Attendance allowance question

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
I'd be grateful for any advice from the experts on here please! My father (83) has dementia and is cared for at home by my mother (80) in Scotland (not sure if there are any différences to the rules there compared to England). He was formally diagnosed about 9 months ago but has had it for much longer. I live abroad. I am currently looking at the attendance allowance form with a view to helping them make a claim. However, while it is very hard for mum to look after dad, he doesn't have nursing needs yet and is only very occasionally incontinent. She can still leave him alone for maybe an hour or so, although we avoid it as he can get flustered/confused and do stupid things. He is still able to shower and dress himself with constant chivvying along, being told what to wear, what to do and when to do it etc. So my mother is under considerable mental strain but is reluctant to apply for attendance allowance as she feels he isn't bad enough yet. I'm not sure what to think as it is very hard for her to deal with him (confusion, non-physical aggression, constant need for supervision, repeating of questions, saying daft things etc.). I have read on here that it's good to be "in the system" and apply at the right time. My parents live in a very isolated area and there is no local help mum can get to fill in the form. We do have Power of Attorney. So really my question is should I encourage them and help them to apply for attendance allowance at this point or wait till things get worse? Thanks for any advice.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Apply now. Don't wait until it gets worse. For each entry say how it is on the worst day or night not that sometimes it's OK.

It is very important to mention if she has to get up during the night to help him or remind him to go back to bed. Occasional urine accidents should be noted even hough it's not full on incontinence.

The lady who filled mine in wrote screeds whereas I would have been like your mother and said it was not too bad.
 

Lancashirelady

Registered User
Oct 7, 2014
110
0
I would claim now. Your Dad has had a formal diagnosis and the medics can offer evidence if needed. What you have to do with the form is to describe your dad's difficulties on a bad day - be brutally honest and don't let your Mum try to put things in a better light. I got AA for my Dad with no questions asked.
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Definitely apply now. My husband is really ok a lot of the time, but we never know when he is going to enter a period of confusion and not know who I am, or where he is. He can wander at nights...and we were awarded the higher level of allowance. You do have to put the very worst case scenario...this is not the time to 'put a good face on things'. I don't know if it is the same in Scotland, but in England once the award is made, then other things follow...like a 25% reduction in council tax.
Some say the form should be completed by a professional...and for my late husband it was...but this time round (I know, don't say it!) I did the form myself. It is long and seems repetitive...and a lot of it seems geared towards mobility rather than cognitive stuff. I made copious notes while reading through the form and then used the notes to complete the form, making sure I had included all the areas that my husband needed support in.
I think a lot of things naturally fall to 'the wife', the cooking, the cleaning, laundry, even organising a social life...but you need to stop and think how things would be if the dementia sufferer lived alone. How much help would have to be 'bought in' to maintain a good quality of life.
Yup, not pleasant to think about, but get the form done.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Another one who would say apply now. My dad was probably not quite as bad when I applied for his (no incontinence) but he needed prompting/reminding to do things. He could, and still can be left alone as long as someone visits everyday to make sure he's taken his pills, eaten, washed etc.

I felt very disloyal listing everything he needed help with on his bad days, it sounded awful, but it was true when I really thought about it.

He got the allowance. And glad he did as we've needed more help, extra washing etc. as things have declined a little since then.
 

spbeagle

Registered User
Oct 20, 2016
26
0
Apply now on the basis that he needs constant supervision with or without short breaks through the day (and night if it is not safe for him to be left alone at night). If it is not safe for him to go out on his own because he would be likely to get lost and/or be danger to himself or others, put that in as well. You don't need nursing needs to qualify or be incontinent.
 

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
Thank you so much for your unanimous advice! I will persuade my mother to go ahead with the claim. I can fill in most of the form for her and I have grasped that I need to think "worst day" and write more detail than I probably would have done. This is very helpful. Thanks.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
If he is at risk of putting himself in danger when left alone then that's a constant supervision need. Remember this is about his needs, whether they are currently being met or not, so whether you leave him alone now and then is not the point. So you tick all the dangers that might happen to him if not supervised, you describe everything in detail in the comment boxes and if asked about how long he needs help with a particularly task, make it 20 minutes, not 2. If you have any supporting reports from the GP or Memory Clinic, include them as well.

The difference between the lower and the higher rate are his night needs, so if he needs supervision or lots of taking to the toilet at night, it's very important to include that.
 

Dearie Me

Registered User
Feb 2, 2012
41
0
Scotland
We also live in Scotland, and in our case the community psychiatric nurse encouraged us to apply. She made a referral to the DWP, who sent out an adviser to help us complete the form. We simply answered all his questions and higher rate AA was awarded very quickly. The adviser also emphasised that we base the application on worst days.
 

