Barbara Windsor
- Thread starter jknight
- Start date
It's sad that it takes a celebrity or the death of a celebrity to raise the profile of a disease, but the BBC story did contain some sensible information from the Alzheimer's Society and a link to their website, so something positive may come out of the lady's sad demise.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44062921
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44062921
I agree it's sad that it takes that to raise the profile of such a devastating illness, but like you every time anyone connected with the media is able to 'highlight' the problem may hopefully change people's perception and therefore provide better facilities for sufferers.
Barbara is a much loved public figure and I admire the way she and her husband have 'come out' and talked about her illness. There are lots of examples of media people talking on the issue Ruth Langsford about her father and Prunella Scales, two off the top of my head.
I can also think of several actors that have said they will no longer do theatre as they have 'problems remembering lines' and that makes me wonder.
I doubt it will make any difference to services or move the Govt to pledge a huge injection of money but it does make the public take a huge intake of breath and reflect that it can touch anyone and that is perhaps just as important.
I can also think of several actors that have said they will no longer do theatre as they have 'problems remembering lines' and that makes me wonder.
I doubt it will make any difference to services or move the Govt to pledge a huge injection of money but it does make the public take a huge intake of breath and reflect that it can touch anyone and that is perhaps just as important.
Someone famous gets anything and there's a national outpouring of grief, daily people post on here saying their loved one has been diagnosed...where's the justice in that?
If you follow the celebrity culture then OK, I don't the things people say on here are way more meaningful to me mainly because we're just ordinary people facing an extraordinary challenge.
Barbara Windsor has enough money to buy the best care you can get, she won't be LA funded, having to apply for AA or a council tax disregard.
I feel as sorry for her as I do for anyone diagnosed with AZ but just because she's famous doesn't make me anymore or less sorry for her, OK she's famous but her family and friends won't ever have to face some of the challenges carers on here do every day, they can just buy help in.
Emotionally her family will be no different to anyone on here, but they won't be on here posting how they're emotionally broken just trying to care for someone with AZ.
Every diagnosis is just so sad, be that someone famous or not famous, as I say I don't do celebrities so the grief of a bunch of Eastenders fans like she's the first person ever to be diagnosed leaves me a bit cold.
K
If you follow the celebrity culture then OK, I don't the things people say on here are way more meaningful to me mainly because we're just ordinary people facing an extraordinary challenge.
Barbara Windsor has enough money to buy the best care you can get, she won't be LA funded, having to apply for AA or a council tax disregard.
I feel as sorry for her as I do for anyone diagnosed with AZ but just because she's famous doesn't make me anymore or less sorry for her, OK she's famous but her family and friends won't ever have to face some of the challenges carers on here do every day, they can just buy help in.
Emotionally her family will be no different to anyone on here, but they won't be on here posting how they're emotionally broken just trying to care for someone with AZ.
Every diagnosis is just so sad, be that someone famous or not famous, as I say I don't do celebrities so the grief of a bunch of Eastenders fans like she's the first person ever to be diagnosed leaves me a bit cold.
K
Money can make the practical issues go away but the emotional distress is just as painful.
And you have no idea who posts on here, that is the beauty of it that we can be totally honest because no one knows who we are.
FYI I have never seen Eastenders, I am old enough to know she took Kenneth Williams and his mother ( another relationship dogged by AD) on her honeymoon.
And you have no idea who posts on here, that is the beauty of it that we can be totally honest because no one knows who we are.
FYI I have never seen Eastenders, I am old enough to know she took Kenneth Williams and his mother ( another relationship dogged by AD) on her honeymoon.
Yes, I feel sad at Barbara Windsor's diagnosis as I would for any family dealing with a dementia diagnosis but, as has been pointed out, having money does relieve some of the practical difficulties.
