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At a loss don't know what to do


Registered User
Jan 18, 2015
I first contacted SS in January of this year, telling them that I was at the end of my tether and couldn't cope, I then contacted them in February to confirm that my mother had a diagnosis of Dementia. Absolutely nothing has happened.

I rang them again yesterday and well lost it, its funny how suddenly someone is available to talk to you if you tell them that you are going to evict your elderly parent.

Questions were asked and answers given, but I don't expect anything to happen, am I wrong or do they wait for a crisis before something is done.



Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
near Folkestone
Hello you, SS are a law to themselves!!! Have you considered talking to carer support? They are there for you and have some cloud to chase SS for you :) mine were brilliant but SS were non existent! Mind they came out to assess other half but was deemed coping !!!!!

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Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
I suspect that SS are so stretched, financially and time-wise that all they can do is crisis management. Certainly nothing happened with mum until there was a crises :(

Do hope you will get the help you need now.


Registered User
Feb 26, 2015
I’m so sorry to read your post and hear how bad things are for you.

We unfortunately had a similar experience, although in our case it was my elderly grandfather who was caring for my mum. I seemed to go in circles with social services until I finally got them to agree to visit the house for an assessment. I thought we were finally getting somewhere, only for my grandfather to report that the social worker didn't even stay 30 min, didn't inspect the house (and therefore didn't see the awful state mum's bedroom and the bathroom were in) and only spoke to mum herself – who obviously told them everything was fine! We eventually reached crisis point at the end of last year and the conversation you had sounds very similar – it took threatening to remove my grandfather from the house for his own health, which would then leave mum unattended (with it made clear we would hold social services fully responsible for anything that happened to her) for them to suddenly agree that respite care was needed (it was subsequently decided that this should become a permanent placement and we did receive an apology from the social worker who 'hadn't realised how bad mum's dementia was'). It's awful that people are forced to resort to such measures to get any help.

All I can really suggest is that you stick to your guns and keep the pressure on – but I know how difficult that is when you feel like you're hitting brick walls at every turn and must be completely physically and mentally exhausted :( Good luck.