Bad Time

[janew]

I seem to be going through a bad time at the moment with my mum. Since March she seems to have gone down hill quickly.

She had water infections one after another but hopefully she seems to have got better with those.

The CPN did a Mini Memory test and she scorred 7 so will have to come off the Exelon tablets in due course which she was prescribed as she is below the guide-line of 12 but they are waiting until they sort out the agression she seems to have in her.

When I am at work or for a bit of respite mum goes into an EMI Home and they have said that they have had some problems with her, mainly due to aggression to other residents.

1) When she was staying there she pushed someone out of there bed and left them crying on the floor while she got into her bed.

2) The Staff were washing the Dining Room floor and told her not to walk on the floor and as she couldn't get her own way she picked the sign up and threw it and walked off in the other directions.

3) There has been a number of instances where she has thrown drinks about and taken food off other peoples plates.

4) The worst one - she walked down a corridor with another older lady and pushed her over and she broke her elbow.

So after all these incidents it has been agreed with the Home, CPN & Doctor to put her on some medication to try and calm her down and stop her getting so anxious. They are going to start her on the tablets next week when she goes into the home to stay for 5 days and will see how it goes.

I feel so helpless, when she is at home, most of the time she is the mum I used to know (I do have bad days with her) but I guess its easier for me as I only have my mum to sort out.

I know it is the illness as if she knew how she was behaving she would have been horified but I just seem to get one thing sorted out and then along comes something else to sort out.

I am sorry I haven't posted lately and only seem to post when something is going wrong but I do read the posts daily to catch up with everyone.

Take Care
Jane

 

[Margarita]

HI Jane .



Sorry I can't be of help about the agression just wanted to say Hi

 

[Áine]

hi jane

sorry to hear you're having a tough time. i know well that feeling that just as you sort one thing out something else happens. never seem to have the satisfaction of "having sorted it" for more than a week or two before its all in a heap with a different problem

when my dad first went into EMI residential he became quite aggressive - kept shouting at the staff and telling them they were all sacked, and he grabbed hold of a woman resident and got very angry with staff when they tried to make him let go this is not my dad at all ........ he wouldn't even think about saying boo to a goose normally.

it was one of those situaitons where so much was changing that it was hard to have any idea what was causing what. he started on exelon only about a week after he went in there ....... and at the time it was thought that the exelon was what was causing the aggression. possible you mum might change when she's off it ?????

if mum tends to be more OK when she's with you it doesn't sound as though it's simply the illness causing the way she's behaving. assuming that you've sussed out whether the residential place is a basically Ok place (and not somewhere where she's being hurt) it might be worth trying to think with staff about what gives rise to the incidents. perhaps what you say about you only having your mum to sort out is key to some of this. i guess mum is having to share attention with quite a lot of other people in the home and that's going to be difficult for her having had your undivided attention. ...... might make some sense of why she's pushing other residents out of the way though.

best wishes
Áine

 

[Kayla]

I thought that my Mum had settled down in the NH and was feeling at home there. Today she asked me to take care of the moving to another place, and when I said that I thought she was happy where she was, she said she'd stay. She seemed a bit tearful and upset, but I think it was just because she was on her own and her friend wasn't with her. The staff said that she likes attention and company. I managed to distract her and I had no problems leaving.
The memory loss seems to mean that she keeps forgetting where she is and gets confused, but she fortunately still recognises people and knows the staff. She hasn't been aggressive, but has been very tearful and depressed, which has been controlled by medication.It is sad that in so many ways she is like her old self and she is aware that her memory and mind are playing tricks on her.
It has taken Mum a long time to settle in the Home, but the staff have the experience to deal with any problems.
Kayla

 

[janew]

Thank you Margarita, Aine & Kayla for your replies.

I think you may be right Aine - it does seem to me that she gets all my attention when she is at home and seems settled, that when she has to go to the EMI Home she is just one of a number.

Unfortunetly, there is not a lot can be done about this - I guess we will just have to wait and see if the 'Trifluoperazine' medication will help her.

I am looking forward to 5 nights respite this week, my friend is coming to stay with me from Canada so it will be great to have some 'me' time.

Take Care
Love Janew

 

[Áine]

I am looking forward to 5 nights respite this week, my friend is coming to stay with me from Canada so it will be great to have some 'me' time.

hope you have a lovely time jane. much as your mum needs care and attention ... so do you ............ enjoy