I have struggled to get my Dad to accept respite care for Mum. After a successful week at the end of April we had her in again on 8 August. On 9 August CH staff found her on the floor. On 10th CH had her Dr out who said she couldn't come home as Dad (and I) wouldn't be able to cope. I should make it clear that over the last couple of weeks she's been refusing or struggling with food and drink and tablets, her mobility (not great) has deteriorated. In the CH she became non-responsive. Admitted to hospital on Fri morning and treated for infection, then transferred to local small hospital to "get her mobile." The Sister scared and upset my Dad yesterday by asking if he could have her home. Dad has come to realisation after 5 years he can't cope. She's not been out of bed since probably last Sunday, has couple of pressure sores, is now apparently doubly incontinent. Her oxygen take up is so poor she's on oxygen and I'm told today that she has CCF. She's still on antibiotics, and now medication for CCF. Does this sound like she's now at end stage? If so, I want my Dad, who isn't well himself, to reestablish a companionship with her rather than the stress of being her carer. I'm not sure how to go about pushing to get her into care permanently and looking at funding. Dad is now adamant he can't have her home. Do I need to push for a conversation with the hospital Dr or her GP about CCF, her current state and treatment (or not)? Sorry to download this all but I am feeling lost and stressed about what stage she is at and what our options are and who to approach. Why is it so difficult to get a straight answer? I don't even know for definite which form of dementia she has! Told vascular early on but a CT scan last year revealed so many amyloid protein tangles her brain looks like it's got severe acne.