Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Helena, Aug 31, 2006.
Some of that applies to my mother too, (though my mother was mostly a nicer person)
What beats me is a member of her Flower group said " your Mums such a lovely lady "
My extremly placid and highly thoughtful husband said just yesterday " he can never remember my Mother ever being nice
I'm glad she has or had the Flower Group, whatever it is.
Its strange how we all see people differently
I do not know what the other members of her Flower Arranging group would say but you should have heard her complaining about them
Most people said my mother was lovely but they didn't see the aggressive side.
I’d like to see it as a privilege when we see more than one side of someone - even if we don’t think it’s a very ‘pleasant’ side it shows they are relaxed enough with us to be themselves….
My mum amazes me now that she can often ‘rise to an occasion’ (e.g. a consultation) and I think I am with someone totally different to how she presents when we are alone …..
To come back to the point re Attendance Allowance - or to apply it to consultations - I think both Jennifer and Lila have made a very important point …. There is an element of ‘saving face’ and not wishing to admit to their difficulties … (it seems they still know to do this?) ... once more we have to step into the breach…. battle on their behalf - whilst somehow maintaining their dignity and self-confidence…..
Who said this was ever gonna be easy????
Love all, Karen, x
I never thought it was a privilege when she hit me!
You can say that again
But luckily there were far more days when she didn't hit me (or anyone).
Though when I spoke to the benefit helpline the lady there said "a lot of people with Alzheimers don't put enough down to qualify, it's important to put everything in the form". This might be why the poster above didn't manage to get it.
All of this is different in Australia, but I have been involved for many years in applying for government assistance (for clients) for all sorts of different types of help, and I can vouch for the above statement!!
Always put down everything you can think of. Make sure you allow the maximum amounts (whether it is time or money!) for every single thing!
For example: here in Oz, when parents apply for "child disability benefit" they must put down everything they do for the child and how long it takes. Most parents say 2-3 minutes to change a nappy (diaper). I say - think carefully about that time. Have you included: collecting the clean nappy? washing and cleaning the bottom? disposing of the dirty nappy correctly? washing your hands? returning the child to the activity in which s/he was previously involved? Very soon it looks more like 8 - 10 minutes for this task.
Think long and hard about exactly how much time is involved / cost is involved / and how often each task must be done or repeated. This is NOT about cheating the system, it is about making the system work. If we underestimate needs then it may result in being denied the very help we (or our relative) needs.
better than nowt
I've posted this info elsewhere, but it seems to fit here as well - I found a really useful - and I mean REALLy useful - guide that can be used to fill in the AA form in the 'correct terminology' at the Barton Hill (East Bristol) Advice Service website. You actually need to download their 'Mental Health DLA Guide for Adults' as they don't have a mental health AA guide - but the two forms are substantially the same, so it's no problem. The guide goes through each section in detail and really helps you make the case.
OK £41 a week isn't much but it's better than a poke in the eye with a stick, as my old dad used to say. I wish he was still here to say it and to make Mum laugh.
Go to: www.bhas.org.uk and click on DLA for the free PDF Guide
I would also add that under new rules, a couple who look after each other and who are both in receipt of qualifying benefits can now both apply as carers, in regard to Carer Allowance.
If you are in receipt of State Pension, then you can't get Carer Allowance unless your Pension is less (in which case afaik you get the difference between the two up to the maximum £46.95 per week). However, what you would get is the Carer Premium, which basically means you can have a larger income/more savings and still qualify to get Pension Credit.
As I recall, the Premium raises the "weekly income" in regard to Pension Credit by about £25.
It may not be much in financial terms, but if you get Pension Credit, it makes you elligible for all sorts of other benefits.