Been there
I've watched Barbara on the news and having listened to what she had to say I found disturbing. I shall not be watching the programme on TV. Two things stood out for me: one she said Alizheimer's kills. That is not my experience, as is evident by my wife. Secondly she talked of telling her husband it was alright 'to let go'.
It brought back memories from four years ago, when I insisted on taking my wife home from the hospital, where they said there was no hope. She was drifting in and out of conscious and drenched with sweat. There's a Sister who works in a local NH living opposite, whom I asked to sit while I went for a Doctor. When the 'Doctor' arrived he remarked: "Is she dying?" "Yes". to which he replied: "At least she's not in pain, there's nothing I can do here". Upset: "Of course she's not in pain, she's unconscous!"
Later that evening I asked for another Doctor who was more compassionate, he advised me not to sit holding her hand over night, "As they often pass away when you go to make a drink or go to the toilet." But I did, and like Barbara told her: "It's OK to let go, you'll be all right I'm here for you, go see your Mum and Dad and Karen, you'll all be togeather again. I'll follow later."
Our daughter told me much later that she never slept that night waiting for the phone call which never came.
Four years and four months on, no one wants to know, out of sight out of mind. Unlike many, I've had more than my share of good fortune and each extra day is a blessing. My only complaint if allowed is, it's tough being a man in a womans' world, but it's enriching. Padraig
