Following recent OT assessment it was agreed that mum should have a Yale lock fitted to her main entrance door. Aside from concerns about whether she remembered to lock her door at night, I reported the increasing frequency of my arriving at various times during the day to find her fast asleep - door unlocked and anyone able to wander in ...... (even if she wasn't asleep she is one frail and vulnerable lady).
I confess I was jittery about how she might manage a change (never had a Yale lock in 40+years) but accepted the risk of her locking herself out occassionally was nothing compared to leaving herself so exposed to potential intruders .......
I was not prepared for the effect it had today.
It was so painfully obvious that such a simple mechanism and / or a simple change completely flustered her. I demonstrated the lock several times before going off to run errands - primarily getting 'spares' cut for neighbours. I could see she wasn't happy - and when she announced - "Well, I'm not sure - I think I'll just leave the door open all the time" didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead of minimizing risk had I actually increased it?
Returned, armed with bright ribbon to make a 'necklace' for her new key, laminated pictures and notes to stick around the door (as suggested by OT) to find her pacing up and down hysterically, believing herself to be imprisoned. In floods of tears she told me how she had even tried to get out of the rear door (seldom used) but couldn't remember where the keys were for the security locks on that one .....
I have left her calm - after several cups of tea and 'practice runs' .... (and she likes the colour of the ribbon! ) ... rung ahead to buddy who will pick her up tomorrow for daycare, spoken to OT who is going to visit and help 'promote' her new 'gadget' but I am left with a horrible feeling ......
In trying to promote her physical safety in independent living - I feel I have reinforced the message that she is not safe - cannot be trusted to remember to lock her door .... made her feel 'stupid' (she used that word herself) because she cannot manage a simple new task .......
Oh dear, Karen, x
I confess I was jittery about how she might manage a change (never had a Yale lock in 40+years) but accepted the risk of her locking herself out occassionally was nothing compared to leaving herself so exposed to potential intruders .......
I was not prepared for the effect it had today.
It was so painfully obvious that such a simple mechanism and / or a simple change completely flustered her. I demonstrated the lock several times before going off to run errands - primarily getting 'spares' cut for neighbours. I could see she wasn't happy - and when she announced - "Well, I'm not sure - I think I'll just leave the door open all the time" didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead of minimizing risk had I actually increased it?
Returned, armed with bright ribbon to make a 'necklace' for her new key, laminated pictures and notes to stick around the door (as suggested by OT) to find her pacing up and down hysterically, believing herself to be imprisoned. In floods of tears she told me how she had even tried to get out of the rear door (seldom used) but couldn't remember where the keys were for the security locks on that one .....
I have left her calm - after several cups of tea and 'practice runs' .... (and she likes the colour of the ribbon! ) ... rung ahead to buddy who will pick her up tomorrow for daycare, spoken to OT who is going to visit and help 'promote' her new 'gadget' but I am left with a horrible feeling ......
In trying to promote her physical safety in independent living - I feel I have reinforced the message that she is not safe - cannot be trusted to remember to lock her door .... made her feel 'stupid' (she used that word herself) because she cannot manage a simple new task .......
Oh dear, Karen, x