Babysitting Service for the elderly

[Sammyg]

Hi

I am new to this forum and wondered if anyone can offer any advise on my dilemma.

I found myself being the only part time carer to my 90 year old mother in 2016, who is not only got a slight mobility problem, due to a broken hip, but was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year.

I usually am fortunate enough am trying to hold down a full time job, but am the moment I am on Furlough, but recently I have been asked to go back to work next month, part time at first with a view of going back full-time, its because of this I have now decided to try to get a carer in for my mother for the days I am not here, as it is unfortunately just the two of us, on discussing this though with Adult Social Services, they won't entertain the idea as she can do things herself at the moment like get herself stuff to eat and so on, she hates being on her own everyday, but unless she piles it on with ASS when they do a assessment with her, as I said they won't send anyone.

I suppose all that she needs really is a similar thing to a babysitting service, thus my question are there any of these services about, has anyone had any experience regarding this subject?

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Sammyg. I understand how hard it must be to balance your work commitments and caring for your mother. I suppose it’s a befriending service that you‘re looking for. I’m not sure if any of these services are operating during at the moment.

It might be helpful to have a look at these links -

Dementia support services

Alzheimer's Society provides help and hope to anyone affected by dementia. Call our support line, join our online community, find support in your local area or get dementia information.

alzheimers.org.uk

Befriending services | Combating loneliness | Age UK

Age UK explains how our befriending service works, and meet some of the older people who have benefited from befriending.

www.ageuk.org.uk

If you would be happy to fund something like this perhaps one of the local care agencies would provide a carer who could undertake befriending rather than care services.

 

[canary]

Once things open up (soon we hope!) then I think your mum would probably like day care. It would give her company and social stimulation. Many places will also give a mid-day meal.
Im surprised that the SW didnt suggest it, but perhaps thats because it isnt open at the moment. You could contact the SW again, ask about day care and see whether your mum could be put on a waiting list for when they open up again.

 

[Lynmax]

It depends on if you mum would be self funding or whether you are asking social services to fund the service.

If self funding, you can hire a Carer anytime you like, many of the carers are employed as companions initially but gradually become more needed. We used a brilliant agency for two hours a day a few times a week ( days when we sinblings were struggling to cover) to help prepare a meal for mum, sit with her and chat while she ate, watch TV or go out for a walk, whatever mum wanted to do. We then planned to increase the support as mums ability to live along deteriorated but after a hospital admission, it was obvious that drop in care would not be enough.

 

[Rosettastone57]

My mother in law was self funding and used a care agency to provide a sitting service for a couple of hours a week. She also had a befriending service via the Royal Voluntary service, although in the current situation, that may not be working.

 

[Sammyg]

Thank you Izzy, I have emailed them both, just to introduce myself and inform them about my situation, and therefore ask, what services they can offer my mother.

A Community Neighbourhood Link Worker, who is local to me, provided a befriending service, where she phoned my mother up every week, but as she suffers from Alzheimer's she reported she only has short conversations before she start becoming confused thus she stopped, saying she need specialist help as they were very limited in the services they could offer, but as she was a nice and pleasant person she would benefit from something similar.

Canary, when you say Day Care do you mean, Day Care in the home? As I am not sure she would go elsewhere as she is quite comfortable in her own home, where she can lie down if she gets tired, which is a lot now.

Lynmax and Rosettastone, love the name by the way, can I just ask both of you more information on the agencies, for instance what agency and the fees, as I have no idea where to start?

I mean we could really Self fund, as she does get Attendance Allowance, but I have no idea what prices to expect as this is all new to me, I think though, Adult Social Services sounds as though if I said my mother can't manage her meals, they would send a carer, but I think they said they charge for this service, so in that case I could get someone myself.

 

[RosettaT]

As a self funder my OH pays £26ph to his care company more at the w/e.
The cost is the same regardless of whether he wants personal care, companionship or domestic duties.

 

[canary]

SS do charge for carers, day care etc, but the amount you pay depends on finances. If she has more than £23,500 in savings (the house is excluded all the while she is living in it) then she would be self-funding, but once she goes under that limit there is a sliding scale of how much she would pay.

Canary, when you say Day Care do you mean, Day Care in the home?

I was thinkingof a day care centre. There is more going on there and it costs less per hour than for carers in the home. I thought you would be able to get more hours covered using this service.

 

[Rosettastone57]

Thank you Izzy, I have emailed them both, just to introduce myself and inform them about my situation, and therefore ask, what services they can offer my mother.

A Community Neighbourhood Link Worker, who is local to me, provided a befriending service, where she phoned my mother up every week, but as she suffers from Alzheimer's she reported she only has short conversations before she start becoming confused thus she stopped, saying she need specialist help as they were very limited in the services they could offer, but as she was a nice and pleasant person she would benefit from something similar.

Canary, when you say Day Care do you mean, Day Care in the home? As I am not sure she would go elsewhere as she is quite comfortable in her own home, where she can lie down if she gets tired, which is a lot now.

Lynmax and Rosettastone, love the name by the way, can I just ask both of you more information on the agencies, for instance what agency and the fees, as I have no idea where to start?

I mean we could really Self fund, as she does get Attendance Allowance, but I have no idea what prices to expect as this is all new to me, I think though, Adult Social Services sounds as though if I said my mother can't manage her meals, they would send a carer, but I think they said they charge for this service, so in that case I could get someone myself.

My mother in law had a private care agency that I arranged without any involvement from social services. The rules of the forum prevent me from any recommendations, but I simply googled a few agencies in her area. The care manager came to assess her needs. She actually didn't want carers initially, but as we had power of attorney for finances, we arranged it anyway. Neither my husband or I had the time or inclination to provide care. This was in 2018, in South East London, so prices will vary. She paid £23 an hour in the week and slightly more at weekends. They provided a sitting service as well as doing her meals and coming in the morning to make sure she was ok. They were providing visits 3 times a day but eventually this wasn't sufficient to keep her safe and she went into care.

 

[Lynmax]

Having power of attorney for mums finances, we were able to employ carers from a local agency, which was a franchise of a national one, sorry cannot recommend any on here. We told mum the carers were friends of ours just popping round to see her, she never knew that she was paying £25 an hour!

Like others here, I Google’s local agencies and spoke to friends in some groups I belong to for any recommendations and went from there. It was good luck that we found one that we were very happy with.

 

[Catastrophe]

We contacted agencies to sit with Dad once a week. No local agency would provide this service. We tried day care, but although the service was great Dad hated it, it's all old folk who can't remember anything, he said!!!! Our SS gave us the contact details of an independant carer. She is amazing and now does two 4 hour stints per week. Its a sanity saver for me as Dad can be constantly demanding around me. He still gets huffy that I don't stay around as well, but soon gets over it and then is usually worn out for the rest of the day, so I get more peace from the constant moaning.

 

[1956JOYCE]

Omg my husband can not be left alone now .
I still work what can I do .

 

[Shedrech]

hello @1956JOYCE
a warm welcome to DTP

you sound to be at the end of your tether

contact your Local Authority Adult Services and ask for an urgent assessment of your husband's care needs, plus a carer's assessment for yourself, you both have a right to theses ... hopefully a care package will be put in place
be absolutely blunt with them, do not play down your situation ... let them know that you must work butvyour husband isn't safe to be on his own

if your husband has savings and income you can use it to pay for home care you arrange yourself .... have a look for local services eg here:

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

and this will give info re paying for care

Paying for dementia care in England

Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.

www.alzheimers.org.uk