I sit here crying as I write this. I have come very close over the last week to feeling like I want to give my mother a bloody good slap. I’ve had to remove myself from her company and go somewhere I can actually vent my complete frustration. My mothers scratching makes me feel physically sick: she will NOT STOP MOVING. We try to watch TV, but there she is scratching and pulling her hair, tapping, humming, trying to tie the hair has pulled out knots: sniffing her hair, putting it on the floor and then trying to blow it away. I cannot take it any more. When I ask her to stop, she shushes me, tells me to mind my own business and argues that it is my imagination. I would never hurt her, but my god sometimes I’m so stressed that I think it would be worth spending time in prison!!!
the rest of my family seem to deal with it ok.
I don’t need reminding ‘she can’t help it.’ and ‘it’s not her fault’. I’m exhausted trying to keep her busy and her hands occupied. I’m trying to turn a blind eye, but her constant moving is always getting my attention.
I really wish she could go to a care home where ot would be a pleasure to visit her. At the minute the scratching is resulting in me not even wanting to be near her.
the guilt is massive,
