BBC

[Thethirdmrsc]

I watched it this afternoon Maryjoan, well done. You are right in what you say. We or rather he, gets attendance allowance but I cannot get carers allowance, and I have given up my full time job, and being 20yrs younger than the OH, still want to do something. I do feel though that it is a bit different here in Scotland, as I can access quite a bit of help. Not always in the more rural areas. But anyway, splendid !

 

[maryjoan]

Watched it on catch up and am impressed with your calmness and eloquence.
Gently said ....powerful feelings. Well done.
Malcolm is a lucky man to have you and your devotion to him. Love that his priority was another game of Scrabble.

After being up at stupid o'clock this morning, nerve wracking TV, I then went into Exeter as I had been asked to speak to a meeting of County Councillors. No car any more so used local Support Group which is very very good. Slight problem was that the driver brought two dogs with her, in a dog cage in the back and one kept. ******* very smelly!!!!! Now completed shattered, and Malcolm has just asked for yet another game of scrabble !!!!!!! - only managed to fit in one game earlier!

 

[nitram]

An interesting thing about carers's allowance and pensions is that pensions other than DWP are ignored as they are not earned income income.
State pensions and carers's .are treated as 'overlapping benefits' and you get the higher of the two, usually the pension.
Deferring state pension is not allowed.

 

[B72]

Well done with it all. Fantastic.

 

[Rolypoly]

Finally managed to watch it. Well done, you came across calm, collected and eloquent. I would have been a rabbit caught in the headlights.

 

[Duggies-girl]

I can't get it today, it says this episode is unavailable.

 

[nitram]

I can't get it today, it says this episode is unavailable.

'Breakfast' only stays available for 24 hours

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/bbc.111657/page-2#post-1574939

 

[Duggies-girl]

'Breakfast' only stays available for 24 hours

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/bbc.111657/page-2#post-1574939

Grrrr

 

[maryjoan]

I suppose it is democracy, that I was able to be on TV - I am not even sure how I managed it, but somehow I had been in touch with Carers UK and it seemed to roll on from there.

All the effort that goes into making our voices heard both on TP and elsewhere by numerous charities just like this one would appear to be wasted in the light of some politicians.

What staggers belief is that we are beating our heads against a brick wall after brick wall when we come up against the prejudices of politicians, who have virtually no knowledge whatsoever of caring, or care in the community - just their budgets.

I live in one of the largest counties in the country, with a very large percentage of elderly people. Yet the Director of Social Care after a Committee Meeting I attended after the TV thing, really, really believes - as do some of his colleagues, that there were only 'a couple of carers who had problems in this county.'

Can we ever be recognised properly, and have justice for ourselves and those we care for, when there are such huge gaps in the knowledge of the people who govern us - who just paper over the cracks - probably again just thinking of their budgets......

What are we to do???????

 

[Grannie G]

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

 

[Rolypoly]

Trouble is people don’t really understand the true situation until they are wearing the carers tshirt. I think they have to experience it to get the true picture, warts and all, and, until they do, they still live in cuckoo land. They also have to experience it from an ordinary person’s perspective, not a rich person’s who can afford to buy whatever care and services they need.

 

[Sad Staffs]

Trouble is people don’t really understand the true situation until they are wearing the carers tshirt. I think they have to experience it to get the true picture, warts and all, and, until they do, they still live in cuckoo land. They also have to experience it from an ordinary person’s perspective, not a rich person’s who can afford to buy whatever care and services they need.

That is so true. I worked for a children’s charity for 20 years, but still I had no real idea what being a carer really meant. It was only when my husband came out of hospital very confused and delusional, something I had never experienced in my life, that caring for him hit me like an intercity express train. We now know he has Alzheimer’s, he is incontinent, can’t put on or take off his pads, and it is like looking after a child. The only difference is that I had more control over my children, and I knew they would grow up. If they had a tantrum I could send them to their bedroom!
Being a full time carer for someone that you love so desperately but who isn’t the person you married and thought you would grow old gracefully with, is so hard and I just feel that I’m not me anymore, nor will I ever be again if things stay as they are. My life is only going to get harder, but for it to get better then I have to lose him.
Whatever.... I lose, because I would rather keep him with me for as long as I can.

 

[maryjoan]

That is so true. I worked for a children’s charity for 20 years, but still I had no real idea what being a carer really meant. It was only when my husband came out of hospital very confused and delusional, something I had never experienced in my life, that caring for him hit me like an intercity express train. We now know he has Alzheimer’s, he is incontinent, can’t put on or take off his pads, and it is like looking after a child. The only difference is that I had more control over my children, and I knew they would grow up. If they had a tantrum I could send them to their bedroom!
Being a full time carer for someone that you love so desperately but who isn’t the person you married and thought you would grow old gracefully with, is so hard and I just feel that I’m not me anymore, nor will I ever be again if things stay as they are. My life is only going to get harder, but for it to get better then I have to lose him.
Whatever.... I lose, because I would rather keep him with me for as long as I can.

Absolutely! I have just made myself go out into the village to a Repair Cafe, had some shears sharpened and a vintage child's dress repaired. I am so glad I went, I spoke to a fair number of people and had conversations that I don't get at home - it's set me up for the weekend I think!!

I still cannot work out just how, or if, we can get the people in power to listen to us - but I will work it out..... xx

 

[B72]

Would it be possible to mobilise every carer in your county to write to the person who said only a few are in a bad position? The local press could be told that they have.

 

[maryjoan]

Would it be possible to mobilise every carer in your county to write to the person who said only a few are in a bad position? The local press could be told that they have.

hi,

I have had an email this afternoon saying that there is to be a 'spotlight review' concerning this issue. I asked what that means and it seems myself and the other carer who was there, will be asked as witnesses to give evidence of the problems as we, the carers, see them. This will be before a panel who will then refer back to County Council with recommendations - so we might be starting the ball rolling in the right direction - fingers crossed.........

 

[nitram]

will be asked as witnesses to give evidence of the problems as we, the carers, see them. This will be before a panel who will then refer back to County Council with recommendations -

Are the elected councillors aware of this panel and do they know your views?

 

[maryjoan]

Are the elected councillors aware of this panel and do they know your views?

It seems it is part of the democratic process within council - I am a novice at these things, but I am learning.....

 

[PalSal]

Not quite sure how this has come about - the lady from CarersUK phoned me yesterday, and now at silly o'clock in the morning, I have 2 BBC chaps in the sitting room setting up a something or other, so I can speak to Louise Minchin on BBC Breakfast!

Caring does seem to go from one extreme to another......

Mary Joan I missed the interview...can you send me a link or something.

 

[B72]

maryjoan, is it possible for a local radio or newspaper to ask carers to let the station/paper know if they are very constrained by ‘caring’?

Then you’d have some figures to take to the meeting. I appreciate this could be hard and that The Carers Association might not want to be involved because of a fear it might affect local funding.

 

[kindred]

hi,

I have had an email this afternoon saying that there is to be a 'spotlight review' concerning this issue. I asked what that means and it seems myself and the other carer who was there, will be asked as witnesses to give evidence of the problems as we, the carers, see them. This will be before a panel who will then refer back to County Council with recommendations - so we might be starting the ball rolling in the right direction - fingers crossed.........

Oh so well done, sweetheart, so proud of you, you are doing such good for all of us. Let me know if I can help. Warmest, with love, Geraldine aka kindred.