attachments to distract

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
Hi

Who is responsible to 'assess' what a person with Alzheimers living in a care home needs to 'distract them' from anti-social behaviour?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,306
South coast
Hi Brightonbelle and welcome to Talking Point (TP)
Im not quite sure what you mean, Im afraid. Could you elaborate a little?
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,835
London
I read "attachments" as "activities". A care home should have an activities coordinator, however you seem to ask what can be done to distract someone from displaying disturbing behaviour. Care home staff should have strategies for this. Can you please tell us a bit more about the situation so we can understand what's going on?
 

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
Hi Brightonbelle and welcome to Talking Point (TP)
Im not quite sure what you mean, Im afraid. Could you elaborate a little?
It's difficult - I suppose I really need re-assurance and advice. My Mother has recently been admitted to a care home and she's settling in OKsh I think. The problem is she's become very attached to a doll - that's not a new thing, she did all that at home. But now the CH want to introduce a cot and baby clothes so she can nurture 'it'!! Maybe I'm over reacting but I am new to this - it's just that I feel quite uncomfortable with the situation - should I be more relaxed about it? They are the experts but I feel quite anxious about it. Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.
 

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
I read "attachments" as "activities". A care home should have an activities coordinator, however you seem to ask what can be done to distract someone from displaying disturbing behaviour. Care home staff should have strategies for this. Can you please tell us a bit more about the situation so we can understand what's going on?
You've hit it on the head - I'm uncomfortable about a suggestion that my mother has a baby cot, with clothes so she can nurture a doll she has become very attached to. The attention with the doll is not in itself a problem - she did this a lot at home, but the escalation is making me feel nervous - should I be?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,306
South coast
Doll therapy is very common and it is very calming for those that it works with.
Mum has a toy rabbit that I knitted her and she took into her CH with her. I knitted clothes to go with it and she talks to it (and makes it talk back), dresses and undresses it and it sleeps in bed with her.
If your mum has taken to this doll then I think this is good thing and I cant see the harm in getting clothes and a cot for it.
Why does it worry you?
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,835
London
We have a teddy bear that OH loves very much. We take him on holidays and he has his own little bed. He also sometimes cuddles dolls at the Day centre. I see nothing wrong with that. If it provides comfort, it's ok with me. Yes it seems childish but they have regressed to childhood and there is no point trying to get them to snap out of it. We all need someone or something to love.
 

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
Doll therapy is very common and it is very calming for those that it works with.
Mum has a toy rabbit that I knitted her and she took into her CH with her. I knitted clothes to go with it and she talks to it (and makes it talk back), dresses and undresses it and it sleeps in bed with her.
If your mum has taken to this doll then I think this is good thing and I cant see the harm in getting clothes and a cot for it.
Why does it worry you?
Something to care for and nurture is not a worry for me and Mum has 'loved' all sorts of toys/animals etc., over the past few years whilst her Alzheimers has taken hold - my worry is that if the cot and a 'baby' is situated permanently in her room she might become more aggressive if anyone else wants to see it or take notice of it. It's all so new to me and I suppose I'm fearful that the escalating 'caring' aspect to this kind of thing becomes obsessive and she becomes more agitated. She does wander a lot but maybe I'm worrying about nothing. It's good to hear what everyone else thinks. Just needed re-assurance that it's OK
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,306
South coast
Something to care for and nurture is not a worry for me and Mum has 'loved' all sorts of toys/animals etc., over the past few years whilst her Alzheimers has taken hold - my worry is that if the cot and a 'baby' is situated permanently in her room she might become more aggressive if anyone else wants to see it or take notice of it. It's all so new to me and I suppose I'm fearful that the escalating 'caring' aspect to this kind of thing becomes obsessive and she becomes more agitated. She does wander a lot but maybe I'm worrying about nothing. It's good to hear what everyone else thinks. Just needed re-assurance that it's OK
I take your point about becoming obsessive about it, but TBH if she is going to become obsessive about something then this is a fairly harmless thing and if it wasnt the doll then it might be about something more difficult to manage. The staff will know if she starts to worry about anyone taking notice of it and you can always ignore it :cool:
 

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
I take your point about becoming obsessive about it, but TBH if she is going to become obsessive about something then this is a fairly harmless thing and if it wasnt the doll then it might be about something more difficult to manage. The staff will know if she starts to worry about anyone taking notice of it and you can always ignore it :cool:
Thanks for the communication -from all the other 'comments' on what a lot of people have to deal with this seems trivial - sorry.

It's the beginning of what might be a long journey for our family and all I have to go on really is that my mother couldn't be looked after by my father any longer in their home. The workings and politics of a nursing home is completely new to us all. That makes us 'question' everything I guess when it comes to the care of our Mother.

She's taken to going into other rooms, rummaging through their drawers and has had a few 'physical encounters' with other residents.

Thanks again - I'll try not 'to think' too much about the consequences of their actions - we as a family had 5 years of that and I think maybe we have to let that responsibility go.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,306
South coast
No question or concern is "trivial" on here brightonbelle. If it is worrying you then its important.
I take it that your mum hasnt been in a CH long? It can take several weeks for someone to settle. Going in other rooms is common in CHs, Im afraid. Mum has a tendency to find a bed and sleep on it - doesnt matter whose it is :eek: She also gets up at all times during the night and wanders around. Its par for the course with dementia and the carers should be able to deal with it. From the way they are trying to encourage doll therapy it sound like they know what they are doing.
It also takes a while for reletives to adjust too - you are in the early stages of this step and are probably feeling anxious and guilty. My mum has thrived in her CH. She is settled and so much less anxious. I think the effort of trying to live in her home was driving the paranoia and it was a nightmare. She is now content, has put on some weight and made some friends.
It will get better.
 

brightonbelle

Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
6
No question or concern is "trivial" on here brightonbelle. If it is worrying you then its important.
I take it that your mum hasnt been in a CH long? It can take several weeks for someone to settle. Going in other rooms is common in CHs, Im afraid. Mum has a tendency to find a bed and sleep on it - doesnt matter whose it is :eek: She also gets up at all times during the night and wanders around. Its par for the course with dementia and the carers should be able to deal with it. From the way they are trying to encourage doll therapy it sound like they know what they are doing.
It also takes a while for reletives to adjust too - you are in the early stages of this step and are probably feeling anxious and guilty. My mum has thrived in her CH. She is settled and so much less anxious. I think the effort of trying to live in her home was driving the paranoia and it was a nightmare. She is now content, has put on some weight and made some friends.
It will get better.
Thank you Canary -your reassurance and understanding is very welcome indeed - now I've found this 'forum' I will be a regular!
My whole family is the kind where we have always been free and open with our cuddles and kisses and Mum has had us all for all our lives and she cannot understand why the other residents sometimes don't reciprocate!!
She's had a few physical incidents which worry us. Of course we don't blame other residents at all on any level but we do get anxious and feel guilty that perhaps we indulged her too much and now she's paying the price.
Our 86 yr old Father is completely lost without her.