Barbara and Malcolm Pointon

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Brucie, Jul 27, 2007.

  1. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi folks

    I'm putting this post in for here a short time here to point anyone interested to the Raising Awareness thread http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?p=85853#post85853

    There was a really good short piece on Radio 2 today where Barbara Pointon was interviewed about the death of her husband Malcolm.

    Catch it again if you can using the link I provided in Raising Awareness.
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Thank you, Brucie, for this link. I have just heard it and feel a bit too choked up to comment at this stage. Tough but probably important listening for those of us who have to face the ultimate parting.

    Thanks Beckyjan
     
  3. Natashalou

    Natashalou Registered User

    Mar 22, 2007
    426
    london
    I belive there is to be a TV programme on aug 8th?
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Heard the interview Bruce. Will certainly try to view the program on the 8th Aug.

    Anyone who ever watched their story before will need to see this to the end.

    Barbara is one remarkable lady.
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    have to listen to the whole show but does say that its going to show the last Min of his life On TV
     
  6. Natashalou

    Natashalou Registered User

    Mar 22, 2007
    426
    london

    I saw Barbara interviewed this morning, apparantly it is a nice peaceful death.
     
  7. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Yes I did finally get to listen to it , Just that the man at the end of the interview was debating if it should be aired on TV .

    Barbara express her views on that really good I thought .
     
  8. Sunlight

    Sunlight Registered User

    Feb 12, 2007
    55
    I think making this documentary is an extremely selfless and brave thing to do. I'm not sure whether or not I'll have the courage to be able to watch.
     
  9. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    429
    east sussex
    I will be watching the programme i thought Barbara was wonderful in her interview and she had me in tears , as most of what she said i could relate to .my husband also died peacefuly in April this year.

    Cynthia x x
     
  10. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Malcolm and Barbara

    I have watched the recording of their first programme several times, amazed at how much of it I identify with ...... I will want to see the 'sequel', however painful it will be. Perhaps Barbara's bravery will rub off on us a bit? Sometimes, when the going gets tough (tougher), the thought of someone else having been there/done that/survived it gives me the resolve to battle on and count my blessings (of which there are many!).
     
  11. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Lionel & I watched the first recording together...........it was early on in Lionel's diagnosis, and as he researched his own illness, this video came up.

    Remember Barbara saying once that she was upset that they did not continue filming as she was told, about that time, that Malcolm only had months to live.

    He went on to live another 8 years. As my dear Lionel is now in a very similar stage to what Malcoln was in 1999 I wonder what his future will be.

    I shall watch, and record the program. Agree with you Nan, perhaps Barbara's bravery will rub off.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,642
    Kent
    It doesn`t need to rub off on you Connie. You`ve got it in bucketloads.

    Love xx
     
  13. Gill W

    Gill W Registered User

    Jan 31, 2007
    190
    Co. Durham
    I second that.

    Gill
    xx
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,642
    Kent
    There was an item about the progrmme on BBC early evening news. We were watching together and I froze.

    I couldn`t look at Dhiren, I felt so uncomfortable.

    The news continued, and when it ended he said `How wonderful, an 8 month old baby had a heart transplant.`

    Was this selective viewing?
     
  15. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Sylvia, I remember the days only too well when I felt I needed to protect my husband from any mention of Alzheimer's / Dementia etc. Yet another bit of extra stress we could do without. Thankfully, most of the time he either did not pick up on it or simply chose to ignore it .....

    I am very sad that the extensive media attention (which I thought was a good thing, as it helped to raise awareness) has now turned this whole issue into such a controversy. I am puzzled that Malcolm's own brother should have made such a public statement, and I feel sorry for Barbara, who seems to be piggy-in-the middle.
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,642
    Kent
    Hi Nan,

    We speak about Alzheimers and he accepts he has it, up to a point, but I don`t want him to see how he will become.

    I too feel sorry for Barbara. Once you lose control and it`s in the hands of others, there`s no knowing what can happen.
     
  17. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Anything that spreads news of what has become "our world" has to be good.

    So sad that we have to watch almost in secrect (thankgoodness for recorders).
    Do we really want to know?.................No, if we are really being honest.

    YES..........because we need to know.

    Sending my love to all out there tonight.
     
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    I'm afraid I blame ITV. I have a copy of their press release (given to me by the reporter yesterday), and it clearly says 'Barbara strokes his head as he passes away'.

    The brother didn't actually make a public statement, he sent an email to radio 4 after they quoted the press release. Radio 4 checked with ITV, and they decided to amend their release.

    I agree that Barbara was in a very awkward position. When she realised what ITV was saying, was she to contradict them, or go along with it? I wonder if she was given the chance to vet the release.

    It has put her in a terrible position now, because people don't know if she was in on the deception. It's such a pity they didn't tell the truth from the beginning, it has cast doubt on what was a very brave act on Barbara's part. She must be devastated.
     
  19. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Do we really want to know?.................No, if we are really being honest.

    YES..........because we need to know.


    How right you are Connie
     
  20. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    #20 Brucie, Aug 2, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2007
    I'm in two minds about the way the forthcoming programme was presented.

    1. bad marketing

    There is so much bending of truth these days on TV, in the papers, telling of half-truths, and so on - that this is not a one-off.

    ITV should not have done it. It was not necessary.

    The film producer says he was doing other things and didn't know it was done. I find that hard to believe. When one spends 11 years filming someone like this, I reckon the person doing it would be most interested in the way it is presented and ultimately shown. However, the man is a film producer - perhaps he was away on another job.

    Barbara, I'm sure, was trying to help ITV. Once they had published the untruth, she would have felt that it would detract from her story and Malcolm's had she said "that is not true"; she might also have felt she would be ungrateful to do so.

    Goodness knows, it is hard enough to get anyone to put dementia material on TV - why bite the hand of the one that does.

    For my part, I think in Barbara's position, I'd have tried to find some way to weasel out of agreeing that Malcolm's death had been filmed. However, in reality, any good reporter [and certainly Jeremy Vine, and the Today team in the morning are certainly that] would have spotted it and then concentrated solely on did he- didn't he?

    By going along with it, a day or more of good coverage and discussion and visibility was had.

    .... also by going along with it, we all had a second day [and more] of additional coverage.

    2. something positive out of every mishap

    The row has put the story in the news, and on the front pages once again.

    On yesterday's Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 , the producer was on air.
    [listen again, first half hour of http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/main...adio/aod/radio2_aod.shtml?radio2/r2_vine_wed]
    He made a good case for his side of the story, that he did not know about the marketing that had been done. I chose to believe him.

    He also said clearly - the first time I have heard it put so bluntly - that a diagnosis of Alzheimer's is a death sentence. In my view anything that gets the public away from believing that dementia is just forgetfulness [where's my keys?] has to be good.

    Without the row, I don't believe the producer would have been on air.

    To be truthful, I was also pleased to hear him say that a point came when he felt the family should be left alone to care for the last days of Malcolm.
     

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