At the end of my tether...

[Elle3]

He was dressed normally today @Elle3 but unfortunately his sense of humour had deserted him. He'd wet himself and was changing when I arrived. I can tell by the fit of his trousers if he's gone commando - he was!!!
Apparently "the doctor's a blaady idiot!! He's given me women's pants. I'm not wearing those!!!" I told him they were the same special pants for men and women to stop pressure sores ( I've given up trying to convince him he's leaking ) now that he spends a lot of the day sitting down. But he was having none of it and he's going out tomorrow to buy some proper men's pants...

I have to agree the pull-ups do resemble those 1950s bikini pants with the pretty shirred effect . Eventually I persuaded him to wear them and said I'd have a word with the doctor. But dad is still going shopping tomorrow!!

I've ordered a stamp set and ink pad. Never thought I'd need one of those to deal with dementia I'm going to stamp "MENS" on the pull-ups

Oh dear Bunpoots, I hope that works. I'd have thought men's and ladies pull-ups would have been different, like babies boy and girl nappies due to requiring extra padding in certain areas, very strange.

Sounds like you need a virtual ((HUG)) today.

Ellex

 

[Bunpoots]

Oh dear Bunpoots, I hope that works. I'd have thought men's and ladies pull-ups would have been different, like babies boy and girl nappies due to requiring extra padding in certain areas, very strange.

Sounds like you need a virtual ((HUG)) today.

Ellex

Thank you Elle. I do need that hug

They don't make boy/girl nappies anymore. They're all unisex now ( I gave up childminding last year) and much cheaper than they used to be. I expect it'd be even more expensive for the NHS if they had to do different pull-ups for men and women - but it might stop my dad moaning!

 

[Bunpoots]

Got to dad's this morning and he was commando again ...and wet.

Eventually managed to persuade him to put on his special pants the Dr prescribed to stop pressure sores because of his heart failure ...
He said they were ladies pants again but I showed him the word "men" which is now stamped on them in blue letters so he didn't argue but he's now moaning that they make his bum look big

I was going to bring him to mine for the day but after having to strip his bed and persuade him, not entirely successfully, to change out of his wet trousers ( I got him into inco pants but he ignored the clean trousers I put out for him and is still wearing the smelly ones ) I couldn't face it. So I've made him lunch and left him watching telly. I'll be going back shortly to put in the second load of washing and decide if he's in a fit state to come for tea. I do feel guilty not spending as much time with him but he's so uncooperative..and I don't want my house to smell like a badly maintained public loo

 

[Rolypoly]

Had to smile at bum comment and I know what you mean about public loo smell . Feeling your pain and sending you a ((hug)).

 

[Bunpoots]

Thanks

I've relented so dad's sitting on my sofa, fully padded and still whittling about the size of his bum

I couldn't find his pills this morning so assumed he'd taken them. They weren't in the machine or any of the usual places. Just found them in a urine sample pot..

 

[Rolypoly]

At least you know no liquid is going to be in there, that’s in his trousers!

I’m assuming you managed to get clean trousers on him as well as a pad. Good going! Tell him big ‘shelf’ backsides are the in thing and people pay hundreds to get a big backside. On the other hand, maybe not, he might end up wanting to sell all his pads as implants

 

[Bunpoots]

At least you know no liquid is going to be in there, that’s in his trousers!

I’m assuming you managed to get clean trousers on him as well as a pad. Good going! Tell him big ‘shelf’ backsides are the in thing and people pay hundreds to get a big backside. On the other hand, maybe not, he might end up wanting to sell all his pads as implants

Didn't manage to get him in clean trousers . But put one of super bunnies rugs on the sofa. They're sniffing it suspiciously now...it needs a wash

 

[Rolypoly]

 

[Bunpoots]

Got dad out of his stinky trousers at last!!!

Unfortunately when I arrived at his bungalow he'd fallen (not hurt) and after 30 mins of trying couldn't get him up. So daughter who was with me phoned for help, ambulance people referred us to call for care who would send someone a round with an inflatable cushion, up to 2hr wait. Don't try to lift him they said....
Meanwhile, a very determined dad, amid fits of giggles, was trying every which way to get himself off the floor, and then trying the exact same thing again because he'd forgotten it didn't work last time...