What makes me angry are the charity spokespersons (let's not mention the Alzheimer's Society by name) who say "dementia is not a death sentence" and "you can live well with dementia". For some people who are diagnosed early enough that may be true and all strength to them, but I suspect that most people only consider the possibility of dementia when major issues arise with living a normal life. Every day I see a little more of my wife disappear, the politically incorrect description of "long goodbye" is spot on. As for living well, there are 101 reasons why our retirement plans wouldn't work out but I've never considered I would be cleaning the toilet of more wee (and worse) that one person has the right to produce at 5am (I'd let the servants have the night off
).
What makes me angry are the charity spokespersons (let's not mention the Alzheimer's Society by name) who say "dementia is not a death sentence" and "you can live well with dementia". For some people who are diagnosed early enough that may be true and all strength to them, but I suspect that most people only consider the possibility of dementia when major issues arise with living a normal life. Every day I see a little more of my wife disappear, the politically incorrect description of "long goodbye" is spot on. As for living well, there are 101 reasons why our retirement plans wouldn't work out but I've never considered I would be cleaning the toilet of more wee (and worse) that one person has the right to produce at 5am (I'd let the servants have the night off
).
I read the interview that her husband, Scott did for the Sun - I read it online because it caught my eye. It was interesting because he was saying a lot of the things we say on here.
Money is a great comfort when your world is bouncing out of control, but it cannot solve all problems - just makes practical things easier really.
In some respects ( and this sounds daft, I know) I am glad we have no money, and don't even own our home - it certainly will make administration easier when he or I pop our clogs. We both have a small life policy to take care of our funerals and a little bit over for the kids, but otherwise, we have nowt, and its not through being silly with money, it's just been that life throws some hard things at us sometimes, and then crowns it all with his dementia!
Money is a great comfort when your world is bouncing out of control, but it cannot solve all problems - just makes practical things easier really.
In some respects ( and this sounds daft, I know) I am glad we have no money, and don't even own our home - it certainly will make administration easier when he or I pop our clogs. We both have a small life policy to take care of our funerals and a little bit over for the kids, but otherwise, we have nowt, and its not through being silly with money, it's just been that life throws some hard things at us sometimes, and then crowns it all with his dementia!
Lots of wise words above but whatever way you look at it and whatever the relationship to the PWD it is a sad, horrible illness. The living well bit is true in very small experiences if you are able to get out and about making use of all the facilities and services available - if they are available in your area. It is true if you are getting help from family, friends and outside carers which is not emptying your bank balance. It is true if you as carer are healthy and willing and able to do the caring rather than coerced into it.
In short circumstances play a big part in how we get through this and money is not an insignificant factor. Best wishes to Barbara and her husband and to all who are travelling this road.
In short circumstances play a big part in how we get through this and money is not an insignificant factor. Best wishes to Barbara and her husband and to all who are travelling this road.
There have been follow up discussions on breakfast TV etc. It is good to raise awareness but I always have problems with the media almost glamourising the disease as if a bit of recognition is going to make it all better. On the back of the Barbara Windsor announcement, rhere was a lady who sadly has dementia telling everyone how positive she is and how she can go anywhere by herself as her family use a tracking device to help her. She was saying how positivity is the key. It was all so jolly. We know the reality is different. When my mum was first diagnosed we went to dementia cafes and singing for the brain together. She could watch a bit of TV and have some conversation. To be fair we had a positive 2 - 3 years together. However 8 years on we have been through one traumer after another as dementia has advanced and I'm afraid that is the reality. The poo, the screaming for hours, the lack of sleep, the continuous infections, having to go into a Home as I could no longer cope, not eating, not recognising me anymore, doubly incontinent and no longer mobile. The desperation you feel as a carer because there is nothing you can do to take away the pain and suffering from someone you love but really isn't there anymore, knowing there is no way back and the only peace will be in death which could take months even years. The media needs to show what dementia is really like for those who have it and their carers. The portrayal in the media of people apparently getting on with their lives and even finding positive sides isn't helping as it isn't the true picture. Dementia is a relentless treadmill and wears you down however positive you are. Yes, raise awareness but tell the truth.
