At what point do you decide for a care home?

[Crommy50]

My mum went into a care home about 5 weeks ago. I still have days of feeling intense guilt! She doesn't realise she is in a care home but she knows she is in a bigger house which she thinks is hers? She often says it's too big for her. I don't know who she thinks all of the other residents are though? Dementia is so hard to understand. I try to time my visits so that she is going through to the dining room for a meal then I leave. It's so hard. Sometimes she can talk sense and other times she's in another world. And that is what makes it difficult. I had to take her two beloved dogs off her when she went in. Today she has cried and said I have to take her two more dogs to keep next time I visit. Dementia is so cruel. The staff tell me that she's quite settled when I'm not there. I just have to do my best to listen and accept what they say. Time is the healer I believe - it's got to get easier, hasn't it?


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[sford91]

Thankyou for all your comments I find them really helpful I've been trying to encourage my sister to come on here. My sister is going to visit on Saturday and go twice weekly I think. Mum has a slip last night and the home called 111 for advice mums absolutely fine and I did say to my sister that mum quite often puts herself on the floor or she crawls ( mum finds this hilarious) but as I said to my sister at least it happend there. It wil take a long time for us all to adjust I think. I don't know if it gets any easier you just learn to live with it I guess. Thankyou again

 

[Cat27]

My mum went into a care home about 5 weeks ago. I still have days of feeling intense guilt! She doesn't realise she is in a care home but she knows she is in a bigger house which she thinks is hers? She often says it's too big for her. I don't know who she thinks all of the other residents are though? Dementia is so hard to understand. I try to time my visits so that she is going through to the dining room for a meal then I leave. It's so hard. Sometimes she can talk sense and other times she's in another world. And that is what makes it difficult. I had to take her two beloved dogs off her when she went in. Today she has cried and said I have to take her two more dogs to keep next time I visit. Dementia is so cruel. The staff tell me that she's quite settled when I'm not there. I just have to do my best to listen and accept what they say. Time is the healer I believe - it's got to get easier, hasn't it?


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

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