have the house when he died and there were 7 witnesses.
    The house half belonged to the daughter when he was alive and it was willed to her.
    It was fortunate only the written will counted.


    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    Hi Pickles

    Thinking about it you are correct.

  11. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    Whoever is his executor will be legally obliged to carry out his wishes as stated in his Will - I am assuming there is one - and if it excludes vultures then that's that.

    It is possible to make a Deed of Variation, to alter who gets what, but only if all the beneficiaries agree. So I should think that would cook any vultures' goose, too.

    Please do not let any of these people bully, worry or intimidate you.

    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    Hi Witzend.

    I am the executor and the sole benrficiary.

  13. Rheme

    Rheme Registered User

    Nov 23, 2013
    Get tough and treat your dad's possessions as though they were your own (which they are now).

    These people will go to ground once they realise there is nothing to be gained.

    If in doubt consult a lawyer (I know they can be expensive but the can also be invaluable in difficult situations and save a lot of time, stress and heartache).

    Good luck and thinking of you.

    CLAIREDAY Account on hold

    Apr 22, 2015
    Hi Rheme

    I don't think it is worth getting a lawyer in at this stage. Hopefully they do realise that there is no legal requirement for them to have anything from my father's estate. Closer members of the family don't think they are even relatives but they are not 100% sure as the wider family is very large. Nobody is interested in doing a family tree.
    Hopefully if they do consult a solicitor they will be advised that all they are likely to do is to run up a large legal bill and they are unlikely to get anything.
    If they get a solicitor involved I suppose I will have to involve a solicitor but hopefully 1 letter will be sufficient to bring them to a stop.

  15. Yorkshire Girl

    Yorkshire Girl Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    I wish I could say I was shocked but....

    my mum died on Sunday afternoon, and yesterday (Tuesday) morning there was a knock on the door. It was one of my mum's neighbours asking if she could have the electric piano that my mum had. I was so shocked that I said yes, but I'd have to find the transformer and cable. Then this morning just five minutes ago as I was reading this thread I heard something being pushed through the letter box. Silly me, I assumed it was a card from a neighbour but no, it was the same neighbour and the note reads "XXX (her daughter) very interested in piano. I would like a demo please to ensure everything is ok".

    I am so stunned I'm actually laughing

    I'm sending you warm hugs as I totally feel for you, I hope you find the strength to get it all sorted without too much pain.
  16. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    This brings back memories of when I cleared mums house

    Her neighbours were all at the door, one after another, all wanting "a little something" to remember mum by - when offered something of my choice to give.... each one wanted something I wasn't prepared to "let go" usually it was a very valuable item :rolleyes:

    Mum wasn't dead... She had moved to the local care home - if they wanted to remember her that much they could very easily go and visit her :(

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  17. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    My mouth is open as my lower jaw has hit the table reading this. Un-be-lievable behaviour.

    I'd be inclined to drop a note back to her saying you've checked it out and it doesn't seem to be working after all. Sorry and all that.... and hide the cable in case she calls in to check.

    I'd donate it to charity rather than let them have it.

    So sorry to hear about your loss.

    Yours too, Claire. No need to do anything other than apply for probate which is pretty straightforward. Let the vultures do what they want; your dad knew what he was doing when he wrote the will so enjoy your inheritance.
  18. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    You should be stunned at the cheek of it and take corresponding action. My Mum had a great family but one niece phoned me while Mum was in hospital and not yet dead to remind me of the things she liked that Mum said she could have. My mother was inclined to say to everybody who admired something " oh yes, I'll leave it to you in my will". That includes her lovely nose which she was to leave to me!

    As I told this niece when my mother did indeed die she had two daughters and four granddaughters and anyone else would be at the end of the queue! In fact we put Mums youngest sister in charge of all her personal ornaments and items to distribute as she thought best. The niece was placed well down the list for her cheek.
  19. Yorkshire Girl

    Yorkshire Girl Registered User

    Jul 16, 2014
    Thanks folks - I did wonder if I was over-reacting! The only awkward thing is that this neighbour was the one who called me (and subsequently the police and ambulance) when she spotted mum's curtains shut late on Friday morning. (It turned out mum had had a massive stroke and, as I mentioned, she died on Sunday). So I was prepared to cut the neighbour some slack, but this morning's note was just bizarre. My inclination is to tell her the truth, namely that I haven't had chance to look for the cable and it is not top of my list of things to do (strange that!). So if she wants the piano she can take it (and make a donation to charity), but it'll have to be as it is and with no guarantees.

    Sorry for hijacking your thread Claire, take care x
  20. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    Its sad how people can be

    Greed is a terrible thing. When my Papa dies Im happy to say we had a much more positive experience. We wanted all of the immediate family to take something to remember him. It was done without a single cross word. His furniture went to needy pensioner friends of his who were very touched to be remembered. His clothes went to the seamans mission even though it was miles away - He was a on the North Altantic convoys in WW2 and nearly died in torpedo attacks twice.

    When we were done there was a single bin bag of rubbish. Everything else found a home. I still keep my teabags in his biscuit barrel 38 years later which has pride of place in my kitchen. It is old, battered and out of place but is a daily reminder of him.

    I hope the people who loved your Dad show you the same respect. Forget the others and respect his memory in the way you want to.

    Love Quilty

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