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Bad toilet habits

Zcat

New member
Aug 30, 2019
9
Hi all 🙋‍♀️
I’m really struggling with my mum’s toilet habits.
Partly she is incontinent, but also that if she does recognise that she needs to go, she can’t get there in time.
I buy her disposable pull ups and mats for bed and chair, but she will forget to put them on. A commode will be delivered this week but I’m not convinced she will remember to use it.
I’m struggling with the cleaning. It’s a constant battle. I use a Vax cleaner but it’s still not good enough. The house smells awful. Mum is oblivious. I’m awaiting contact from the continence nurse.

Any recommendations for cleaning products or how I can keep my sanity?

Thanks
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,889
South coast
I use spray cleaner/neutraliser intended for pet accidents which seems to work well with the smell. Dr Beckman works well for getting stain marks out of fabrics, but I dont find it gets rid of the smell so well.

I also have hard floors, rather than carpet, downstairs and I use a steam mop over them regularly. I dont think my home smells, but then I am home with OH all day and can clean up as soon as I discover a problem.

Re the forgetting to wear the pull-ups: your mum will not remember any new instructions, unfortunately. I know that some people have had success with removing all their ordinary underwear and replacing them with the pull-ups
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,950
Chester
I had a very elderly dog, with 2 years worth of accidents, only urine.

We found Flash pet worked as a cleaning product for this, pouring it neat onto the carpet and then sponging off, removing both the smell and preventing any staining. Other things we tried such as vinegar, removed the smell but not the staining. It only worked when it was neat. We did try to minimise the dog's presence in carpeted rooms. We had large quantities of washable old towels to assist in cleaning and drying areas.

I used the towels to clear the excess liquid up but they do need rinsing then before going in the machine otherwise everything comes out smelling of wee. (I learnt this the hard way when my son took a long time to be dry at night - inherited from his father). So I had to rinse all his bedding that was really wet before I washed it.
 

Zcat

New member
Aug 30, 2019
9
Hmm 🤔 ok, thanks, that’s food for thought. I may as well give it a go as I’ve tried most things!
 

Up the Creek

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
47
East Anglia
Hi @Zcat,

I agree with @canary, remove all knickers so she only has the pull ups to wear, unless she prefers to go commando!

I didn’t find water proof seat pads much use on our sofa/chair as they didn’t stay in place so I cover the seat cushion with a terry towelling waterproof mattress cover and then cover it all with a throw so any damp patches are easily taken up and into the washing machine without anything getting through to the sofa/chair cushions. I can whip off the covers, put on replacements and mum is none the wiser and the protection is very discreet.

I use a terry towelling mattress protector on her bed under the fitted bottom sheet and this has been sufficient so far.

I have a sensitive nose and have tried quite a few different sprays but most seem to mask the smell and not eliminate it. The one that works best for me is a deodorant and urine neutraliser by Sanex. I did an internet search on products used in nursing homes and it’s one of the ones that popped up.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,889
South coast
BTW, when trying to get the smell out of washable stuff like bedding I have discovered that putting zoflora in with the wash and. once the washing cycle has started, pause it for 15 mins, then carry on.

I expect other laundry disinfectant works too.
 

JenK

New member
Oct 29, 2020
1
Hi All,
I just noticed the bad toilet habits post as I was scrolling on here for some advice and the subject is exactly what I’m needing support with.
My dad has dementia, like most has massively deteriorated in lockdown so I have temporarily moved in with my parents ‘bubble’ to help out.
We don’t have any home help/ support nurses etc as my dad seemed okay a few weeks . . . Yet :/
However, in the past couple of weeks toilet habits have gone bad without any warning signs (I guess there wouldn’t be any :/) and my dad is now on a daily basis not making the toilet in time, or if he does make it, then weeing etc with his underwear still on, but oblivious to it when trying to tell him.
We’ve bought some of the male nappy type underwear and is even more so now not going to the actual toilet, although I don’t think he understands he’s wearing the supportive underwear. . . My mum is actually going insane, I’m trying to calm things down but we don’t know what to do!?
The washing machine is forever on and we’re now in a constant cycle.
Any support with this would be greatly appreciated as nowhere seems to call back ?

jen
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,889
South coast
Im afraid that when dementia reaches a certain stage, incontinence is the norm, so Im afraid that wearing pads and having them regularly changed becomes a way of life.. Is your dad wearing the pull-up pants? You say that the washing machine is always on, so there is obviously some problem. Can you explain what is happening eg - are you getting leaks around the pull-ups?
 

