When I applied, I sent off for the forms - just do a search for Attendance Allowance and you'll find the details easily - but also signed up on line and down loaded those 'forms' as they were slightly differently set out and I thought the online application gave me more scope to write what I wanted to but the paper form gave me all the categories I needed to mention.
Then I went through each section and wrote examples for everything just on plain paper so I could add and edit. I was very honest but I looked at the 'worse' end of the spectrum - it turned out to be sadly easy to do. I mean - don't focus on the few instances when you were so pleased that your husband managed a task - FOCUS on the times (and you will discover they are more regular than you realised) when he was unable to do something, remember the things he is no longer able to do and that you are now doing but it has become so routine that you don't notice any more AND mention those worrying irregular inabilities that you will begin to realise are becoming more frequent.
Think of all the adaptations you have made to your home, your daily routine and your lives in general. Think of activities you used to do but have been changing or giving up. Think of all the help you have asked for - whether you got it or not - and all the help you ideally would like to have to give your husband a good life. Think of the things you would like to do and can't or find difficult at the moment, but could do with some kind of support.
Go through your daily routine and write down EVERYTHING you help your husband with - to do this consider your lives pre-dementia and compare your lives now - don't leave anything out thinking it is too trivial, those small changes add up to constant supervision!
Make a list of the particularly challenging episodes you have both faced - physical, mental and emotional. Describe the changes in your husband's personality, moods etc. Write down the 1 or 2 things that worry/frighten you the most.
Look through your diary and medical records and write out all the appointments, medication and interventions over the last year.
Make a note of any carer input etc you have - a cleaner (or that the cleaning doesn't get done), a gardener, carer visits, day care, chiropodist (because he can no longer cut his own toenails) ...
I was overwhelmed by what I read back to myself - and so saddened - as I was faced with dad's new situation in black and white in my own handwriting, and I hadn't realised just how much the AZ had affected him, and me.
So then leave the process and do something you love to do. In fact, I took days to get everything together, and to give myself time to accept what I had to write.
I preferred the layout of the online application as I could write out all the points I wanted to make in my own way - I used bullet points and gave an example for each. I wrote as if I were dad (it says to somewhere on the form) and used as many of his own words as I could.
I also filled in the additional spaces and the bit about the carer as I had so much to put down. I filled in the section that I was completing the form on dad's behalf - and read over to him what I had put so I could honestly write that he knew all about the application - but what I said pretty much went straight over his head.
This all seems so negative, I know, but that's the point. You are stating honestly and factually why you NEED the AA. Be brutally honest - tell it as it is on the worst day and in the worst situation, because that is why your husband qualifies for the AA which will make a difference to his life and yours. Let's face it nothing you mention will get better or easier
One eg from what you wrote:
'He can dress himself' - does this mean as he did 10 years ago OR does it actually mean
If I put out all his clothes within sight and easy reach, hand each item to him (otherwise he puts pants over trousers) and prompt how to put each on, giving him time otherwise he becomes frustrated and angry, and most times help him with buttons - he can dress himself.
I use this 'simple' task as an example as the temper, the hallucinations and the safety aspects you will already appreciate need to be described.
And don't think that because you 'don't tick every box' your application isn't sound - if you do 'tick' everything they will know you should have applied ages ago.
Sorry to write so much - you did ask! Hope it's helpful.
PS Forgot to mention - DWP told me to apply for Carer's Allowance at the same time so it was in the pipeline for when AA was granted. I found it useful to do them close together as I was in the swing of form filling and it got a draining experience out of the way.