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
Argh! Dad has just realised that mum and I are discussing making some sort of claim "for him" - he has no idea what of course. He seemed to think it was the precursor to being put in a home. He wasn't having any of it and was forbidding mum to do it! I had to "talk him down" on the phone. I think I got through for the moment. He listens to me better than to mum. I can see he's going to be resistant though so we'll have to try and do it on the quiet. I reckon mum should get down the local surgery and see if we have such a thing as a community psychiatric nurse but I know she won't want to do that. It's difficult managing it all from abroad. I'm surprised that nobody they have been in contact with has suggested attendance allowance to them. I only found out from this forum. Dad has seen a consultant at the hospital twice as well as the GP numerous times and a nurse at the GP practice but nobody said anything.
Yes, the need for constant supervision and the risk of him lighting the gas and stuff like that are what I need to stress I think.
 

dora

Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
152
0
England

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
The CPN will not be attached to the local surgery but will work under the Consultant at the Memory clinic. Filling in the forms can be done by a variety of people for your Mum but usually in Scotland we have a Link worker who comes out to the house to see how they can help and advise. They will complete the form if you don't manage and also the request for council tax to be reduced.

If your parents are out of the way of such things you might contact Alz Scotland (terrific) or Age UK to get advice about what to do or what help they should get next.
 

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
Thank you. We've now ordered the form. I'm reading the links and I also think I'll need to get a certified copy of PofA. I'm visiting them not this weekend but next for a long weekend so I'll look at it all with mum then (so long as we can get dad out of the way for long enough!).
 

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
They are very "old school" and reluctant to see any medical person if it can be avoided. I keep encouraging mum to ask about a link worker, although I didn't know that was the name for them. However, she's determined and independent (to a fault). I'm hoping that dad will soon get a review appointment with his specialist as he has been on Donepezil for a few months now. If mum had to actually take him to the appointment I think she might ask more questions when actually there. Last time she was offered the number of "somebody" - so I suspect a link worker - but said she was managing fine thanks. This has been most helpful and clarified everything for me so hopefully I can get things moving when I'm on my visit.
 

PINK AVOCET

Registered User
Aug 7, 2017
11
0
Checked out VOCAL and they're not in our area but I've been in touch with Alzheimers Scotland now and they were great. Parents are located in far North West so not practical....
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
The far north west is my ancestral homeland - Sutherland. My thoughts are even more with you than before.
 

carlton ann

Registered User
Feb 13, 2016
60
0
I would say also ask for backdating on the form, they may go back up to 3 months. You can apply without your father knowing, if you can keep him away from the form. As had been said do the worse case senario, things are done almost without realising you are doing it eg. You say he can still shower and dress if talked through the process. Take the "talk" element away and say he can't shower or dress without help.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Good point Ann. My husband does the physical washing of his own body but I'm standing there handing him shampoo and soap an stopping him fiddling with the thermostat to stop him from being scalded. You have to get that kind of scenario across.
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
705
0
I agree with everyone else and say definitely do it. I recently applied for it on behalf of my dad who has Advanced Dementia and he has just been awarded the higher rate allowance which was back dated to the date of his diagnosis (May 17). It took about 5 weeks for it to be awarded.

I will say though that the form is pretty daunting and if you can I would try to get help completing it. I'm a registered Carer and the Carers centre were brilliant and helped fill in the form for me and things that I hadn't considered that much of a problem they helped me see from a different light, so well worth getting that help.

Also, as you say you have POA, rather than send the original with the application, I was advised to go the local job centre and get them to copy it and then they stamped and signed every page, which I then sent.

Good luck.
Elle x
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,442
0
Just to add: while they may well have changed the form since I applied for my mother, when I did it I attached literally pages of additional info as there wasn't enough room on the form. Basically: don't think you have to fit it all on the form. Also emphasize how long this has been going on. I only applied after my mother had her most serious stroke but I made the point that that her need for services (even if she wasn't actually getting them) had been going on for several years before that point. There is a requirement that the need be there for at least 6 months before AA can be awarded. Don't forget, also, that there only needs to be a need, not that the services have actually been provided.

An example: assistance with dressing. Well my mother could just about dress herself, but it took her literally hours. So you don't say : no assistance with dressing, rather that assistance is needed to ensure 1) dressing isn't exhausting, 2) dressing is appropriate, 3) dressing is completed in a reasonable time frame.

I got mummy the higher rate more or less immediately.
 

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