Bad Weekend... tears ..... need hug!!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by DaisyG, Jul 17, 2006.

  1. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    183
    North West England
    Thanks..

    Yes, our GP is quite good .... easy to talk to ... sympathetic...
    Actually, ALL of his doctors and nurses are .. and their long suffering secretaries !!

    The in - laws have 'been asked' from the beginning to be involved... and NEVER have.

    Right back when he had his FIRST stroke ... and I was arranging for him to come home.. you know how the docs and team 'arrange a case conference' ...


    NOT one of them could 'be bothered' to come along and involve themselves....


    A LOT ( though not all) ... have seen a lot of the letters from the hospital.... so they really DO KNOW what is going on .... BUT ....
    Hay.... nothing is really ' that ' wrong....


    MIL saw recently the referral to the BUDDY SERVICE (it's the Age Concern Service for people and their families with dementia).
    TOLD ME NOT TO SEND IT OFF
    ... well... had a call this week... and the co-ordinator is going to be visiting us at the end of the month....

    I 'mentioned ' this to MIL .... and there was complete SILENCE .....
    (you could 'see the wheels working'....... and I was on the phone !!).......
    Then DENIAL ... that I had showed her the referral form .

    God help me ..... the next time I see her... what she will say to me / us face to face.....?

    She really DOES NOT like ANYONE else being involved in our care....
    no carers... no crossroads... NO ONE !!!

    Any way,

    Isn't it good news about BUDDY .....?


    Take Care Everyone....

    DaisyG
     
  2. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Daisy

    I think Helena has the right idea although I understand Brucies view that you are a carer. In your position I would walk out and tell the ILs to call me when they are prepared to back me up. It is very difficult unless you are a cussed old sod like me. Some way the ILs need to have their noses rubbed in the mire you are in for them to appreciate the reality of the situation. Something must change otherwise you will crack-up which would be the worse case resolution to the problem. Remember what I believe to be the first rule of careing - without a fit, healthy and emotionally sound carer all is lost.

    Do take care, you are in my thoughts.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  3. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Yup ......I am bolshie and not prepared to put up with c**p and certainly see no reason for Daisy to be put through this

    Its easier in a way for me because my Mother and I have never been close and she has always tried unsuccessfully to drive a wedge between me and my sister

    But also I was put through hell by a family member 20 yrs ago and became very ill as a result so i have learnt that my health is to be protected at all cost

    Sometimes it takes an outsider to be able to see the bigger picture

    Daisy needs to get tough and say to the ILs

    Put up or shut up

    They either accept the truth and pitch in NOW on an unbreakable rota or she never speaks to them again

    I am sure she does not need the expense of even the phone calls
     

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