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Back in hospital

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
Thanks everyone. That's reassuring for both of us @notsogooddtr. C was due for assessment on care home or nursing home before she went back in

She is now waiting for a bed on the ward with no commitment, so I'll phone again in the morning. I just hope they have told her as requested that I am calling.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
I saw C today. She was half asleep for most of the hour, but pleased to see me. The nurse could not tell much while waiting for a doctor to assess. She is on IV fluids and antibiotics. She's still not eating much, but the grapes and orange I brought went down well.
They have me on record as next of kin so all the fuss first time round will happy be avoided. The rest I will try to find out tomorrow and have to prepare to wait til Monday for the fuller picture. That's not great, but at she is being treated for dehydration and an infection from day 1. Nothing seems to be broken either, but the fall was not too serious.
 

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
1,022
0
South east
That’s good news that C hasn’t broken any bones and 5hst they are already treating the infection. Hopefully you will know more from the doctors on Monday.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
Life just got more complicated today. C is refusing a canula and telling me the nurses are deliberately hurting her. Of, course I know that's just her pain and confusion talking.
The nurse who tried to do it while I was there asked another one about DoLs. The senior nurse did say it was something they will talk to the doctor about tomorrow and the pain management team will be called. I think she will just give up caring if they force her and will turn on me if I agree. There is a chance she will return to something like normal if she gets fluids.
This needse to talk to dementia connect and find some factsheets, but any insights from people who have been here are welcomed.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,393
0
High Peak
no but its used for children for blood tests and canulas
Ahem. Whilst delivering my children I had to have a canula both times and I don't do well with needle sticking. I can stand injections because they are momentary but can't bear the feeling of the needle in my hand. I made such a fuss they had to go and get what they called 'the magic cream' from the childrens ward :rolleyes:
 

Quizbunny

Registered User
Nov 20, 2011
149
0
It’s EMLA cream. I used to use it on children back in the day when I was taking their blood.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
It's been a day and a half.
First C's son met me for coffee to tell me he wanted the Power of Attorney as it would take the pressure off me. I would not mind a relaxing of pressure, but I have been talking to everyone on her behalf for 8 years while he has only been involved sporadically. He did help find our current sheltered housing and he is family. Like his sister I don't know if he fully understands what is involved. Anyway, I have the right advice on here, at cares groups and from dementia wellbeing he would need to start afresh on. I spoke to dementia connect and they explained how it would require a long process of forms and certification. If that is what will keep family quiet and if C is willing, and if we can find someone who will certifying her as having capacity then it will have to happen. Why do I feel like I and the support I have are just being cast aside.
C meanwhile is not getting out of bed so the OT can't assess her properly. The doctor knows about previous medication problems so is unsure about his next move. I suggested the lidocaine, but he says the licencing is limited and it is not a road he wants to go down.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,393
0
High Peak
Please don't give up your PoA. If you do I can see C's family trying to cut you out cmpletely. There are lots of ways they can take the pressure off you but this wouldn't help and would leave you completely out of the loop. It would mean they could do whatever they want and you'd have no say.

Don't do it.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
6,336
0
Chester
I agree entirely with @Jaded'n'faded - I don't understand what the benefit of this to you and C.

You only have next of kin status for hospital visits due to POA, you won't be able to have any input into any choice of C's carehome, or any aspect of her care.

I'm not sure it'll keep them quiet but more has the potential to completely exclude you from C's life.

I suspect that C no longer has capacity, and therefore can't remove you as an attorney or appoint anyone in your place even if she wanted to. The H & W POA only kicks in when capacity is lost.

We all know reading your thoughts on here how much you love and care for C, and you are the person that knows her and knows what she needs and the one that will be willing to fight to ensure she has what she needs.

I suspect that her dau has put pressure on the brother, and I'm sure they both feel excluded, but health professionals will only deal with the POA and if on this hospital visit they've followed this correctly then this might be why this has happened. The SW confirmed that as you have POA it is your decision, it is highly likely that they've been in touch and told they don't have input.

I'm not sure it'll give you an easy life in the way you want. C appointed you to act, if you were married there would be no question here of your rights and bar a piece of paper you have lived as a couple for a long time.

Please look after yourself by treating this as the manipulation it is and refuse to countenance it.

Sending ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))