bad moment

pammy14

Registered User
Dec 5, 2005
103
leicestershire
Just getting sis ready for bed off the toilet into bedroom and she messedherself. Me shouting dont touch it wheres the tissues had to run to bathroom and she had then sat down . oh my god what a time , all sorted now but she is very upset but by tomorrow she will have forgotten it, what a disease it robs you of all dignity. How much worse can it get.
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
My heart really goes out to you. I HATE the indignities of this disease. Dad (not yet diagnosed with AD, Mum is) has incontinence problems and I just shudder every time I help him with problems (wet clothes, wet bed, floor needing cleaning, etc.) because he is so painfully aware of the indignity. It might just be a little easier if he was NOT so aware - but I don't want that for him either. There is something really pathetic about talking to your Dad about plastic bottles and incontinence pads . . .
Nell
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Hi
This is the stage I dread, I don't know if I will be able to cope with it and I suspect my Dad is heading towards incontinence. Stains on sheets and underwear. I bought a waterproof mattress cover yesterday, as well as the suits. I can cope with the washing etc. but I don't think I could cope with the indignity and Dad's embarassment.
You say your Dad is in the early stages of AD, could there be some physical condition which is making him incontinent. eg prostate?
Alfjess x
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Pammy

I've just got to that stage too. My huband has looked after himself in that respect until recently, when he started spreading mess all over himself, the bathroom and his clothes. I now go into the toilet with him, and he HATES it. I keep hoping that he'll re-learn the cleaning routine, but maybe I'm in cloud-cuckoo land. I dread the thought of trying to get him into incontinence pants.

Any suggestions welcomed.

Skye
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
790
Buckinghamshire
Hello Pammy, Skye et all,
Incontinence is one of the most tricky and delicate issues of all. It is the one thing where I can't turn a blind eye. I learnt a long time ago not to worry about mismatched clothing, a scratched tabletop or food and drink being spilled, to name but a few, but when it comes to excrement (wish I could remember Michael's wonderful terminology!!!), I have to take over, and I become a bully.
The trick is, if at all possible, to be 100% prepared: all equipment within easy reach, and doing 'things' in the right order so as to be able to work fast and with authority.
There is often a great deal of cursing and pushing involved, but I've discovered that the more quiet I remain, the less aggressive he is. Fortunately, our bathroom is tiny which gives me a bit more control.
Like all the other challenges we (and many others) face, they are to be overcome, we find solutions as we go along, and somehow we all manage.

Best wishes!!
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,670
66
Toronto, Canada
We have gone from small liners in the underwear, to large liners to full pull-up disposable pants with my mother. I'm afraid once an ability starts to go, it doesn't come back. There certainly may be times when a person makes it to the bathroom but gradually these times are further & further apart until they are gone.

The advantage of the incontinence pants is at least the mess is (more or less) contained. Well, there are the joys of fecal smearing :eek: !! Overall, it's more hygienic.

But the indignity of it - and my mother was one of those clean freaks, everything had to be perfect. She was slightly obsessive - to the point that she always had 2 face flannels - one for her body, one for her face. Now she's oblivious. Oh well, we plod on.

Joanne
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
alfjess said:
Hi
This is the stage I dread, I don't know if I will be able to cope with it and I suspect my Dad is heading towards incontinence. Stains on sheets and underwear. I bought a waterproof mattress cover yesterday, as well as the suits. I can cope with the washing etc. but I don't think I could cope with the indignity and Dad's embarassment.
You say your Dad is in the early stages of AD, could there be some physical condition which is making him incontinent. eg prostate?
Alfjess x

Hi Alfjess,

Yes, it is mostly prostate in Dad's case. He has not yet been diagnosed AD - my parents live together in an AD specific hostel because Mum has AD and Dad has been diabled for many years. Mum was his f/t carer and when she could no longer cope we had to find a suitable alternative. It is not ideal, but better than anything else we could come up with.

Fortunately Dad is quite matter-of-fact about his incontinence, and having worked most of my life with people with disabilities, I don't find it as hard to do as many people. (In disabilities, you get used to being incredibly "personal" with clients, for obvious reasons.)

However, I still find it cringe making and am mortified that my DAD has to rely on a daughter (me) for this sort of help.
Thanks for your comments.
Nell
 

pammy14

Registered User
Dec 5, 2005
103
leicestershire
Thanks for all your support. I was in a state when i wrote the message, better now as it is my weekend off. Win has gone to our other sisters until Monday so me aND MY HUSBND ARE GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND

lOVE TO YOU ALL
(sorry for capitals I am not shouting)
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hope you have a lovely weekend - the forecast is good!
Love Helen