Does anyone know what we should do. My mum was diagnosed with Alz about 18 months ago. She is only 54. My dad insists he can cope but only by shouting at her. He is now having to run the shower for her in the morning, then going to work for a few hours and coming home to her again. She cannot cook or clean the house anymore. Today she went out to the post box and did not come back, dad went looking for her and then yelled at her for being silly. My sister is an emotional wreck and I seem to be the only one trying hard to hold things together. My dad refuses help but thinks it is OK to ring my sister and I at work, upset us and shout at us as his way of letting go. My sister lives close to my parents and I am about 1/2 an hour away, we both work full time, I do particularly long hours and feel so guilty all the time. I find it very hard to care for my mum in a physical sense, whereby by sister can go and wash her and do her hair, the thought simply fills me with dread. We try to give dad a break on saturdays but that means that we never get time in our own homes and again we feel guilty for that. She is due to see a doctor again at the end of the month but I guess that is not going to help with the above situations. Every day we blame ourselves for having mum at home with us as children and her not going out to work and keeping mentally active like our friends mums. Then we worry that we will get it and if we have children we will pass it on. Can anyone offer any advice as to what we should do first, we dont know where to start.