Hi Snuffy
You do have it in Spades, don't you?
And there is no point in simply typing in some platitudes to send you.
Far as I can see, you have two areas that are a major problem at the moment:
1) adjusting to your grief and the loss of your Mum
2) trying to make sense of a life that has simply fallen apart around you
Hopefully with time your grief will not be so painful, and the feeling of alone-ness will subside. That's not going to be easy, but it will happen, even if it seems to take an eternity.
The major issue at present is your personal situation, and that of your youngest son.
Regarding your Mum's Will(s), then if Mum's solicitors have only the one they have described, then there are only a few options for the one Mum showed you
If it really can't be found, then the last one to be registered with her solicitor is the one that will be used.
Your situation in the house may depend on the time it was your home and that you were caring for your Mum - as Jude says, try the CAB or the Alzheimer's Society Help line. There may be things they know that we don't that might help your situation.
With all these things pressing on you, no wonder you feel like you are drowning.
I once went on a time management course and - despite turning up a day late [shows how much I needed it!] - there was just one thing that I took from it.
Elephant tasks.
Elephant tasks were described as being those major, major things that could be compared to trying to eat an elephant. There's no way anyone can just pick up an elephant and eat it in one gulp. But if they break a bit off then that will make a mouthful, then they can break another bit off, then another, etc. Until the whole elephant is gone.
Folks, these are imaginary, allegorical elephants I am talking about. Not real ones!
Your present situation seems to be not just an elephant task at present, but a mammoth one. Try and pick off the bits that you can deal with, one by one.
As a first suggestion, gather all the facts about everything, and speak to the CAB and Help line.
... and use TP to let off steam!
You do have it in Spades, don't you?
And there is no point in simply typing in some platitudes to send you.
Far as I can see, you have two areas that are a major problem at the moment:
1) adjusting to your grief and the loss of your Mum
2) trying to make sense of a life that has simply fallen apart around you
Hopefully with time your grief will not be so painful, and the feeling of alone-ness will subside. That's not going to be easy, but it will happen, even if it seems to take an eternity.
The major issue at present is your personal situation, and that of your youngest son.
Regarding your Mum's Will(s), then if Mum's solicitors have only the one they have described, then there are only a few options for the one Mum showed you
- she showed you one she intended to implement but never signed it or had it witnessed and somehow it was then ditched
- she showed you one that she signed and had witnessed but that she never gave into safekeeping [it may come to light in the house, unlikely I know]
- could there be another soliditor?
- it might be at her bank?
- she may have given it to a friend for safekeeping
If it really can't be found, then the last one to be registered with her solicitor is the one that will be used.
Your situation in the house may depend on the time it was your home and that you were caring for your Mum - as Jude says, try the CAB or the Alzheimer's Society Help line. There may be things they know that we don't that might help your situation.
With all these things pressing on you, no wonder you feel like you are drowning.
I once went on a time management course and - despite turning up a day late [shows how much I needed it!] - there was just one thing that I took from it.
Elephant tasks.
Elephant tasks were described as being those major, major things that could be compared to trying to eat an elephant. There's no way anyone can just pick up an elephant and eat it in one gulp. But if they break a bit off then that will make a mouthful, then they can break another bit off, then another, etc. Until the whole elephant is gone.
Folks, these are imaginary, allegorical elephants I am talking about. Not real ones!
Your present situation seems to be not just an elephant task at present, but a mammoth one. Try and pick off the bits that you can deal with, one by one.
As a first suggestion, gather all the facts about everything, and speak to the CAB and Help line.
... and use TP to let off steam!
