At the end of my tether...
- Thread starter Bunpoots
- Start date
I've given them their number. It's a brilliant but small agency that hospital haven't heard of. Head carer has told me not to worry - she'll delay. I hope she can.
Hug gratefully received
. Didn't know about the care home labelling things. I'll ask on my rounds.
Black sharpie will last a lot of washings. Write on clothing label. You only need a few to start.I need to get his clothes labelled
Ok, I have wondered why this thread is getting so many replies today and have speed-read the last few pages.
Section 2 is not a particularly terrible threat! It just enables a hospital to keep someone for up to 28 days to figure out what's wrong with them and decide on medication. Let them do it! Best possible thing to happen! Gives you breathing space!
https://www.rethink.org/living-with...-laws/mental-health-act-1983/sections-2-3-4-5
I have been where you are and told medics that I didn't care if John was medically fit for discharge even though he had lost the ability to walk. They had to get him to walk with intense in-house physio or find another solution, ie care home. I also told them I had no duty of care and couldn't be expected to become housebound too, and that he had no house keys on him so if they decided to send him back anyway, I simply wouldn't open the door. So if your Dad still has house keys on him, for God sakes remove them! They weren't happy with me but their opinion wasn't my concern. John's best interests were. I also kept asking them if they really wanted a failed discharge? They get fined for them, you know.
In a way, if you are prepared to fight, you are in the best possible position now to make something happen. They want their bed back but if they can only get it back by helping you find a care home, they will. If you let them discharge him, you will have lost that support. So stay strong, don't succumb to emotional blackmailing and demand a best interest meeting. In the end, the hospital SW bust a gut to find a NH for John - he had no other choice.
Section 2 is not a particularly terrible threat! It just enables a hospital to keep someone for up to 28 days to figure out what's wrong with them and decide on medication. Let them do it! Best possible thing to happen! Gives you breathing space!
https://www.rethink.org/living-with...-laws/mental-health-act-1983/sections-2-3-4-5
I have been where you are and told medics that I didn't care if John was medically fit for discharge even though he had lost the ability to walk. They had to get him to walk with intense in-house physio or find another solution, ie care home. I also told them I had no duty of care and couldn't be expected to become housebound too, and that he had no house keys on him so if they decided to send him back anyway, I simply wouldn't open the door. So if your Dad still has house keys on him, for God sakes remove them! They weren't happy with me but their opinion wasn't my concern. John's best interests were. I also kept asking them if they really wanted a failed discharge? They get fined for them, you know.
In a way, if you are prepared to fight, you are in the best possible position now to make something happen. They want their bed back but if they can only get it back by helping you find a care home, they will. If you let them discharge him, you will have lost that support. So stay strong, don't succumb to emotional blackmailing and demand a best interest meeting. In the end, the hospital SW bust a gut to find a NH for John - he had no other choice.
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Well put and good advice from Beate and others...stay determined as you have been for your dad...he is lucky to have you fighting his corner
I know now is not a good time, but TBH I think that if the hospital sends your dad back home you will lose even more long-term.
I agree with Beate about removing his keys.
I agree with Beate about removing his keys.
I've just been told they're holding him in A&E. The Emergency assessment unit. So they haven't re- admitted him yet. I'm off to take the key out of the keysafe @Beate @canary. Unfortunately daughter gave them the number when she answered the phone this morning.
Would they really drop him home alone?
I'm thinking of emailing the local paper...
Yes I want them to section him. They're trying their best to avoid giving me any help.
Oh Bunpoots I thought we had problems but you're suffering more than anyone should. Be strong and refuse to be responsible for your dads safety ! They have a duty of care after all.Help! I've just had a call from the discharge nurse. They want him out again. Now!!! Trying to delay.
Oh @Bunpoots
This is so unfair on you and on your dad. They're not making any sense, are they? How can they be saying both that they may section him, and that they want to discharge him?? Truly bizarre and, it seems to me, irresponsible.
Am thinking of you - what a nightmare!
