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At a loss, any advice would be gratefully received.

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
On a very practical level regarding issues with keys, we installed a key safe at Mums house, in a very discreet place that mum never spotted. We then sneakily had a locksmith change the barrels in all doors ( front, back and patio) for the same one so one key opened all doors. This was done when I took mum out for lunch! We popped a key on all her key rings.

This meant that it did not matter which key ring mum used nor which door she was opening, mum could still get in or lock up. But more than that it meant there was a good chance that we would still be able to get in if she left the key on the inside of a lock as it was unlikely that mum would leave a key in all three locks.

I know it seems over the top but we used a lot of techniques, including technology, that mum was unaware of but enabled her to live safely as home for a long time.. We never addressed the accusations of stealing from her but luckily mum blamed the local school children for breaking into her house rather than me!
Thanks for that info, I’ll look into a keysafe. It’s a really good idea to change the barrels. She is blaming kids for some things (started smoking again and miraculously finds a way to get cigarettes), kids are sneaking in and stealing them though.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,388
0
Bristol
Thanks for that info, I’ll look into a keysafe. It’s a really good idea to change the barrels. She is blaming kids for some things (started smoking again and miraculously finds a way to get cigarettes), kids are sneaking in and stealing them though.

This was the one we had before moving into extra care housing. It was recommended by Social Services and comes with Police recommendation too. I can't remember if we actually bought it from this website or from a shop like B&Q or Screwfix.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
649
0
We also bought a key safe that was accredited by the police. we were advised to fit it out of direct sight from the road but where users could be seen so put it on the side wall, close to the back door but tucked between two down pipes. There have been cases in mums area of people trying to force open key safes.

Yesterday a plasterer was visiting mums house to repair some flood damage. The house empty as mum is living in a care home and there was a major water leak a few weeks ago which caused thousands of pounds of damage - fortunately covered by insurance! He had to phone me to ask where the key safe was as he could not find it! We obviously chose the best spot for it!
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
Well last night wasn’t so good, mum phoned the emergency services as there was someone in the house. Two police cars and an ambulance, insisted the police checked the loft (it’s bolted), when they said there wasn’t anyone up there, she told them I had said that when she made me check in the week. They didn’t see the care plan but saw the district nurse folder which mentioned that she was known to the memory clinic.
No one checked the emergency contact information and she couldn’t remember my surname or home number. A neighbour gave them my mobile number which was downstairs, so I knew nothing until I got up.
I wonder whether I will be listened to now. It’s usually me she’s accusing of going in moving things / taking things, which strangely turn up.
Roll on tomorrow, feeling tired :(
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
7,388
0
Bristol
The Lions Club has a scheme called message in a bottle which gives you a form to keep in the fridge with contact numbers, medical history and medication on it. You place a white cross label on your kitchen door to alert emergency services and the form is kept in a plastic container. It may help your mum and yourself if something else happens in future @Jaric. Lions Clubs International | British Isles
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
The Lions Club has a scheme called message in a bottle which gives you a form to keep in the fridge with contact numbers, medical history and medication on it. You place a white cross label on your kitchen door to alert emergency services and the form is kept in a plastic container. It may help your mum and yourself if something else happens in future @Jaric. Lions Clubs International | British Isles
We have that, cross sticker and container in the fridge with contact details and meds info. Nobody looked though.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,433
0
Dorset
My sticker is on the inside of the front door just above the lock. I was told to have it visible in the hall where Emergency services who had come indoors could see it easily but not where anybody could see it through the open door so that it wasn’t obvious to wrongdoers that there was a vulnerable person in the house.
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
Yes, I probably wasn’t clear. Our sticker is on the door jam by the front door as we were told the emergency service will automatically look. Don’t think she gave them her mobile either as it’s set up with ICE.
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
Mum’s delusions have been worse this week culminating with the out of hours doctor coming early hours of Sunday and an ambulance Sunday evening. The ambulance personnel deserves a medal in the length of time and patience it took to get her to voluntarily go with him to hospital. Upshot being, she has been sectioned under section 2 of the mental health act and a proper diagnosis of mixed dementia and restricted blood flow to the brain. The relief of knowing she’ll know get the help she needs is, at the moment stronger than the guilt that she must be terrified. It’s been a difficult few years and I know it’s not going to be easy but we’ll take one day at a time.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,317
0
South coast
Im sorry to hear that @Jaric but as you say, she will now get the help she requires. Keep reminding yourself that she is now safe and is being cared for. Give that guilt monster a good beating.
xx
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,312
0
So sorry to hear that @Jaric, but as you say your mother will now get the help she needs. Look after yourself now.
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
28
0
Thanks, I will, hospital have just phoned and she’s fighting on the corridor as they are trying to transfer her. God forbid, it gets worse.