What impressed me about the announcement wasn`t the celebrity of Barbara Windsor, it was the reason her husband wanted people to know.
He appreciated people were drawn to Barbara and wanted them to know there was a reason behind any inappropriate behaviours or misunderstandings. He hoped they would act accordingly and avoid hurting her.
It was an announcement to try to protect his wife , a truly loving gesture which touched me deeply. It what we all want for our people with dementia, don`t we and might make it easier for all of us to be more upfront about the illness.
He appreciated people were drawn to Barbara and wanted them to know there was a reason behind any inappropriate behaviours or misunderstandings. He hoped they would act accordingly and avoid hurting her.
It was an announcement to try to protect his wife , a truly loving gesture which touched me deeply. It what we all want for our people with dementia, don`t we and might make it easier for all of us to be more upfront about the illness.
Sorry to hear of another person with dementia. It was hard enough for my dad to let people know about mum, so all credit to Barbara Windsor's husband. I feel the same about the 'living well with dementia' as has been mentioned above. Of course in all things we go through it is so much better to have a glass-half-full attitude to life, but media and the organisations supporting people with dementia, need (I think) to avoid sugar-coating, and recognise the depths to which we plunge and the reality for a pwd and their close family in the middle and later stages of this disease.
I agree GrannieG, the love which Scott has for Barbara is so evident, very touching. Seeing her deteriorate will be so difficult, as it is for anyone who cares for a PWD.
While it may be possible to 'live well with dementia' in the early stages, that changes when the dementia is further advanced. From Scott's second interview it sounds as if Barbara is now at the same stage as my mother (late mid-stage) as he said she no longer remembers they are married, she is constantly anxious, and he cannot leave her on her own even for ten minutes. It's getting to the really hard yards for them now, I send them all my good wishes.
While it may be possible to 'live well with dementia' in the early stages, that changes when the dementia is further advanced. From Scott's second interview it sounds as if Barbara is now at the same stage as my mother (late mid-stage) as he said she no longer remembers they are married, she is constantly anxious, and he cannot leave her on her own even for ten minutes. It's getting to the really hard yards for them now, I send them all my good wishes.
It`s best not to generalise when living with dementia.
We had the best four years in the later stages, when my husband was in residential care. By then he had lost insight into his illness and was not as frightened. He welcomed me with every visit and we regained the closeness which had been lost for years.
We had the best four years in the later stages, when my husband was in residential care. By then he had lost insight into his illness and was not as frightened. He welcomed me with every visit and we regained the closeness which had been lost for years.
That's interesting, and lovely to hear. Barbara seems to have been at an anxious stage for a while, from what Scott has said. Maybe that will pass, as you say it's different for everyone.
Well now, I used to contribute to the national press in one of my other lives and I would be willing to tell the truth. The only reason I haven't pitched to write an article about it with no holds barred is simply this. I am afraid it will terrify anyone who is newly diagnosed. Opinions welcome.
There is no justice. I didn't post as a 'fan'. I posted as I hope her diagnosis, and her husband's openess about it will make unaffected people more aware about what we go through, on a daily basis. Sorry if I offended you, kevinl
I'm not in any way offended but my guess that this will only show the good bits and she'll be shown as getting a bit dotty and should she become aggressive, violent, verbally abusive or incontinent none of that will ever make the papers and AZ will again be shown as just a bit of forgetfulness and not the reality so many have to live with.
The whole disease will be sanitised for public consumption which totally undervalues and undermines what so many on here are doing and have been for years, none of the ugly side, should it happen to her will ever get reported.
I appreciate that it wouldn't be fair to her to show her with advanced AZ so it'll come across to many that AZ is just getting a bit confused and not the reality of what it can be like.
K
I can see what you are saying. We haven't reached the advanced stage yet (we are at the scratching until she bleeds, on a daily basis, craing sugar, flooding the bathroom etc) so I guess I was being naive hoping the publicity would help raise awareness. My bad.