Sadly my mum was in and out of hospital three times in quick succession, a bit like your dad but without the threat of sectioning her ( this was three years ago). Finally a staff nurse on the ward called me to tip me off that it was about to happen again, I phoned social services at the hospital, we had an emergency meeting on the ward and it was agreed she could stay pending placement. I had broken down and wept in the meeting and I think even the medics could see that I was truly at the end of what I could do. It really shouldn't come to that, though...
(((Hugs)))
Lindy xx
This is so unfair on you and on your dad. They're not making any sense, are they? How can they be saying both that they may section him, and that they want to discharge him?? Truly bizarre and, it seems to me, irresponsible.
Am thinking of you - what a nightmare!
Sadly my mum was in and out of hospital three times in quick succession, a bit like your dad but without the threat of sectioning her ( this was three years ago). Finally a staff nurse on the ward called me to tip me off that it was about to happen again, I phoned social services at the hospital, we had an emergency meeting on the ward and it was agreed she could stay pending placement. I had broken down and wept in the meeting and I think even the medics could see that I was truly at the end of what I could do. It really shouldn't come to that, though...
(((Hugs)))
Lindy xx
About breaking down and crying. I did this, I have never been so low. The medics took the point. I wonder if a message could be pinned temporarily to the door of the house saying there is no one in now. I know it's not what we want to do but it would make a point. Photograph it as well. They cannot possibly discharge him home alone. Not if it is made clear like this. Kindred.Oh @Bunpoots
This is so unfair on you and on your dad. They're not making any sense, are they? How can they be saying both that they may section him, and that they want to discharge him?? Truly bizarre and, it seems to me, irresponsible.
Am thinking of you - what a nightmare!
Sadly my mum was in and out of hospital three times in quick succession, a bit like your dad but without the threat of sectioning her ( this was three years ago). Finally a staff nurse on the ward called me to tip me off that it was about to happen again, I phoned social services at the hospital, we had an emergency meeting on the ward and it was agreed she could stay pending placement. I had broken down and wept in the meeting and I think even the medics could see that I was truly at the end of what I could do. It really shouldn't come to that, though...
(((Hugs)))
Lindy xx
Me too I'm worried about my husbands state of mind. He is suicidal due to agonising pain in his remaining leg and to be treated like a criminal for no reason is breaking my heart I feel so helpless and of course it's the weekend so my hands are tied until Monday. Not that SS answers the phone . Keep being fobbed off. Do you know if PALS would be any help ? Our helpful G.P. And M.I.L's is now on holiday for 2 weeks so no help there. Fingers crossed I can get through to the SS manager on Monday and change SW ASAP.
Would they drop him home alone? It has happened to people who have no one to speak for them - in the middle of the night, to a cold flat with nothing in the fridge. And it's not the nurses' or doctors' fault, it's the discharge team that has one goal only - free up beds by discharging people who are remotely deemed "medically fit for discharge". I'm not saying they are all like that, but they are under immense pressure from management, and protocol is probably not always followed.
You'll have to be VERY vocal.
My husband has POA for his mother but it seems it's not worth the paper it's written on where SW is concerned. Had to inform DWP that carers allowance is to be stopped, and attendance allowance. What a performance ! All because of a bully SW that listens to nobody apart from other SW's that he bought with him 10 days ago. I don't like my M.I.L. but I wouldn't wish this on her. She must be really scared and confused that we haven't been to see her. I hope where they have taken her are being kind to her.
I've got the key now and I'm switching the phones off overnight. They surely can't leave him on the driveway?
Couldn't agree more you need to put your foot down on this occasion. Us carers would be prosecuted for leaving PWD alone in the middle of the night with an empty fridge but they are allowed to do it. We are in the west Mids and it happens on a regular basis. I run a weekly retirement club and it has happened to some of our members. Good luck Bunpoots. x
If they don't admit him til next Tuesday it won't be a failed discharge and they won't get fined. I wonder if that's what they're up to?
I feel really mean doing this but I'm seriously thinking of staying away from the hospital so they can't try to persuade me to take him home.
I feel really mean doing this but I'm seriously thinking of staying away from the hospital so they can't try to persuade me to take him home.
I'll leave the phone on then and tell them very firmly that they have a duty of care to a vulnerable adult and I can't cope with his current level of needs. Any other illness and they wouldn't expect us to
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