Bank card

[Little moth]

My husband has lost a lot of logic, everyday things are becoming hard for him to understand. But at times he seems more alert. He has always put his bank card in his wallet but now he puts it with his bus pass in his phone cover. Most of the time I am with him but occasionally we get on a bus, which he likes, and likes to show his bus pass himself, but now there is his bank card there.
He worries over money, likes me to regularly show him the online bank statement, and knows what we have. However, it has been a challenging time and recently, he went for a long walk to a relative's house, 9.30pm. I had called the police, he didn't know me but has now had his medication changed.
He seems to know me now but I am not sure if he accepts me as his wife, I think he may do.
If I take the card away he is likely to get very angry, but if he did lose his card and I didn't notice straight away I know it could be used for contactless purchases
. I have LPA, it has been seen by our bank, a joint a/c and I am worried about opening a can of worms if I get in touch with the bank. Any advice please.

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Hi @Little moth why not try giving him a pre paid card, and just say that it’s a new one issued by the bank? There is a dementia card called Sibstar, not quite sure of the exact details but it was in the Alzheimer’s magazine. You load the card, so you can control how much. It gives them a bit of independence.

 

[Cazcaz]

You can have cards WITHOUT the contactless, just ask the bank. Put a daily withdraw/spend limit on too.

 

[Little moth]

Thank you for your replies, some good suggestions.

 

[Lawson58]

We only have debit cards and I never keep a lot of money in the current account. So two things, my husband is limited by how much money he can access and if he lost it, then no one is going to have access to much money either.

 

[Little moth]

I have reduced the amount of money he/someone could access from the account and persuaded him to let me put the card in a safe place. How long that will last I don't know. The bank said they couldn't put a limit on what he could access.
His attention has turned to his new phone, that's another story.

 

[silkiest]

Hi @Little moth, a lot of banks now have special advisers to help with POA. My parents are with Lloyds bank and whatever reason I need to ring for I tend to say "Power of Attorney" as the reason and I always get a senior advisor and more quickly than the normal help channels. I would ask to speak to a senior advisor as to how the bank will help you deal with the situation. Its not true that the bank cannot put a daily limit - they can but don't choose to. If they won't cooperate you could always cancel the card but leave it with your husband and make sure he has some money in his wallet for immediate needs.
I have put in a formal complaint to Nationwide Building Society as they will not let me have a POA card for mum in laws account. She still manages to buy bits and pieces with her card so I don't want to stop it, but they will only allow one card per account which means I cannot order things online that she needs. I know all banks deal with things differently and I'm seriously considering changing to a different bank
All your utilities, insurance etc need to be set up in joint names if they are not at the moment so you can deal with things as everything progresses.

 

[Female1952]

Take away the bank card and give him a prepaid card. I got one for myself (never used it) and one for my PWD as additional cardholder. I kept it topped up to £200.
It was very useful because my PWD was 100 miles away and if she couldn't be contacted I could at least see online that she'd, for example, spent £10.52 in the corner shop 30 minutes ago.
It was useful for a while.

 

[spandit]

You can have cards WITHOUT the contactless, just ask the bank. Put a daily withdraw/spend limit on too.

My father's card is not contactless, which is a pain as he has to get a carer to enter his PIN, which he normally speaks out very loudly. I've tried getting a new one but every time they send one through, it's non contactless. I have my own card, linked to his account, that is contactless so I know they can issue them (Lloyds)

 

[Little moth]

Thank you for your suggestions, he hasn't mentioned the card since I put it away. He forever wants to charge up his new phone instead.

 

[canary]

Thank you for your suggestions, he hasn't mentioned the card since I put it away. He forever wants to charge up his new phone instead.

Im afraid that is typical - you manage to break one obsession and it is just replaced by another
At least that one is fairly safe

 

[MaNaAk]

Also have you filled in a Herbert Protocol form for her wandering?

MaNaAk

 

[Cazcaz]

Also have you filled in a Herbert Protocol form for his wandering?

MaNaAk

I’ve not heard of this MaNaAk. What is it please?

 

[MaNaAk]

It's a form that the Alzheimer's Society sent to me after dad walked up the road at 4.30 am in the middle of winter. I will look it out for you if I've still got it (dad passed away in June 2019). It's a form that fill out with all the PWDs known haunts in case they disappear.

MaNaAk

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Cazcaz
this is the Met page re Herbert Protocol

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/missing-person/missing-persons/vulnerable-people-at-risk-of-going-missing/dementia-missing-risk-herbert-protocol/

 

[MaNaAk]

Dear @Cazcaz,

I've found it and it can be obtained from your local police station.

MaNaAk

 

[Cazcaz]

@MaNaAk @Shedrech thank you so much. This is a genius idea. So simple, yet brilliant. I’d not even heard of it.

In my case, mum’s mobility is not great, but she does have a rollator to use, add in a good bus service and anything is frighteningly possible.

 

[MaNaAk]

@MaNaAk @Shedrech thank you so much. This is a genius idea. So simple, yet brilliant. I’d not even heard of it.

In my case, mum’s mobility is not great, but she does have a rollator to use, add in a good bus service and anything is frighteningly possible.

That's okay @Cazcaz. I remember on that awful day the neighbours couldn't get hold of myself, one brother lived two hundred miles away and another brother wouldn't come so the neighbours called the paramedics. The paramedics must have notified the Alzheimers Society who informed me of Herbert Protocol all these people were excellent and I will never forget them.

MaNaAk