Back in hospital. Sigh.

[AztecCamera87]

Dad is now home and in his bed.

It's all hit me now, I'm pretty worried. Not about death, that's going to come to all of us. But I'm scared about how we are going to be keeping him comfortable... We've still not managed to get him to eat any custard or yoghurt, he's just been spitting it out. We have managed to get him to have a few sips of water. This is not the best weather to not be eating or drinking!

My sister managed to get dad dressed into clean clothes. I have no idea how she managed it... serious question... with a PWD in this state at what looks likely to be there last few days/weeks, in pain when he's moved and very much deadweight despite weighing less... how do you get him changed? Should we invest in some hospital style gowns for him so he can keep his dignity in bed?

I had a call with a hospice nurse, and it was fine.... but I had this feeling that we would be expected to sit up through the night looking after dad.... Probably not going to be possible. But I guess we cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

[canary]

I cant remember, are you in UK?
If so, contact his GP, tell him what the hospital said, what is happening to your dad and get him to check your dad. If he agrees to place him on palliative care so that he is kept comfortable then the GP can put several balls in motion.
He can order drugs that your dad will need to keep him comfortable (the so -called "just in case box")
He can arrange for district nurses to keep an eye on him and administer the meds
He can arrange for carers to come in to wash him, do personal care and change clothes/bedding, including some overnight carers.

 

[AztecCamera87]

I cant remember, are you in UK?
If so, contact his GP, tell him what the hospital said, what is happening to your dad and get him to check your dad. If he agrees to place him on palliative care so that he is kept comfortable then the GP can put several balls in motion.
He can order drugs that your dad will need to keep him comfortable (the so -called "just in case box")
He can arrange for district nurses to keep an eye on him and administer the meds
He can arrange for carers to come in to wash him, do personal care and change clothes/bedding, including some overnight carers.

Hi, thanks. Yup. We're in the UK. Dad was already in the care of the hospice before this last hospital visit. The hospital have supplied us with various pain meds which will be delivered via a syringe driver (which im trying to get sorted). Ive spoken directly with the district nurse team this afternoon, as they were visiting dad three days a week previously. We had carers visiting 5 days a week previously 1-3 times a day. But I suspect this will need to be increased. His breathing is going between heavy and then seemingly non existent, but it was doing that in hospital.

Edit: it's all just a bit overwhelming. But i appreciate the responses.

 

[canary]

"His breathing is going between heavy and then seemingly non existent"

That sounds like Cheyne Stokes breathing.
I hope everything can be put in place very soon

 

[AztecCamera87]

Dad is refusing water now. His eyes are looking lifeless. Swelling around his kidneys has increased, breathing heavy. Skin more fragile, body tremors, coughing. He won't sleep, he hasn't slept in a few days... he knows what's happening? Nurses visiting more often to administer pain medication, and things for mucus build up and what not... I don't know. Every little move causes pain, he doesn't shout... but I can see it in his face and eyes... His temperature is fine, blood pressure maybe a little low. This is an awful way to die.

 

[Shedrech]

such a tough time on both your dad and you @AztecCamera87
sending a (cool) blanket of sympathy to wrap yourselves in

 

[Duggies-girl]

@AztecCamera87 This is what happened with my dad and it was a very difficult time. He slipped away very peacefully in the end which was a blessing. It was very strange because although I knew it was coming I didn't expect it to happen when it did and it came as a huge shock. I though it would be tomorrow or the day after, it was also a huge relief.

I hope that he passes peacefully and send you sympathy and strength.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I'm another one sending you strength. Let it be soon...

 

[Sarasa]

Thinking of you and your dad @AztecCamera87 .

 

[Cat27]

My thoughts are with you @AztecCamera87

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you and wishing you strength @AztecCamera87.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Thinking of you. I hope your father is comfortable.

 

[lemonbalm]

There’s no easy way to get through this part. I wish you strength and hope that your father is comfortable.

 

[AztecCamera87]

Thank you everyone for your comments, Dad would appreciate them. We have had such a busy day today with nurses coming in and out, a visit from the doctor's surgery paramedic and the hospice. It is likely he has pneumonia again, his oxygen levels are low, the hospice nurse came to install a syringe driver, but is was broken! Right now im sitting next to dad awaiting for the hospice to return. Here's hoping the next few days will be relatively peaceful for him. Im off from work for at least the rest of the week

 

[Shedrech]

I hope it's a comfort to you that you're able to be together @AztecCamera87

 

[AztecCamera87]

Hi everyone,

Dad died during the night. We knew the end was very near during the day. Me and my sister sat with him until the end it wasn't nice for the last few hours, a nurse said he wasnt destressed, nut i'm not sure... but at the very least his last two breaths seemed relaxed. We are at least happy he was at home, and not away in a hospice or hospital ward. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know, this morning has been nothing but phone calls. Thanks for all the information, and dealing with this anxious wreck over the past year or so. Things seem eerily calm right now, but I know the next few months will be really difficult!

 

[jennifer1967]

so sorry about your dad passing away but at least he is at peace and you had your sister was there at the end

 

[Melles Belles]

Sending condolences and be kind to yourself

 

[lemonbalm]

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds as though everything was done to make your Dad comfortable.

 

[Peace lily]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind and gentle with yourself at this difficult time x