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At the end of my tether

gwincy

Registered User
May 18, 2014
17
Cheshire
Thought I had got a little bit of myself back with husband in day care four days a week and having just had a weeks respite. He has always refused to do anything until he is ready but he now refuses to do anything I ask him. He refused to get into the car last week on the way to daycare (I do not have the confidence to take him out anywhere as he just walks off and shouts and swears) He walked off down the road and when I tried to bring him back pushed me against a wall and shouted. Eventually got him into the house after three quarters of an hour walking up and down the road. I left taking him to daycare and thought the next day would be different but it wasnt. He has started refusing to go to the toilet and when he has had an accident refuses to let me clean him or get him into the shower until he is ready. Today he was cold and would not let put a sweater on him shouting and swearing at me and not letting me put his trousers on until he was ready.

Is this a phase or another step down the ladder. Life is hard enough without spending all day trying to get him to do things. I decided yesterday to take a step back but it made no difference, he just wanders round the house muttering. Then out of the blue he will say Are you alright love? Arrrgh.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Hi there
Welcome to TP
Goodness me you are having a rough patch.
Would it be worth going to the GP to get a referral back to the memory clinic - sounds as though a reassessment and possibly a change of meds might be useful/?

Or perhaps you can phone the memory clinic direct?

Can you get transport arranged for daycare so that you aren't taking him and he is being collected, sometimes that distance helps - perhaps worth asking.

Just a thought - he hasn't got a UTI has he - sometimes that causes a big change in confusion and behaviour.
Take care, others will be on soon with other ideas xxx
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,095
Bolton
Perhaps you could phone either his GP or the secretary of his consultant and ask that a community psychiatric nurse (CPN) can come out to visit him.

I would explain that you are going through a very difficult time and that your husband's condition has considerably worsened over the last weeks and you are struggling to cope with his new behaviours

Best wishes to you at this very hard time

xxTinaT
 

gwincy

Registered User
May 18, 2014
17
Cheshire
Hi there
Welcome to TP
Goodness me you are having a rough patch.
Would it be worth going to the GP to get a referral back to the memory clinic - sounds as though a reassessment and possibly a change of meds might be useful/?

Or perhaps you can phone the memory clinic direct?

Can you get transport arranged for daycare so that you aren't taking him and he is being collected, sometimes that distance helps - perhaps worth asking.

Just a thought - he hasn't got a UTI has he - sometimes that causes a big change in confusion and behaviour.
Take care, others will be on soon with other ideas xxx
Am going to phone the memory clinic tomorrow, he may need more meds as he is only on Trazodone. Have tested for UTI nothing.

Our son is taking him to daycare tomorrow they do not collect as it is also a care home, where he will eventually end up. They are very supportive to both of us.
 

1mindy

Registered User
Jul 21, 2015
539
Shropshire
Bless you what a tough time you are having.My OH has had his meds reviewed twice in the last couple of months and is currently more good than bad. So get the memory clinic consultant to look at these for you. Ours even came out to see him .
 

Tracyfaria

Registered User
Sep 4, 2014
6
Taplow
I feel your pain my husband won't do anything I ask him or try get him to do its so frustrating n really tries your patience we also have a 2 year old so between them both its so tiring n
I hate going out as I never know what he's gonna do next n with a toddler is a challenge I try to pick my fights on importance now if he wants to wear odd socks or 3 shirts 2 boxer shorts I let him x
 

gwincy

Registered User
May 18, 2014
17
Cheshire
I feel your pain my husband won't do anything I ask him or try get him to do its so frustrating n really tries your patience we also have a 2 year old so between them both its so tiring n
I hate going out as I never know what he's gonna do next n with a toddler is a challenge I try to pick my fights on importance now if he wants to wear odd socks or 3 shirts 2 boxer shorts I let him x
I felt the same but do not have a toddler to worry about, it must be awful for you. What a dreadful thing this is. At least my husband and I have had 40 good years together, its still painful though.