I don't know where to start.
A lot of you on TP will have read about my 'in-law dilemas' .. and I've just had another BAD visit from MIL.
I've been trying my best to 'involve/keep' them informed of 'our situation' so as not to upset them .... but it appears that in doing so I've 'upset' quite a few people along the way.
I've recently been trying to hold things together with my husbands 'increasing violent' behavior ... and I've told the family so.
I've NOT told them ... expecting any 'sympathy' .... BUT just to let them all know what I am having to 'deal' with.
(GP is contacting the hospital doctors do they can review his current medication).
MIL's answer was that she once had a friends husband who became violent when hungry ... so ALL I have to do is feed him !!
SIL 's comment was...
"I don't see what the problem is .... all you have to do is kick his stick out of your way... make him fall over so you can run away!!'
(She said this all laughingly).
(He's had multiple strokes for those of you who do not already 'know'
..... and if he fell over there is NO CHANCE of him getting up !!).
I said that he has 'grabbed and hurt' me when he has been sitting down .....
complete silence ... then....... change of conversation........
MIL has been on the RANT again about hubby going out to do 'something'.. you know a course or something...
She does not like the fact that most of the day he is sat 'doing nothing'.
She does NOT want to EVER hear me say AGAIN that he has 'memory problems' ... it's no excuse !!!
It does him NO GOOD what so ever to hear me say these things.. and in fact I'm probably making things worse !!
I've told her that I've been in touch with the memory co-ordinator at the centre that we have attended in the past, and she says that she does not think that she has anything suitable for us to go to... at the moment.
MIL says that this is not good enough ... and we should attend anyway.
Course numbers are limited anyway ... and there really does seem no point, when he has already done an 'identical one'.
MIL wants to see us go out 'every day' !!
I've explained that when we do 'go out' he is ALWAYS so frustrated / disorientated / angry / upset / unsettled / lost / +++
when we return... that it takes DAYS for him to settle again...
BUT this is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
If we were to go out every day ... he would not be this way !!
On another note...
How can I make my husband believe me when he starts on at me about losing/selling/stealing 'things' .... when we NEVER HAVE had them in the first place ? !!
How do you PROVE something like that?
I've spent a weekend 'defending myself' ....
He's spent the weekend believing I've lost / stolen / sold belongings that we have NEVER HAD !!!
I should be a rich women by now ... according to him !!
Any thoughts out there?
Also, news on my mum...
I thought a few weeks ago that this was going to the 'the end' for my mum.. the VERY week that I had my FIRST respite ....
Well, it looks pretty grim at the moment...
She's refusing to see anyone... and has stopped eating etc... for days...
Husband still can't 'remember from day to day that she is in hospital'....
Thought I'd share things with you all....
Take Care
DaisyG
A lot of you on TP will have read about my 'in-law dilemas' .. and I've just had another BAD visit from MIL.
I've been trying my best to 'involve/keep' them informed of 'our situation' so as not to upset them .... but it appears that in doing so I've 'upset' quite a few people along the way.
I've recently been trying to hold things together with my husbands 'increasing violent' behavior ... and I've told the family so.
I've NOT told them ... expecting any 'sympathy' .... BUT just to let them all know what I am having to 'deal' with.
(GP is contacting the hospital doctors do they can review his current medication).
MIL's answer was that she once had a friends husband who became violent when hungry ... so ALL I have to do is feed him !!
SIL 's comment was...
"I don't see what the problem is .... all you have to do is kick his stick out of your way... make him fall over so you can run away!!'
(She said this all laughingly).
(He's had multiple strokes for those of you who do not already 'know'
..... and if he fell over there is NO CHANCE of him getting up !!).
I said that he has 'grabbed and hurt' me when he has been sitting down .....
complete silence ... then....... change of conversation........
MIL has been on the RANT again about hubby going out to do 'something'.. you know a course or something...
She does not like the fact that most of the day he is sat 'doing nothing'.
She does NOT want to EVER hear me say AGAIN that he has 'memory problems' ... it's no excuse !!!
It does him NO GOOD what so ever to hear me say these things.. and in fact I'm probably making things worse !!
I've told her that I've been in touch with the memory co-ordinator at the centre that we have attended in the past, and she says that she does not think that she has anything suitable for us to go to... at the moment.
MIL says that this is not good enough ... and we should attend anyway.
Course numbers are limited anyway ... and there really does seem no point, when he has already done an 'identical one'.
MIL wants to see us go out 'every day' !!
I've explained that when we do 'go out' he is ALWAYS so frustrated / disorientated / angry / upset / unsettled / lost / +++
when we return... that it takes DAYS for him to settle again...
BUT this is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
If we were to go out every day ... he would not be this way !!
On another note...
How can I make my husband believe me when he starts on at me about losing/selling/stealing 'things' .... when we NEVER HAVE had them in the first place ? !!
How do you PROVE something like that?
I've spent a weekend 'defending myself' ....
He's spent the weekend believing I've lost / stolen / sold belongings that we have NEVER HAD !!!
I should be a rich women by now ... according to him !!
Any thoughts out there?
Also, news on my mum...
I thought a few weeks ago that this was going to the 'the end' for my mum.. the VERY week that I had my FIRST respite ....
Well, it looks pretty grim at the moment...
She's refusing to see anyone... and has stopped eating etc... for days...
Husband still can't 'remember from day to day that she is in hospital'....
Thought I'd share things with you all....
Take Care
DaisyG