Hello all
Went to see mum at weekend (she's early AD/VaD). I'm trying to keep any eye on things for her from a distance and it's wearing me out. I have an (unregistered) EPA and have used it in anger against her BS book/account. Am leaving her bank account until she's a bit further down the road as I don't want to take away this little bit of independence. Things came to a head over the weekend as she's been awarded AA and, possibly, pension credit in due course. I asked for this to be paid into her bank account as all her bills are paid from there. But they paid it into her pension instead. Trouble is, she's not been going to pick up her pension but has been drawing large amounts from bank account so she was quite overdrawn. I suggested to her that we get all her pension paid into bank account instead of post office; that way I can keep a closer eye on things. Lordy, lordy! It was the wrong thing to say.
She denies going to the bank. Denies drawing money. Says she can handle her finances. That I'm taking away her independence. Then to make things even more surreal, when I went to the post office and explained to the lovely people in there that I was planning close the account, I got it in the neck from them (in a nice way); that they keep an eye on her etc etc. I can see their point - and mum's in that the PO is nearer for her to access a bit of cash. The problem is she's not accessing, but keeps going to the bank all the time! As all her bills are paid out from this account, we could reach a stage where the bank refuse to pay the DDs. I feel so frazzled with all this.
I've shown mum her bank statements, but she disagrees with them! Is she going back into her past a bit more now in terms of her previous routines when she says she regularly tops up her bank account with her pension? She hasn't paid anything in since February (I have when I've found money which she's not got round to dealing with). She seemed more confused this weekend at some points and then completely lucid. I'm sick of explaining things until I'm blue in the face. I only want what's best for her and yet I've been left to feel like the villain of the piece.
Drove back about 85mph whilst I churned it all over in my head and feel low, cheesed off, emotionally drained and wonder whether I was flashed by a speed camera!
Sorry for self-pitying rant! Suppose I'm just seeking reassurance; at one point I felt I was drifting into the abyss. Probably the umpteenth time I explained to her about her cash withdrawals in between mopping up the other little pockets of chaos that greeted me,
Went to see mum at weekend (she's early AD/VaD). I'm trying to keep any eye on things for her from a distance and it's wearing me out. I have an (unregistered) EPA and have used it in anger against her BS book/account. Am leaving her bank account until she's a bit further down the road as I don't want to take away this little bit of independence. Things came to a head over the weekend as she's been awarded AA and, possibly, pension credit in due course. I asked for this to be paid into her bank account as all her bills are paid from there. But they paid it into her pension instead. Trouble is, she's not been going to pick up her pension but has been drawing large amounts from bank account so she was quite overdrawn. I suggested to her that we get all her pension paid into bank account instead of post office; that way I can keep a closer eye on things. Lordy, lordy! It was the wrong thing to say.
She denies going to the bank. Denies drawing money. Says she can handle her finances. That I'm taking away her independence. Then to make things even more surreal, when I went to the post office and explained to the lovely people in there that I was planning close the account, I got it in the neck from them (in a nice way); that they keep an eye on her etc etc. I can see their point - and mum's in that the PO is nearer for her to access a bit of cash. The problem is she's not accessing, but keeps going to the bank all the time! As all her bills are paid out from this account, we could reach a stage where the bank refuse to pay the DDs. I feel so frazzled with all this.
I've shown mum her bank statements, but she disagrees with them! Is she going back into her past a bit more now in terms of her previous routines when she says she regularly tops up her bank account with her pension? She hasn't paid anything in since February (I have when I've found money which she's not got round to dealing with). She seemed more confused this weekend at some points and then completely lucid. I'm sick of explaining things until I'm blue in the face. I only want what's best for her and yet I've been left to feel like the villain of the piece.
Drove back about 85mph whilst I churned it all over in my head and feel low, cheesed off, emotionally drained and wonder whether I was flashed by a speed camera!
Sorry for self-pitying rant! Suppose I'm just seeking reassurance; at one point I felt I was drifting into the abyss. Probably the umpteenth time I explained to her about her cash withdrawals in between mopping up the other little pockets of chaos that greeted me,