Back again on this rollercoaster ride but...

[Millsa2]

This time I feel the end is very close.
Quick recap, Dad had a TIA towards the end of May, he was then admitted to hospital with chest infection and dehydration. He was then sent back to the care home for end of life care. He was put on morphine and midazolam syringe pump.

He has since been taken off this and is now on a morphine patch with Oramorph and codeine if he needs it (but he hasn’t had any extra for a few days) he lies in bed all day and is turned every 2hrs. Recently he was responding and smiling to voices.
However last Friday he went very quiet, he stopped responding to voices and now just stares into space, he’s keeping his mouth shut tight and has refused all food and drink since Friday lunchtime, his urine is dark brown and his face is very sunken as he’s suddenly lost a great deal of weight.
We feel he’s now giving up and suspect the end is near.
It’s his 70th birthday next Saturday and as I live 200miles away I’m driving up with my family on Friday morning to see him. I’m now in doubt though as to whether he’ll last this long.
Can anyone offer advice? Thanks x

 

[Grannie G]

Can anyone offer advice? Thanks x

I wish I could @Millsa2. It sounds as if it will be a waiting game.

I do hope your father will be there for you and for his birthday.

 

[Millsa2]

I wish I could @Millsa2. It sounds as if it will be a waiting game.

I do hope your father will be there for you and for his birthday.

Thanks for your reply. I do too. I hate this disease

 

[Hazara8]

This time I feel the end is very close.
Quick recap, Dad had a TIA towards the end of May, he was then admitted to hospital with chest infection and dehydration. He was then sent back to the care home for end of life care. He was put on morphine and midazolam syringe pump.

He has since been taken off this and is now on a morphine patch with Oramorph and codeine if he needs it (but he hasn’t had any extra for a few days) he lies in bed all day and is turned every 2hrs. Recently he was responding and smiling to voices.
However last Friday he went very quiet, he stopped responding to voices and now just stares into space, he’s keeping his mouth shut tight and has refused all food and drink since Friday lunchtime, his urine is dark brown and his face is very sunken as he’s suddenly lost a great deal of weight.ng
We feel he’s now giving up and suspect the end is near.
It’s his 70th birthday next Saturday and as I live 200miles away I’m driving up with my family on Friday morning to see him. I’m now in doubt though as to whether he’ll last this long.
Can anyone offer advice? Thanks x

This is perhaps the most challenging of times and even moreso at a distance. If the Care Home are providing you with continuity of care in respect of your father's day to day condition, this should enable some perspective on your doubts. Of course, 'end of life' can be quite long term in some cases, everyone is different. This is a very personal thing. But when 'end of life' was taking place with my late mother, I chose to be with her throughout the whole process, having cared for her throughout her dementia. I would have done so whatever the circumstances, as this is a profoundly significant time, which takes place just the once. In a way, it is a sacred moment, removed from all else in life.