We tried to persuade him to wait for help, we really did but dad is very determined and so after another hour, and a lot of lateral thinking (deviousness @Rolypoly ) involving a foot stool, 4 cushions, the toilet frame (I cleaned it first!!) and the rollator we got him up - just as the carer arrived

He was very nice, and quite impressed that we'd got dad up, so I managed to persuade him to help dad to change out of his wet pull-ups and into clean pull-ups and clean trousers before he did the assessment that always goes with incidents like these.

But I really hope we don't have to go through this every time dad needs clean trousers

He's also been referred for a wheelchair

 

[Elle3]

Got dad out of his stinky trousers at last!!!

Unfortunately when I arrived at his bungalow he'd fallen (not hurt) and after 30 mins of trying couldn't get him up. So daughter who was with me phoned for help, ambulance people referred us to call for care who would send someone a round with an inflatable cushion, up to 2hr wait. Don't try to lift him they said....
Meanwhile, a very determined dad, amid fits of giggles, was trying every which way to get himself off the floor, and then trying the exact same thing again because he'd forgotten it didn't work last time...

We tried to persuade him to wait for help, we really did but dad is very determined and so after another hour, and a lot of lateral thinking (deviousness @Rolypoly ) involving a foot stool, 4 cushions, the toilet frame (I cleaned it first!!) and the rollator we got him up - just as the carer arrived

He was very nice, and quite impressed that we'd got dad up, so I managed to persuade him to help dad to change out of his wet pull-ups and into clean pull-ups and clean trousers before he did the assessment that always goes with incidents like these.

But I really hope we don't have to go through this every time dad needs clean trousers

He's also been referred for a wheelchair

Oh no Bunpoots, it's so good that you both have a good sense of humour. I'm really not sure how I or my dad would have coped if we had found ourselves in the same situation.

Well done for your ingenuity in getting your dad up off the floor and then getting the carer to help with his care. I'm just appalled that you were told it was a 2 hour wait, no-one wants to spend that long on the floor, plus you don't know how long your dad was there before you arrived.

Take care.
Elle x

 

[ScarletPimple]

Well the meeting with the emergency nhs assessor was about as much use as a chocolate teapot. She did arrange for the Red Cross to deliver a toilet frame but dad keeps moving it into the hall. He uses the radiator and the shower door handle to pull himself off the loo as I found out yesterday when the OT came to do her assessment.

Dad was having a bad day when I arrived yesterday, he asked me where I'd been as he was worried about me...then asked if he lived there...then asked if he lived there alone... This is the first time he's said this to me, although the home help did mention he'd asked where all his nearest and dearest were. I'm struggling to deal with this.

The OT decided there was no point in giving him a walking aid as he wouldn't use it (she's not wrong). Dad got away with the "making the coffee" test as I'd already boiled the kettle to make him one twenty minutes before...she suggested we leave him a flask. I nearly bought him one from Lidl on Monday - bet they've sold out now!!
Can't have a handle fitted in shower as the plastic walls won't hold the weight (the shower curtain rail I fitted on a similar wall is still there 5years later) so I'm going to fit the one I've got lying about in the garage with really long screws .
She also suggested a personal alarm pendant, but as he doesn't remember to wear he glasses, which he's had for the last 30odd years, I can't see that working. And she suggested getting a carer in first thing to help with breakfast and washing and dressing. Dad was insulted!! He said he's not a dirty person...
Apart from a key safe she thought we'd got it covered. I'll be fitting that too..

Oh yes! We've just bought a key safe too.
I have a very sensible and forward thinking husband!
I'm hurriedly writing labels for all the spare keys.
You know something, I'll bet there's a 'safe place' somewhere in mum's room and we'll one day find the back door key, front door keys, about 6 pairs of scissors, numerous garden secateurs, saucepans, calenders, money, teabags, and gawd knows what else!
But probably not the sugar. The mice will have had that! Lol.

 

[Elle3]

Oh yes! We've just bought a key safe too.
I have a very sensible and forward thinking husband!
I'm hurriedly writing labels for all the spare keys.
You know something, I'll bet there's a 'safe place' somewhere in mum's room and we'll one day find the back door key, front door keys, about 6 pairs of scissors, numerous garden secateurs, saucepans, calenders, money, teabags, and gawd knows what else!
But probably not the sugar. The mice will have had that! Lol.

