i think its some of my fault i should not pretend to the out side world that i am coping well may be they would listen more
Oh bel, that's a lesson I think we've all had to learn. If we say we can cope, we are left to cope.
It's only when we admit that it's all too much for us that help kicks in. And don't forget, we're entitled to that help. We've paid for it in advance, through taxes and insurance. You're only getting what is due to you, so keep on fighting for it. (Though of course we shouldn't have to fight).
I hope all goes well for the wedding, it will be a lovely day for you to remember.
Love,