Dear All I saw Dad a few weeks ago (I live some distance away so I can't get there often), and I'm so disgusted with myself. For the first time in my life I couldn't look my Dad in the eye when I saw him. I think it was because I can't stand the haunted look in them, but I avoided eye contact with him for the entire day. He's progressing quickly now, and although he's still living on his own (with carers), it won't be for much longer. He's been found wandering at night on at least one occasion, and has had several other unpleasant episodes. A few days ago I was watching a TV program and suddenly burst into tears (much to my husband's amusement) because a young boy had made a model of his grandad in the garden, and I got upset that my girls will never have a grandad like that. I hate the fact that 'my Dad' is long gone, and has been replaced by a shell of a man that I pity. I don't want to pity him, but seeing him not be able to go into a toilet by himself makes me want to scream. I work with dying people on a daily basis, and have no problem communicating with them and their relatives, but my own Dad.................. I just don't know what to say. There's nothing that anyone can say, I know, but I need to know that I'm not alone here. Someone tell me to pull myself together and stop being so selfish, please!!! Kate.