Hi @ScarletPimple, just thought I'd give you a little bit of advice the Social worker gave me regarding keys. She told me to buy those passport photo size plastic keyrings which you can put a photo in. I then made an insert for them and in big bold letters on one side, I typed for example. FRONT DOOR KEY and then on the other side, I typed My Name is ......... Emergency Contact Details and put my Contact Name and phone numbers on it, but do not put their address on the key ring though. I also included the little Forgot me not symbol just in case someone recognised it and then they would know he had Dementia.

My dad thought they were brilliant and constantly read them and kept them in his pocket so didn't lose them as often. But they also proved very useful for when he went out, especially if he went out late at night and someone tried to help him. He knew how to get home and where he lived, but he couldn't tell anyone this as he'd lost his communication skills. But he could show them his key ring, so I was always getting phone calls from people saying they were with my dad and he seemed a bit confused and lost. Most of the time I could assure them that he was OK finding his way home (depending where he was) or I would have to go and pick him up.

I hope you don't mind me suggesting this, it was a bit of a life saver for me. Elle x[/USER]

 

[Rolypoly]

Oh yes! We've just bought a key safe too.
I have a very sensible and forward thinking husband!
I'm hurriedly writing labels for all the spare keys.
You know something, I'll bet there's a 'safe place' somewhere in mum's room and we'll one day find the back door key, front door keys, about 6 pairs of scissors, numerous garden secateurs, saucepans, calenders, money, teabags, and gawd knows what else!
But probably not the sugar. The mice will have had that! Lol.

Have you tried her ‘Mary Poppins’ bag?

 

[Rolypoly]

Thankfully we have always managed to get mum up whenever she has fallen, thanks to OH’s muscles. I have tried on my own but mum and I usually end up in fits of giggles as we try different ways and objects.

Good news though in that he wasn’t hurt and you got clean clothes on him . A win win situation.

Does that mean he gets a freebie wheelchair?

 

[Bunpoots]

Thankfully we have always managed to get mum up whenever she has fallen, thanks to OH’s muscles. I have tried on my own but mum and I usually end up in fits of giggles as we try different ways and objects.

Good news though in that he wasn’t hurt and you got clean clothes on him . A win win situation.

Does that mean he gets a freebie wheelchair?

this is the first time we haven't been able to get dad up. It normally takes a while - about 20-30 mins but not 1 1/2 hrs. We gave him a coffee and a sandwich while he was down there .

If the referral is approved he'll get a wheelchair on loan for as long as he needs it. At least we get to try one out without spending a fortune . If he hates it it won't have cost him anything.

 

[Rolypoly]

A picnic! Just the weather for it today.

Fingers crossed on wheelchair front.

 

[Bunpoots]

Isn't it amazing how small victories become so important? Yesterday dad was sitting at the kitchen table wearing his vest and trousers. "Shall I put the shower on for you dad a before you get dressed?" "Yes" was the reply...

1 1/2hrs later - clean dad - properly dressed. Result!!!

 

[Rolypoly]

That was a long shower! You do realise he will now expect a birthday present as he’s had his once a year shower cos it’s his birthday.

Well done you, hang on to that victory.

 

[Juanita]

Just need to vent so feel free to ignore me.
GP has decided that dad's legs are swollen and he needs an extra water pill. The results have been predictable. This morning was the worst ever.. Dad decided to go to bed at 6.30 last night and nothing the carer said would dissuade him so when I arrived this morning dad was asleep on the sofa and the bed was saturated - thru the disposable pad which normally contains things, the sheets (top and bottom) the kylie pad and down to the waterproof mattress protector. Even the pillows were soaked!!!

So I've stripped the bed, put one load of washing in, left the second and third loads behind the garage door made his breakfast and will now be looking online for waterproof pillows cases that don't make a noise...

Suspect he forgot his pants again

 

[Bunpoots]

That was a long shower! You do realise he will now expect a birthday present as he’s had his once a year shower cos it’s his birthday.

Well done you, hang on to that victory.

He spent most of that time NOT in the shower but I had to leave it running so he didn't change his mind...so he's used a months worth of water