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Back in hospital

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,920
0
Hi @nae sporran , having to combat the challenges from C's children as well as fight on her behalf must be beyond waring. I hope the three of you can work your way through the issues and manage to do what is in C's best interests. At the moment revoking your POA and starting from scratch doesn't sound at all helpful. I think you need to listen to what they have to say though, and try to agree on a few compromises. Do you think the social worker might be able to mediate between the three of you?
I hope C is doing well.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,388
0
Bristol
I saw C's son briefly. We were supposed to have coffee at the hospital, but cafe was closed. We got to the station and he found an earlier train.
Still, I did tell him the process as explained by OPG. I told him it was either the status quo or maybe change to joint attorneys and he accepts C does not have capacity at the moment to agree to any change. So, I am still sole attorney and we understand each other better.
Both son and daughter were in hospital today, in a sort of relay, so they know what she is like. She got out of bed for the first time since Thursday, but was in pain going back in again. So, it will be a while before she is well enough to come home unless the doctor makes the same mistake as last time.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,477
0
70
Dundee
That does sound quite positive Rob. I’m glad you have come to some understanding with C’s son.
 

I thank you for the years

Registered User
Oct 5, 2021
14
0
I saw C's son briefly. We were supposed to have coffee at the hospital, but cafe was closed. We got to the station and he found an earlier train.
Still, I did tell him the process as explained by OPG. I told him it was either the status quo or maybe change to joint attorneys and he accepts C does not have capacity at the moment to agree to any change. So, I am still sole attorney and we understand each other better.
Both son and daughter were in hospital today, in a sort of relay, so they know what she is like. She got out of bed for the first time since Thursday, but was in pain going back in again. So, it will be a while before she is well enough to come home unless the doctor makes the same mistake as last time.
@nae sporran
Hi! Re the idea about changing to joint attorneys. When I looked at the possibility of adding another attorney to my mother’s LPA it appeared that this too would require the original LPA to be ended and a new LPA set up.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
62
0
Lincolnshire
Nobody ever officially confirmed that. It did seem likely, so thanks for that.
Not much to add, other than general agreement and the thought that if her son had not brought this up would YOU have wanted to or C if she was capable, if the answer is ‘no’ it’s only because he suggested it then you shouldn’t even be thinking about it, it’s not the ‘help’ you, or C needs. Best of luck.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,388
0
Bristol
Thanks @Knitandpurl. I wanted to protect C, give her the best support I can with the knowledge I have gained, and try to keep her family onside. C's son is a bit more sensible than her daughter and asked me how she was in a text today.
It just carries on in the same sad way as it has done for nearly 2 months. She is just not responding to pain relief and feeling sorry for herself. An MP3 player with her favourite tunes did help C to perk up when I left her.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,388
0
Bristol
Well, the next stage is going to happen next week. C is not engaging with OTs or nurses. Pain meds have been stepped up again with attempts to alleviate side effects, but no change.
I saw her today and she is still complaining of pain just like the past two months.
The OT has recommended pathway 3 to nursing home respite / rehabilitation for 28 days and the social worker agrees. I looked into it a couple of weeks ago and it has to be. What will come of it I don't know.
I want to help and support her through all this, but feel helpless.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
3,173
0
Dorset
There are times when we can only do so much, to the best of our abilities and you have been/ are doing that. Circumstances are spiralling out of your control so the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens next but be there to support and comfort C. whenever you can.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,388
0
Bristol
There are times when we can only do so much, to the best of our abilities and you have been/ are doing that. Circumstances are spiralling out of your control so the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens next but be there to support and comfort C. whenever you can.
Thank you, Banjomansmate, I'll talk to dementia connect for advice, but I think comfort and support is about all I can do at the moment.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
8,388
0
Bristol
I left C happy listening to Andre Rieu on her MP3 player. While I was talking to the nurse in the other part of the ward I heard her scream. The nurse later explained on the phone that C had needed to use the toilet and screamed when they went to help her clean herself. Her skin is so sensitive and of course there is a remembered pain too.
To have such a horrible change of mood in 25 minutes was shocking even after all she's been through.
 

Seaholly

Registered User
Oct 12, 2020
112
0
Just stopping by to say 'hang in there!' and I can only imagine what a tough situation this must be.
Andre Rieu has helped our PWD many times! She just loves listening to his orchestra and he's been popping up on Sky Arts recently around teatime, which is fabulous because we keep her awake a bit longer and get a better night's sleep (most nights!!!)

My mum's pain threshold seems to drop through the floor when she's stressed or confused. We've got a new carer coming some days to help get her up and onto the commode and Mum struggles to follow what she's saying. A few times, she's screamed with pain when she's wiped her or helped her on and off the bed. I've told her (the carer) to let me do the talking and explaining and just to say hello and goodbye and that works a lot better. I know that's not possible in your situation, but it could be worth a chat to the nurses to suggest communication and method of assistance are kept as simple, calm and consistent as possible and in keeping with the way you communicate with her.
 

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