Hi All, I have not been on for a long time and want to know if anyone can help. My mum is on a EMI ward and been there for over two and a half years. She has always been a bit difficult with the residents as she is always frightened of them and can be very unpredictable. I am a long time member who has had many problems with my siblings and have cut ties with them completely and only visit my mum. My sister has applied for deputyship (brother tried too but has been in prison so cannot do it) and visited mum 3 times in three years. She lives 20 minutes away and brother lives five minutes away. Mum has had a urine infection due to not washing and bad hygiene and two weeks ago ended up in hospital. The home phoned my brother who was working away so they contacted my sister (probably on his instruction) who met mum in hospital and they never contacted me. When mum was back in the home I visited mum to find her laying on her stomach because she said she is sore. There was blood on her trousers and she smelt bad. I asked the nurse what was happening to be told that mum will not let them take a blood test and will not let the doctors examine her. I said that mum says that the cream hurts when they have showered her before. She last had a shower probably three four months ago by looking at the black clumps between her feet. I got her to agree for me to give her a bath but they said that they do not bath them as they can only shower her. Her hair has not been washed for many months I managed to get her to agree a blood test to be told it was too late in the day to send off. I got her to remove the bloody trousers to find she had no pants on. I have bought her at least thirty pairs and found one pair in her drawer and two which were four times too big that did not belong to her. A carer told me they cannot wash her if she refuses. I went to speak to the manager but office was closed. Mum could not sit up properly to eat as she cannot move her bottom. I asked for a rubber ring to be told they are not allowed to use them anymore! I am so angry and who is telling the truth?? I know that it is easy to walk in her room an ask her to shower and she says no and they walk out again, job done. Do I go direct to her doctors. Before I start to shout out I want to know who is in the wrong.