Sablecor

New member
Oct 29, 2020
1
Buffalo, NY
Hi all 🙋‍♀️
I’m really struggling with my mum’s toilet habits.
Partly she is incontinent, but also that if she does recognise that she needs to go, she can’t get there in time.
I buy her disposable pull ups and mats for bed and chair, but she will forget to put them on. A commode will be delivered this week but I’m not convinced she will remember to use it.
I’m struggling with the cleaning. It’s a constant battle. I use a Vax cleaner but it’s still not good enough. The house smells awful. Mum is oblivious. I’m awaiting contact from the continence nurse.

Any recommendations for cleaning products or how I can keep my sanity?

Thanks
I did remove all of my moms regular underwear and put all of the incontinence panties in that drawer – which worked out very well. I also bought a heavy duty but pretty garbage can for the bathroom so that no smell comes out of the can. This also worked very well and there is no smell of urine in the house anymore. I always use Lysol spray too!
I too have washable pads on bed and all sitting areas with chair covers on top. We wash them every few days-but rarely affected anymore with disposable panties. ( which by the way she puts on first thing in morning and another at bedtime)...Of course a wipeable mattress protector is helpful too with pad on top. “Panties”- Chair pads-mattress protector and garbage can have completely gotten this component of her dementia under control. Especially removing cloth panties- she adapted quickly!
 
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Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,349
Hi All,
I just noticed the bad toilet habits post as I was scrolling on here for some advice and the subject is exactly what I’m needing support with.
My dad has dementia, like most has massively deteriorated in lockdown so I have temporarily moved in with my parents ‘bubble’ to help out.
We don’t have any home help/ support nurses etc as my dad seemed okay a few weeks . . . Yet :/
However, in the past couple of weeks toilet habits have gone bad without any warning signs (I guess there wouldn’t be any :/) and my dad is now on a daily basis not making the toilet in time, or if he does make it, then weeing etc with his underwear still on, but oblivious to it when trying to tell him.
We’ve bought some of the male nappy type underwear and is even more so now not going to the actual toilet, although I don’t think he understands he’s wearing the supportive underwear. . . My mum is actually going insane, I’m trying to calm things down but we don’t know what to do!?
The washing machine is forever on and we’re now in a constant cycle.
Any support with this would be greatly appreciated as nowhere seems to call back ?

jen
Timing, timing, timing.
Every couple of hours, sit on the loo, just in case, shuffling around, sit on the loo, just before/after a meal, on the loo....
Much the same as potty training a toddler, only it's going backwards.

Bod
 

Zcat

New member
Aug 30, 2019
9
Timing, timing, timing.
Every couple of hours, sit on the loo, just in case, shuffling around, sit on the loo, just before/after a meal, on the loo....
Much the same as potty training a toddler, only it's going backwards.

Bod
 

Zcat

New member
Aug 30, 2019
9
Hey Bod
Yes, that seems logical , and I do when I’m with her. However, I think I need to step up to make sure the carers do the same.
The problem seems to happen when nobody is there!
I’ll certainly keep up with telling her “ go and try for one!”

Ha, many, many years ago I went to school with a lad we called Bod. Cannot remember his real name now. Made me smile that memory 😊
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,936
Nottinghamshire
Incontinence and dementia - the nightmare combination!!

I never found a solution to the problem but the above suggestions are all good. I didn’t live with my dad so watching and reminding him wouldn’t have been an option. He would have insisted he didn’t need the loo anyway. I’m thankful dad didn’t reach fecal incontinence until he went into the carehome but dealing with the tsunami of wee was a nightmare!

Dad was eventually given Tena pull-ups on prescription from the continence clinic but he didn’t want to wear them (said they were women’s pants) and , although I threw all his pants away, he refused and went commando.

In desperation I got carers in to make sure he was dressed appropriately - he needed to change his pull-ups 4 times a day as a minimum and only ever attempted to used the toilet when his pull-ups were so heavy they were half way down his legs which dad, being on furosemide, could achieve in a remarkably short time. This helped as dad would co-operate with them but not with me. Once he was wearing pull-ups regularly, which have to fit snugly around the legs to work effectively, there was a lot less washing

For cleaning up I had a Bissell carpet washer and used a pet carpet shampoo but as I didn’t get to the accident before it had dried in I never managed to get rid of the stain or odour from dad’s lovely cream carpet.