Dear All,
Just a quick note to say hi to all friends and a warm welcome to TP for all the new members that I haven't met yet.
I've been away for some time and I guess that some of you have been wondering where on earth I've been hiding myself.
As older members will recall, both my parents have AD and I've spent the last 6 years flying back and forth from Bali where I run a small beach hotel to the UK to look after them for six monthly intervals and having carers in place for the other half of the year. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my parents at home because I hated the thought of them being in a Nursing Home. Sadly, it worked out to be a case of being better to do one thing well than two things badly. The inevitable happened in that I wore myself in to a frazzle and the 'carers' ultimately took advantage of all of us.
Last June I arrived in the UK for my six months to care for Mum and Dad. I arrived to find my parents in an appalling state and looking like a couple of victims from Belsen. The house was a total mess and the whole deal fell apart and me with it. I felt like a complete and utter failure.
Thank God I had TP friends to back me up! I somehow kept it together and managed to get my parents into a twin room in a lovely local Nursing Home, although it almost broke my heart in the process. I would not have managed to do this without the support of many people on TP at that time and in particular, Sheila and her husband Andy who kept me sane. They gave me 2 months of their lives and their total unconditional love and support through every single minute of the process.
My parents now think they are living in an hotel and are very happy. I no longer have to worry about them when I am away as I know that they are being cared for and the Nursing Home keep me well informed on a weekly basis. I no longer feel the immense burden of guilt under which I laboured for so long. I write to them every week and send them photos - which they carry around with them every day. My father is now relieved of the anxiety of looking after my mother, for which I am profoundly grateful.
After the 2002 bombing in Bali and the more recent terrible bombings I have moved back to Australia. I'm currently in Far North Queensland. I'm running a backpackers's hostel called The Savoy in a small town called Tully. I am finally calm and focused. I have started to live again. Neither my parents nor I have beaten Altzheimers by any means, but we've dealt with the demons thus far from both ends.
When I return to the UK this summer, things will be very different. I shall be able to devote all my time to taking my parents out on trips, to help them to try and recall those past precious moments of our lives and to give them all of my undivided love and attention. I hope it will register somewhere as a spark. If not, we will live for the moment and I will carry the memories for them.
Jude xxx
Just a quick note to say hi to all friends and a warm welcome to TP for all the new members that I haven't met yet.
I've been away for some time and I guess that some of you have been wondering where on earth I've been hiding myself.
As older members will recall, both my parents have AD and I've spent the last 6 years flying back and forth from Bali where I run a small beach hotel to the UK to look after them for six monthly intervals and having carers in place for the other half of the year. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my parents at home because I hated the thought of them being in a Nursing Home. Sadly, it worked out to be a case of being better to do one thing well than two things badly. The inevitable happened in that I wore myself in to a frazzle and the 'carers' ultimately took advantage of all of us.
Last June I arrived in the UK for my six months to care for Mum and Dad. I arrived to find my parents in an appalling state and looking like a couple of victims from Belsen. The house was a total mess and the whole deal fell apart and me with it. I felt like a complete and utter failure.
Thank God I had TP friends to back me up! I somehow kept it together and managed to get my parents into a twin room in a lovely local Nursing Home, although it almost broke my heart in the process. I would not have managed to do this without the support of many people on TP at that time and in particular, Sheila and her husband Andy who kept me sane. They gave me 2 months of their lives and their total unconditional love and support through every single minute of the process.
My parents now think they are living in an hotel and are very happy. I no longer have to worry about them when I am away as I know that they are being cared for and the Nursing Home keep me well informed on a weekly basis. I no longer feel the immense burden of guilt under which I laboured for so long. I write to them every week and send them photos - which they carry around with them every day. My father is now relieved of the anxiety of looking after my mother, for which I am profoundly grateful.
After the 2002 bombing in Bali and the more recent terrible bombings I have moved back to Australia. I'm currently in Far North Queensland. I'm running a backpackers's hostel called The Savoy in a small town called Tully. I am finally calm and focused. I have started to live again. Neither my parents nor I have beaten Altzheimers by any means, but we've dealt with the demons thus far from both ends.
When I return to the UK this summer, things will be very different. I shall be able to devote all my time to taking my parents out on trips, to help them to try and recall those past precious moments of our lives and to give them all of my undivided love and attention. I hope it will register somewhere as a spark. If not, we will live for the moment and I will carry the memories for them.
Jude xxx
